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  1. #1
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Default ISTJr and Childhood Memories

    Do ISTJs tend to represent their childhoods as being somehow bad? Is there a correlation between childhood memory and type?

    (Sorry about any typoes, I'm trying to learn to type with a different keyboard mapping.)
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  2. #2
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Not an ISTJ but I'll answer anyway: I don't think it's type-related. I think that if you had an awesome childhood -- or a bad one -- you'll remember it as such as soon as you're old/mature enough to put things into perspective.

    I remember my childhood as being happy and fun, and that's because 1) I had cool parents and 2) I have a good personality for only-child-hood (i.e. I wasn't lonely due to not having a constant companion of roughly my age). And I do tend to represent it that way. I feel like both ESTJs and ISTJs are too straightforward to consider consistently representing things as worse than they were, but I dunno.

    Are the instances with ISTJs that you have in mind joking-type situations? i.e. ISTJs bringing up negative childhood things as an example of dark humor? Because I think xxTJs in general are prone towards that -- not necessarily with childhoods but with sad or upsetting things presented lightly. It's a good way to talk about your feelings without actually talking about your feelings, you know?

    Not sure if that helped at all but I hope it did.
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    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  3. #3
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mal12345 View Post
    Do ISTJs tend to represent their childhoods as being somehow bad? Is there a correlation between childhood memory and type?

    (Sorry about any typoes, I'm trying to learn to type with a different keyboard mapping.)
    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Not an ISTJ but I'll answer anyway: I don't think it's type-related. I think that if you had an awesome childhood -- or a bad one -- you'll remember it as such as soon as you're old/mature enough to put things into perspective.

    I remember my childhood as being happy and fun, and that's because 1) I had cool parents and 2) I have a good personality for only-child-hood (i.e. I wasn't lonely due to not having a constant companion of roughly my age). And I do tend to represent it that way. I feel like both ESTJs and ISTJs are too straightforward to consider consistently representing things as worse than they were, but I dunno.

    Are the instances with ISTJs that you have in mind joking-type situations? i.e. ISTJs bringing up negative childhood things as an example of dark humor? Because I think xxTJs in general are prone towards that -- not necessarily with childhoods but with sad or upsetting things presented lightly. It's a good way to talk about your feelings without actually talking about your feelings, you know?

    Not sure if that helped at all but I hope it did.
    Maybe what I'm seeing correlates better with non-MBTI facets of personality, such as optimism vs. pessimism. I've seen it both on this forum and irl. I haven't decided yet what to make of this yet so your explanation is appreciated. I don't know if this subject has been researched anywhere. I've read that being an ISTJ correlates well with suffering chronic pain. The one I know irl has chronic sciatica, and sometimes walks with a limp, although he is only 30 years old. I know there are various patterns that run between types that don't always have to do with personality.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  4. #4
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mal12345 View Post
    Maybe what I'm seeing correlates better with non-MBTI facets of personality, such as optimism vs. pessimism. I've seen it both on this forum and irl. I haven't decided yet what to make of this yet so your explanation is appreciated. I don't know if this subject has been researched anywhere. I've read that being an ISTJ correlates well with suffering chronic pain. The one I know irl has chronic sciatica, and sometimes walks with a limp, although he is only 30 years old. I know there are various patterns that run between types that don't always have to do with personality.
    Hm. Well, the ISTJs I know don't suffer from chronic pain; closest I can think of is that one of them is prone towards ear infections -- but then again my ESFP friend gets pneumonia every year and I think the level of misery in each of those is comparable. So I dunno about correlations between those things and type. If I end up having chronic pain it'll be from Rheumatoid Arthritis, which I will have gotten from my INFJ mother.

    As for pessimism: that makes sense. Not that ISTJs are pessimistic -- they would probably say that they're realists -- but both INTJs and ISTJs often come across as that, to me. Cynics. And I probably come across that way too, to a lesser extent. I think it has to do with having high standards, and being all too aware that most things don't fit those high standards. If the ISTJ you know was remembering his childhood negatively to you, the thought process was definitely "I know what a happy childhood should be, and my childhood didn't fit those criteria -- therefore it was an unhappy childhood". And if the ISTJ comes across as cynical/pessimistic regarding anything else, it'll be from the same thought process: "From my experience, this doesn't work out the way it hypothetically should, so it probably won't this time either." Si to the max.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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  5. #5
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Hm. Well, the ISTJs I know don't suffer from chronic pain; closest I can think of is that one of them is prone towards ear infections -- but then again my ESFP friend gets pneumonia every year and I think the level of misery in each of those is comparable. So I dunno about correlations between those things and type. If I end up having chronic pain it'll be from Rheumatoid Arthritis, which I will have gotten from my INFJ mother.

