Fi is self-centered.

[rav3n]

Fi state is beyond bizarre. As expressed in the Rant thread, in its inferior state, it's punishment for arrogance. And yet, Fi is terribly arrogant within itself since it needs to win.

 

[wolfy]

Wouldn't self referencing be a better phrase. Self centred sounds like Fi has its own ego which creates a kind of interesting image.

Help! there's an ego in my ego.

 

[Giggly]

I would tell other people the same thing, but I'd also tell them that I'm deeply conscious of the fact that I do it myself.

Yay for self-awareness!

As to the reasons: I deeply dislike people telling me what is and isn't part of me, which is essentially what doubting my sincerity amounts to. If I said it, it IS part of me so doubting feels like rejection, and I'm very sensitive to rejection.

Welcome to what it's like being an Fe-user and even more, an SJ, around here everyday.

As for carrying other people's burdens, yes, I'm conscious of the fact that I can't and shouldn't control what other people think and it helps a lot in dealing with situations when my immediate impulse is to react very emotionally. I can usually step back and say, "Well, it's your prerogative to believe that but I stand by what I said and I think you should consider it."

This is not a normal reaction for me, but I don't have the endurance to argue and be in conflict constantly.

 

[011235813]

Welcome to what it's like being an Fe-user and even more, an SJ, around here everyday.

Oh, I'm sorry, that sounds very unpleasant. I'd get upset and throw a tantrum and/or leave; you're really remarkably good natured, which is awesome.

This is not a normal reaction for me, but I don't have the endurance to argue and be in conflict constantly.

I have a low threshold for argument and conflict as well; nowhere near as low as it used to be but it's still not something I enjoy. On the other hand, if I see something that irks me, it is very difficult not to jump in and offer my two cents and defend it vigorously if someone misunderstands what I'm saying. I'm pretty accommodating though so it happens quite rarely.

 

[skylights]

yes. but it also minds its own business

*sort of kidding... it seems like there really is always this breakdown between Fi and Fe users... IRL and online... those of us with stronger Fi will err to the side of focusing on ourselves and giving others space... which reads to Fe as self-absorption and ignorance of others... and those of us who see through the Fe perspective will err to the side of focusing on exchanges and the interaction between others... which reads to Fi as enforcing personal rules on everyone

 

[rav3n]

yes. but it also minds its own business

It does? Never been chased around the block by someone wielding a Fi-frying pan? So...painful...

 

[INTP]

100% true, but if you are lucky to be important enough to the Fi user he just might sacrifice being selfish for your good or if it makes the Fi user feel like crap if he wrongs you to gain for himself, usually with the latter they tend to be selfish first, because they forgot to include others and afterwards feel like they did something wrong. bit if you afe important enough for you, they might even put your needs over theirs.

INFPs seem to forget to include others more than their E version.

 

[Quinlan]

I think Fi is individual centered, that individual may or may not be ourself at any given time.

 

[highlander]

I have a really high Fi, and I would consider my values anything but self centered. As a matter of fact they are probably the mostly logically objective, tried, true, fair, and consistent ideas that have been stored in my thought process.

In a manner of speaking Fi is self-centered, because the only thing one can perceive is one's own emotions, and so empathy is exhibited as an intellectual exercise of 'how would that make me feel'. So this system of empathy is not really related to the feelings of others but the projection of the self's feelings on others; which can be described as self-centered, however I think you'll find Fi users are far more accommodating and sympathetic than Fe users, as the saying goes, Do for others as you would have done unto you- is characteristic of Fi and not Fe.

I completely agree with this, except "self-centered" is just a bad way to describe. In the abstract, it might be technically correct, if you remove the meaning that society places on the words. I can think of one iSFP I used to know very well and she was one of the least self-centered people I have every known.

 

[OrangeAppled]

All introverted functions are self-centered because the mental focus is on the inner world of the subject. Fi is no more self-centered than Ti, Si or Ni. Self-centered is not the same as "selfish" though, and shouldn't be taken too literally in layman's terms.

Fi is mainly self-centered in the sense that it builds & refines an internal model of the ideal & it gages everything according to this. The self basically becomes a testing ground for what is significant, necessary & good in relation to being human. However, the valuations created take into account people in general, meaning many core ideals involve the welfare & needs of other people.


EDIT: Let's consider two traits associated heavily with Introverted Feeling types (more so than ExFPs, which suggests these traits are more heavily connected to Fi then Pe) that are at odds with selfishness and/or being self-centered.

1. Fi-dom are pretty much the best listeners around. Check out that Nardi thread & the results of his study. Fi-dom will listen the most intently, without drifting off to form their own thoughts, longer than any other type. Is it self-centered to be wholly immersed in the words from another person for relatively long periods of time? I think not. My personal experience is that Fi-dom speak less about themselves in conversation than most people IRL, often shifting the focus to the other person & being listeners more than talkers.

2. Fi-dom are known for being accommodating, easy-going, & allowing others to have their way as long as it is not a very serious issue (in which case a person has a right to assert preferences). That is far from selfish because it's putting one's own preferences aside in most matters, not insisting on them.

 

[Lady_X]

Interesting. Perhaps I was too quick to extrapolate from personal opinions and interpretations. I still do think though that there's a cult of individualism in society today that extolls self-centredness (what a horrible word) to some degree.

