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  1. #1
    Junior Member plaminal's Avatar
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    Default Extraverts: How often do you get just really tired of people?

    How often have you (extraverts) just had enough of people for a while and want to go off and do something by yourself? How often are you tired of having to consider other people's needs or wants, or just having to listen to them (even the nice ones)?

    Thanks for any replies. I think there aren't as many of you on here as introverts.
    ********* Alphabet soup--trying to find the right four letters **********

  2. #2
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    There are certain situations that make me sick of being around people, so the regularity (or lack thereof) of that feeling depends on how often the situations arise. I have a tendency to only make friends with introverts and introverted extroverts (and I'm kind of a low-energy extrovert), so very few of my friends force me into positions where I can't just leave a social situation when I feel like it. However, pretty much any time I go on an extended trip with someone (especially if that someone is an extrovert!), I get sick of them after the first day or two. It's never personal, but I find myself craving some -- any -- time to myself. On my most recent road trip (with an ENFJ), I actually got into a big argument with him near the end, and it wasn't his fault at all -- it was me being really frustrated and cranky.

    Exceptions: when I travel with family, or when the traveling allows for some alone time on my part -- or for visiting other friends in the middle. Sometimes (and I'll bet this is an extrovert thing), going from one social event to another can be as refreshing as going from a social event to alone time. It's like how after a long day of walking, changing into a different pair of shoes can feel wonderful.

    As for getting tired of dealing with people's wants -- that happens much, much more often. I think it's due to lack of Fe. I am very quickly drained by dealing with other people's problems -- and usually I avoid those situations entirely unless 1) I know the payoff (in terms of a good relationship with the person, etc) is worth it, or 2) I am good friends with the person (meaning it's my duty to provide for them if they need it).
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  3. #3
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I'm around people at work all of the time every day and I have to be pleasant and nice... when off work I am NOT social by any means
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by plaminal View Post
    How often have you (extraverts) just had enough of people for a while and want to go off and do something by yourself? How often are you tired of having to consider other people's needs or wants, or just having to listen to them (even the nice ones)?

    Thanks for any replies. I think there aren't as many of you on here as introverts.
    I often want to do something myself. But I always like having people around. I can get tired of listening to people if something is on my mind, there is something I want to do or they are asking too many questions. Or, if their communication style is tiresome.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by plaminal View Post
    How often have you (extraverts) just had enough of people for a while and want to go off and do something by yourself? How often are you tired of having to consider other people's needs or wants, or just having to listen to them (even the nice ones)?

    Thanks for any replies. I think there aren't as many of you on here as introverts.
    I'm not that strongly extraverted, just this side of the I-E spectrum but anyway.

    I really like people and have a social disposition but the problem is that the motivation at its heart involves a particular mental picture of people which falls short most of the time, so I'll meet new people, get disappointed, tolerate them, get tired, either take time out or just go straight to trying to meet new people again.

    In my leisure time its probably more pronounced because my work basicly requires that I co-regulate dysfunctional people's emotional presentation until they unlearn the worst of the dysfunction and learn a different way of behaving or simply mature, at a different, slower, trauma impared rate. So work is where I cant exercise the same choice to walk away or start over with fresh material.

  6. #6
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i'm very rarely alone it seems. i like having people around and for me it would be ideal to have a lot of family or close friends as neighbors with a sort of open door policy...i find that i'm not too concerned with rather or not i'm being engaging enough or showing someone enough attention....i like to just feel at ease and have people do as they please...i like the comfort of having people about to converse with but not feeling obligated to do so....i think i feel pretty neutral about it most of the time...finding it easy enough to slip into my own head space regardless of who's around.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #7
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    All.the.time. Which is why my preference for any connections cannot be with needy people. They tap me dry.

  8. #8
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I just really wish that people would quit wanting something from me... it seems that every interaction that I have with anyone involves them wanting something from me or some piece of me. If I could just interact from time to time with a sense of peace I would be all for being more of a people person... I love just hearing what people have to say about things and playing with the thoughts that they express and hearing their lives and the manners in which they speak. I just hate to let people down I guess
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  9. #9
    Doesn't Read Your Posts Haight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    ...
    And I thought I used too many ellipses.

    My only thought on this is that I wish you guys felt that way more often.
    "The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
    Haight

  10. #10
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haight View Post
    And I thought I used too many ellipses.

    My only thought on this is that I wish you guys felt that way more often.
    ha! you really don't read my posts!
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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