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  1. #11
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antimony View Post
    @Jennifer

    The idea of text was to make it less intrusive. When I call him, he purposefully sounds irritated and is like "What." but in a way that I can tell he doesn't actually care. We'll even have an Ne saturated banter for a few minutes that is anything but normal.

    I usually hate phoning people. Even picking up phone calls can make me nervous. Not sure why. But he has sparked my interest. It doesn't help that I feel a little shy around him. I intentionally have a sense of confidence when I talk to him.

    And again, not entirely sure he is an INTP. I can't figure it out. He has many acquaintances, but claims to have no one he is extremely close to. Though with me opening up, he opened up back.

    The other day I was in great distress and texted him, but I think he saw that as 'boy crying wolf' because I said I wouldn't back down from trying to talk unless he told me to. I think he may just be trying to challenge me right now.

    Maybe.
    Sounds very much like an INTP 5. I think such a type is very conservative towards emotions, once they feel something, they want to savor it for a while. So they don't want to be engaged frequently, they just need a little sustenance, the occasional talk. He definitely needs to put more energy in. I think you'll be well off just forcing your way in for now, and eventually mr. INTP here will learn eventually.
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  2. #12
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    A little poke at INTPs. They want to communicate when they want to communicate but if you ignore them, they feel ignored.
    Most people are that self-interested.

  3. #13
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    I can definitely see some of my friends in that description. I don't know how to tell when they want to talk unfortunately. I usually send them random/funny/snarky texts/emails that challenge them and that I know they'll only itch to reply, albeit eventually. They aren't the serious serious INTPs though. We are almost all the time in a bouncy castle of derision, even when we ought to be serious.

    Your friend, on the other hand, seems to be the type of person who will talk only when he wants. Hmm like others have said, send emails. A lot of them haha. Do you have common interests? You could start with those as openers and then try to dig to find some more info. Those can also be used for future hang out opportunities.

    In any case, don't take it too personally when he doesn't reply back. [I know it's hard (specially when you feel like you have to chase them around) but you can't really change people.] Just badger your way in.

  4. #14
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    Most people are that self-interested.
    Is it solely self-interest or in the case of IPs, the weighing of introversion (feeling drained) and a form of insecurity based on unknown elements (aka people)? Many INTPs do care about other people's feelings and NEED to know how they're feeling but since they don't know, wonder how they themselves should be feeling and reacting, which spirals into detachment or analysis-paralysis.

  5. #15
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    Is it solely self-interest or in the case of IPs, the weighing of introversion (feeling drained) and a form of insecurity based on unknown elements (aka people)? Many INTPs do care about other people's feelings and NEED to know how they're feeling but since they don't know, wonder how they themselves should be feeling and reacting, which spirals into detachment or analysis-paralysis.
    That seems to be a pattern. In fact it seems to extend to introverts in general.

  6. #16
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Asterion View Post
    Sounds very much like an INTP 5. I think such a type is very conservative towards emotions, once they feel something, they want to savor it for a while. So they don't want to be engaged frequently, they just need a little sustenance, the occasional talk. He definitely needs to put more energy in. I think you'll be well off just forcing your way in for now, and eventually mr. INTP here will learn eventually.
    I think he is an INTP 5. I am going to force myself. He makes me shy because I can't read and predict him, but I am going to call him today despite this.

    @thealchemist I'm not taking it personally, because I was unsure of whether to know if I should or not in the first place. I've never, ever been so in the dark about someone's opinions of things.

    In order to find out more about him, I have to actually talk to him. It's been like, 5 or 6 months since he has responded to me.

    Common interests? Reading, video games, and potentially theoretical things. Maybe I will dig up logic puzzles or something. Or just man the fuck up and call him.

    If he didn't want to talk ever again, wouldn't he have said something? Maybe he's blocked me. /feeling uncertain
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  7. #17
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    That seems to be a pattern. In fact it seems to extend to introverts in general.
    Agreed for INPs. Possibly for ISPs. IJs? Uncertain of this. Possibly INJs.

  8. #18
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    Think about whether you're putting more effort into this than it's worth.

    There's no big mystery. Some people just do not initiate contact, and some people don't like to feel that others are intruding upon them--whether or not those feelings are justified or not.

  9. #19
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    Think about whether you're putting more effort into this than it's worth.
    He's worth it.

    There's no big mystery. Some people just do not initiate contact, and some people don't like to feel that others are intruding upon them--whether or not those feelings are justified or not.
    *pulls hair out*

    He is always hanging out with people.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antimony View Post
    I think he is an INTP 5. I am going to force myself. He makes me shy because I can't read and predict him, but I am going to call him today despite this.

    thealchemist I'm not taking it personally, because I was unsure of whether to know if I should or not in the first place. I've never, ever been so in the dark about someone's opinions of things.

    In order to find out more about him, I have to actually talk to him. It's been like, 5 or 6 months since he has responded to me.

    Common interests? Reading, video games, and potentially theoretical things. Maybe I will dig up logic puzzles or something. Or just man the fuck up and call him.

    If he didn't want to talk ever again, wouldn't he have said something? Maybe he's blocked me. /feeling uncertain
    This sounds suspiciously familiar. First, I doubt he's blocked you. I totally understand the part about you not knowing how to feel as well. But INTPs are usually direct about things (judging from the advice they give me), and if he didn't want to talk to you, I'm sure he would have told you so.

    I'm not sure I understand the INTP way of getting very intense about stuff they're working on but they do tend to forget the outside world. Definitely poke and nudge him in a way that will not make him feel threatened.

    Are there events currently taking place that could potentially involve those interests? Find out and call him! You can hang out and that will lead to many many future conversations. Also you'll interact with him more and learn more about how he behaves usually. GO FOR IT!!!

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