Proposed definition #1
Hypothesis: Extraverted Feeling is the attitude of viewing everything in terms of what role it defines for people to play in regard to each other. When you say "How are you?" to someone, you are playing a role. It's a role that is intrinsically connected to other people's social roles; you can't play it by yourself. When the other person says, "Oh, not too bad. How about yourself?", they are playing out the complementary role. From an Fe perspective, by definition, every act is a declaration of what role you would like to play in the social setting.
When people speak of someone else's action as an attempt to "define them", they are making a proposition that only has meaning through Fe. For example, if a male boss says to a female employee, "Get me a cup of coffee," from an Fe perspective, this would be an attempt to "define" the employee as subservient and as a waitress or personal caretaker. If she goes along with it, then she is accepting that as her social role. Of course, she has the option to not go along with it. She can negotiate to play a different role, and the only way to do this is to push her boss into modifying his role. She could say, "I'm an engineer, not a waitress." Her boss now must choose roles when he responds. He could insist firmly on the dominant/subservient roles, with something like "I'm the boss here, and I just asked you for a cup of coffee. Now get it," in which case he risks having other people refuse to play along with his desired role, which could leave him playing big boss all by himself, which is no fun. Or he could go along and establish his boss role in a slightly modified form: "Ah, terribly sorry. I'll call the cafeteria staff. What'll you have to drink?"
In this manner, from an Fe standpoint, everyone is continually defining each other and getting defined by each other, as they establish social roles that others implicitly agree to go along with.