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  1. #1
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    Default How do I tell my INFP boyfriend I love him? (don't read details if it deters answer!)

    We've been dating for 9 months. We get along spectacularly but never really talk about "mushy," sentimental, or romantic things... at the most, "I miss you," "You're the best," or "I can't wait to see you"'s are exchanged (we live an hour apart).

    I've loved him since we had been together for maybe two months--like truly loved him. But we can both be kind of shy and afraid to make the next move. I know when we first got together, it was really hard for him to initiate anything physical without a little bit to drink first (not because he didn't like me, he was just nervous).

    I'm having an equally hard idea trying to tell him "I love you" or even "I'm in love with you" (though I think the former will do just fine, b/c the latter sounds super dramatic, and I think with our great relationship he'll know I mean that I REEEEALLY love him). I'm 18 and he's 20. Yes, I'm young, but I am mature and truly don't fit in with almost anyone my age or younger.


    PLEASE HELP! I'm so nervous that, no matter how/when I say it, he just won't receive it well. I'm his first girlfriend and I'm afraid he will be scared to hear "LOVE" for the first time. But I really want him to know. It's been nagging at me for 7 months, and I know the words themselves are not the most important part of love, but we already show it very much, and now I want to tell him... please, please help. Thank you.

    OH! And I'm an ENFP.

  2. #2
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by thismessismine View Post
    We've been dating for 9 months. We get along spectacularly but never really talk about "mushy," sentimental, or romantic things... at the most, "I miss you," "You're the best," or "I can't wait to see you"'s are exchanged (we live an hour apart).

    I've loved him since we had been together for maybe two months--like truly loved him. But we can both be kind of shy and afraid to make the next move. I know when we first got together, it was really hard for him to initiate anything physical without a little bit to drink first (not because he didn't like me, he was just nervous).

    I'm having an equally hard idea trying to tell him "I love you" or even "I'm in love with you" (though I think the former will do just fine, b/c the latter sounds super dramatic, and I think with our great relationship he'll know I mean that I REEEEALLY love him). I'm 18 and he's 20. Yes, I'm young, but I am mature and truly don't fit in with almost anyone my age or younger.


    PLEASE HELP! I'm so nervous that, no matter how/when I say it, he just won't receive it well. I'm his first girlfriend and I'm afraid he will be scared to hear "LOVE" for the first time. But I really want him to know. It's been nagging at me for 7 months, and I know the words themselves are not the most important part of love, but we already show it very much, and now I want to tell him... please, please help. Thank you.

    OH! And I'm an ENFP.


    how about writing it out? maybe just keep it simple and sweet like: "just wanted to say i love you. c:"

    odds are, he has been wanting to say it to you for a long time as well. Us INFPers... we can be kinda sneaky like that.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post


    how about writing it out? maybe just keep it simple and sweet like: "just wanted to say i love you. c:"

    odds are, he has been wanting to say it to you for a long time as well. Us INFPers... we can be kinda sneaky like that.
    Actually putting it in writing would be a good idea.

    This is such a cutesy feelery thing, let us know how it all turns out

  4. #4
    Member Matt_s's Avatar
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    I'm really surprised two young NFs in love can go so long without vocalizing it. I imagine he'll be relieved. There's a good chance he's been wondering the same thing. I'd venture that your actions toward one another have been expressing this unspoken love for a while. I'd just tell him. The right time won't come but a right time probably will.

  5. #5
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    i'm sure he loves you too but he's too scared to say it first. i kinda feel like the first time you say it shouldn't be in writing. just say it when the time feels right.

  6. #6
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    Thanks for all of your help! I wasn't even sure if anyone would view this, let alone respond. I would love to tell him but I am just so NERVOUS about how it's all going to play out afterwards, like will it be awkward? Just due to the fact that we can both be shy, like I said (I know I'm an ENFP but on certain tests that indicate this, I always get 51% extroverted and 49% introverted so it's a close one).

    I'd love to write it out and he's actually a writer... this is a good idea. I've considered it before but also thought it might be like "cheating" or "the easy way out," analagous somewhat to telling him over a text message or something lame like that. Thanks to all, though, this is helping me to work up the courage (or try!) to straight up tell him.

  7. #7
    Anew Leaf
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    Aww I think it's sweet

    Good luck on it and keep us posted!

  8. #8
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    it'll probably make him ridiculously happy...he's probably a bit unsure of your feelings for him...like he knows how he feels and it seems like you feel the same but maybe it's just wishful thinking...maybe it means more to him than it does you...he might be afraid to scare you off by saying it. infps can be full of self doubt....just say it...don't write it. just say it the next time it pops in your head when you're together.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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  9. #9
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thismessismine View Post
    We've been dating for 9 months. We get along spectacularly but never really talk about "mushy," sentimental, or romantic things... at the most, "I miss you," "You're the best," or "I can't wait to see you"'s are exchanged (we live an hour apart).

    I've loved him since we had been together for maybe two months--like truly loved him. But we can both be kind of shy and afraid to make the next move. I know when we first got together, it was really hard for him to initiate anything physical without a little bit to drink first (not because he didn't like me, he was just nervous).

    I'm having an equally hard idea trying to tell him "I love you" or even "I'm in love with you" (though I think the former will do just fine, b/c the latter sounds super dramatic, and I think with our great relationship he'll know I mean that I REEEEALLY love him). I'm 18 and he's 20. Yes, I'm young, but I am mature and truly don't fit in with almost anyone my age or younger.


    PLEASE HELP! I'm so nervous that, no matter how/when I say it, he just won't receive it well. I'm his first girlfriend and I'm afraid he will be scared to hear "LOVE" for the first time. But I really want him to know. It's been nagging at me for 7 months, and I know the words themselves are not the most important part of love, but we already show it very much, and now I want to tell him... please, please help. Thank you.

    OH! And I'm an ENFP.
    do you guys ever watch movies together? why not cuddle up with a blanket, have some hot chocolate and enjoy a movie together
    then all you have to do is ask him "can I give you a hug?" and then you give him a big, long, affectionate hug. he's an INFP, he'll love that, trust me
    PS: dating a 20 year old guy when you're 18 is not unusual at all.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    You know, sometimes the best way to do it is to not make a big production out of it. For example, you could just say it when you end a phone conversation, like " I love you! See you tomorrow!" Then it's not as scary to either person.

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