no. i dreaded the emotional shock that would come when my mother found out i had misbehaved. it was the same each time: she would explode and start to shout at me, i would burst into tears and feel much more upset than it was worth, then she would calm down and become upset that i was upset and we would embrace and try to comfort each other. i was not quite sure what was "wrong" to do, either, because a lot depended on her mood at the moment, so i felt as if i were treading on eggshells. i tried to make sure that these fights did not repeat in the future; of course they still did, and i knew they would, but i thought that if i was as demure and quiet as possible, at least they would be less frequent.
there was a fear of upsetting or disappointing her too, but my main goal was not to be injured, internally, and i think my concern for her was only secondary to that. perhaps it was a means to rationalize my own reactions so they appeared less self-centered. in any case, there was little genuine respect or care in this; it was about raw fear and self-preservation.
it was not a healthy obedience. this became particularly obvious in my teens, when it deteriorated into passive aggression and into my doing what i wanted in secret. took me years to change.
now i am very different in that i often say whatever i think outright, am open about my choices and can defend them when this is required. i don't avoid conflicts because i no longer react to them the way i used to, except for a few rare occasions. and, when it comes to me and my mom, we have actually started to discuss some issues without displaying too much anger, which we never did before; we don't do this all the time, but still, it does happen and it is an enormous improvement.