For what it's worth, the idea of being fake or being called fake sets my teeth on edge, whereas I have been called selfish several times without feeling similarly extreme reactions. While being perceived as selfish is a sobering thing to think about, it's something I usually acknowledge and work on trying to fix. On the other hand, I remember times when people have accused me of saying something just for the sake of being polite or have questioned the sincerity of my motives. I don't get mad very often but comments like that invariably make me see red. So whereas I perceive selfishness as something that can certainly be worked on and amended without being antithetical to my being, being fake ... I can't really see a cure for that, because it's as though you've already made a pact with yourself deciding that honesty isn't enough. That's just my two cents anyway.

ha that's funny...maybe there in lies the truth of it all...because i feel the same. i'd rather be selfish than fake too...and i'd rather someone else be selfish than fake. i don't want or appreciate fake politeness...screw my emotions because i don't want it if it's not real.

 

[Santosha]

Ofcourse Fi is self-centered. Just like others mentioned, all introverted functions are.

But I also agree that fi can be incredibley self absorbed, I see it in myself, other users on this forum, and IRL. I think its the nature of the beast. And when I look at what fi and fe does for humanity, I feel like Fi understands humanity better, but fe seems to do a hell of alot more about it. Oh yes, I know this statements gonna get me into trouble. This is just my experience. THe INFJ's and ENFJ's I know can spend massive amounts of time and energy cultivating their ideals in group mentality and creating something tangible for society. The strong fi'ers don't seem to be nearly as productive, but when they finally cultivate it, allow it to be perfect and finished, it's quite extraordinary. I guess I just see so many benefits in Fi and Fe working together that I wish there was more focus and information helping us understand how these different preferences can co-exist and produce. This 'lets break it down and point out the differences' stuff gets old fast.

 

[Lady_X]

100% true, but if you are lucky to be important enough to the Fi user he just might sacrifice being selfish for your good or if it makes the Fi user feel like crap if he wrongs you to gain for himself, usually with the latter they tend to be selfish first, because they forgot to include others and afterwards feel like they did something wrong. bit if you afe important enough for you, they might even put your needs over theirs.

INFPs seem to forget to include others more than their E version.

agreed i think and i wonder what role certain instincts play as well...it seems that my sxness makes me feel all merged and one with those i love so it's not putting their needs before mine but feeling theirs as my own....know what i mean?

 

[Lady_X]

I think Fi is individual centered, that individual may or may not be ourself at any given time.

right right definitely...this is such an important point and i rarely here anyone but me mention it.

 

[citizen cane]

In the spirit of the Fe Fakeness thread...

It has recently been mentioned that Fi is self-centered. Do you believe this statement to be true?

Only as true as the statement about Fe. It can be so in certain cases, and in others it is not.

EDIT: This is lacking much needed elaboration, so:

Fi focuses on the individual, so there are the obvious inherent risks of it becoming 'selfish'. Fe could be considred 'selfish' or 'self-centered' if one is driven by a compulsion to connect with others and meld themselves to the emotional atmosphere at a given moment.

 

[citizen cane]

. So whereas I perceive selfishness as something that can certainly be worked on and amended without being antithetical to my being, being fake ... I can't really see a cure for that, because it's as though you've already made a pact with yourself deciding that honesty isn't enough. That's just my two cents anyway.

Honesty is often not enough. In many cases it is not only insufficient, it is also the less beneficial action.

 

[Southern Kross]

For what it's worth, the idea of being fake or being called fake sets my teeth on edge, whereas I have been called selfish several times without feeling similarly extreme reactions. While being perceived as selfish is a sobering thing to think about, it's something I usually acknowledge and work on trying to fix. On the other hand, I remember times when people have accused me of saying something just for the sake of being polite or have questioned the sincerity of my motives. I don't get mad very often but comments like that invariably make me see red. So whereas I perceive selfishness as something that can certainly be worked on and amended without being antithetical to my being, being fake ... I can't really see a cure for that, because it's as though you've already made a pact with yourself deciding that honesty isn't enough. That's just my two cents anyway.

Same here. I've had people say all sorts of nasty things about me but nothing makes me go ballistic like being accused of being insincere. I guess sincerity is like the last bastion for me.

Believe me, I don't want to be fake either. I think it's just, some people think that any attempt to smooth things socially, or to be civil to someone you don't like, or whatever, is "fake". And I have no problem with those things. I don't seen the point in running around being emotionally naked all the time; it feels uncomfortable to me and I think it causes problems. And even if you have good reason to dislike someone, why not be civil?

But I would agree with this too. Politeness and respect for others are also important to me. Fi users don't necessarily value brutal honesty above conscientiousness. I guess the perception for us is that Fi-users hold back inappropriate feelings, whereas Fe-users pretend to feel something else entirely. Perhaps this is simply because Fe-users have a higher threshold for what constitutes "civility", than we do.

I think Huxley had it right with "self-absorbed". I don't have a flagrant disregard for others' feelings but I can get so caught up in my own world I can be inadvertently neglectful towards others. But then perhaps the Fe perception of this is that I do appear to intentionally disregard what is considered appopriate behaviour. I guess this is an age old issue, though; Fe-users accuse Fi-users of lacking in consciousness of others, and Fi-users accuse them of lacking in consciousness of self.

 

[INTP]

agreed i think and i wonder what role certain instincts play as well...it seems that my sxness makes me feel all merged and one with those i love so it's not putting their needs before mine but feeling theirs as my own....know what i mean?

Yea, and the whole point in Fi imo is that you need to be close enough to the person to feel their needs as your own. im not saying that Fi users cant go against their Fi, its just that they arent using Fi(at least alone) when doing so.

 

[iris.moon]

Basically, yes. We are self-centered (it doesn't mean selfish).

 

[Xyk]

Fi is self-centered in the same way that Ti, Ni, and Si are all self-centered. The "i" means it's focused inwards.