    As for pessimism: that makes sense. Not that ISTJs are pessimistic -- they would probably say that they're realists -- but both INTJs and ISTJs often come across as that, to me. Cynics. And I probably come across that way too, to a lesser extent. I think it has to do with having high standards, and being all too aware that most things don't fit those high standards. If the ISTJ you know was remembering his childhood negatively to you, the thought process was definitely "I know what a happy childhood should be, and my childhood didn't fit those criteria -- therefore it was an unhappy childhood". And if the ISTJ comes across as cynical/pessimistic regarding anything else, it'll be from the same thought process: "From my experience, this doesn't work out the way it hypothetically should, so it probably won't this time either." Si to the max.
    So for the ISTJ it wasn't the "ideal" childhood. It wasn't "perfect." Therefore, it was all bad.

    You mentioned INTJs in this context, and I know one who can say nothing bad about his own childhood. Even the bad things that happened aren't being represented as bad.

    I know two ISTJs who have, or had, chronic back pain. One of them had back surgery. Another guy I strongly suspect of being an ISTJ had to have back surgery. (On an unrelated note, he once shot himself in the foot practicing the quick draw in his basement. )
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  6. #6
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mal12345 View Post
    So for the ISTJ it wasn't the "ideal" childhood. It wasn't "perfect." Therefore, it was all bad.
    Possibly -- or, like I mentioned before, he was emphasizing the bad for humor. Or, actually, another thing that STJs do is forget to acknowledge things that they consider "normal". He may have only been talking about the things that were bad because they stood out to him as being bad -- the rest he took for granted. Normal means the machine is running smoothly -- not more smoothly than usual, which would be the only time it deserves praise. He would probably praise his childhood if it were unusually happy -- which is why I praise mine so highly, since I'm surrounded by people who have much worse relationships with their parents than I do and than I always have.
    You mentioned INTJs in this context, and I know one who can say nothing bad about his own childhood. Even the bad things that happened aren't being represented as bad.
    Wow -- I've never met a glass-half-full INTJ before! That's pretty cool. One of my closer INTJ friends, although she only says very glowing things about her childhood, sometimes talks about the bad things for laughs -- e.g. her dysfunctional family. And she wonders why I make judgments about her family -- seriously, if all you talk about is how they messed you up, why should I think they're good parents?

    The ISTJs I know actually don't talk about their childhoods all that much, but they do tend to mock-complain about their lives for laughs as well. I think it's a TJ thing, that the more serious an issue is, the less likely they are to complain (i.e. if it's extremely traumatic and mind-scarring they won't talk about it at all, but if they can't open that jar of peanut butter they'll complain about it all day long).
    (On an unrelated note, he once shot himself in the foot practicing the quick draw in his basement. )
    That's awesome! (Well not for him in the immediate aftermath, but I'll bet you all had a good laugh about it once he stopped being embarrassed!)
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    @EJCC I know two INTJs who are very optimistic. It's not that they can't be sad or solemn, but they do face life's challenges head on and have optimistic attitudes despite the lemons life throws at them. This attitude has made them quite successful. I think the main INTJ downfall is the idea that they can go it alone. For example, although their high school has a school counselor, without external guidance they fail to consult with this person regarding basic things such as when college entrance exams are scheduled, or options for acquiring a scholarship. They will miss out on such opportunities, or at best barely achieve them in time. The ISTJ, on the other hand, will have these details well covered and under control far in advance of deadlines.

    I can hear the complaints already from some about what I just said about INTJs. Are they not future-oriented enough to foresee things kinds of issues? It's not that, it's all the details that give them headaches, failing to foresee the future is not the problem. Depending on the extent to which INTJs are more visionary and impractical than is healthy, dealing with everyday mundane details may be problematic for them.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

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