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  1. #51
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post
    Interesting. Perhaps I was too quick to extrapolate from personal opinions and interpretations. I still do think though that there's a cult of individualism in society today that extolls self-centredness (what a horrible word) to some degree.

    For what it's worth, the idea of being fake or being called fake sets my teeth on edge, whereas I have been called selfish several times without feeling similarly extreme reactions. While being perceived as selfish is a sobering thing to think about, it's something I usually acknowledge and work on trying to fix. On the other hand, I remember times when people have accused me of saying something just for the sake of being polite or have questioned the sincerity of my motives. I don't get mad very often but comments like that invariably make me see red. So whereas I perceive selfishness as something that can certainly be worked on and amended without being antithetical to my being, being fake ... I can't really see a cure for that, because it's as though you've already made a pact with yourself deciding that honesty isn't enough. That's just my two cents anyway.
    ha that's funny...maybe there in lies the truth of it all...because i feel the same. i'd rather be selfish than fake too...and i'd rather someone else be selfish than fake. i don't want or appreciate fake politeness...screw my emotions because i don't want it if it's not real.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #52
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Ofcourse Fi is self-centered. Just like others mentioned, all introverted functions are.

    But I also agree that fi can be incredibley self absorbed, I see it in myself, other users on this forum, and IRL. I think its the nature of the beast. And when I look at what fi and fe does for humanity, I feel like Fi understands humanity better, but fe seems to do a hell of alot more about it. Oh yes, I know this statements gonna get me into trouble. This is just my experience. THe INFJ's and ENFJ's I know can spend massive amounts of time and energy cultivating their ideals in group mentality and creating something tangible for society. The strong fi'ers don't seem to be nearly as productive, but when they finally cultivate it, allow it to be perfect and finished, it's quite extraordinary. I guess I just see so many benefits in Fi and Fe working together that I wish there was more focus and information helping us understand how these different preferences can co-exist and produce. This 'lets break it down and point out the differences' stuff gets old fast.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  3. #53
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    100% true, but if you are lucky to be important enough to the Fi user he just might sacrifice being selfish for your good or if it makes the Fi user feel like crap if he wrongs you to gain for himself, usually with the latter they tend to be selfish first, because they forgot to include others and afterwards feel like they did something wrong. bit if you afe important enough for you, they might even put your needs over theirs.

    INFPs seem to forget to include others more than their E version.
    agreed i think and i wonder what role certain instincts play as well...it seems that my sxness makes me feel all merged and one with those i love so it's not putting their needs before mine but feeling theirs as my own....know what i mean?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #54
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    I think Fi is individual centered, that individual may or may not be ourself at any given time.
    right right definitely...this is such an important point and i rarely here anyone but me mention it.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #55
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YWIR View Post
    In the spirit of the Fe Fakeness thread...

    It has recently been mentioned that Fi is self-centered. Do you believe this statement to be true?
    Only as true as the statement about Fe. It can be so in certain cases, and in others it is not.

    EDIT: This is lacking much needed elaboration, so:

    Fi focuses on the individual, so there are the obvious inherent risks of it becoming 'selfish'. Fe could be considred 'selfish' or 'self-centered' if one is driven by a compulsion to connect with others and meld themselves to the emotional atmosphere at a given moment.

  6. #56
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post
    . So whereas I perceive selfishness as something that can certainly be worked on and amended without being antithetical to my being, being fake ... I can't really see a cure for that, because it's as though you've already made a pact with yourself deciding that honesty isn't enough. That's just my two cents anyway.
    Honesty is often not enough. In many cases it is not only insufficient, it is also the less beneficial action.

  7. #57
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post
    For what it's worth, the idea of being fake or being called fake sets my teeth on edge, whereas I have been called selfish several times without feeling similarly extreme reactions. While being perceived as selfish is a sobering thing to think about, it's something I usually acknowledge and work on trying to fix. On the other hand, I remember times when people have accused me of saying something just for the sake of being polite or have questioned the sincerity of my motives. I don't get mad very often but comments like that invariably make me see red. So whereas I perceive selfishness as something that can certainly be worked on and amended without being antithetical to my being, being fake ... I can't really see a cure for that, because it's as though you've already made a pact with yourself deciding that honesty isn't enough. That's just my two cents anyway.
    Same here. I've had people say all sorts of nasty things about me but nothing makes me go ballistic like being accused of being insincere. I guess sincerity is like the last bastion for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Believe me, I don't want to be fake either. I think it's just, some people think that any attempt to smooth things socially, or to be civil to someone you don't like, or whatever, is "fake". And I have no problem with those things. I don't seen the point in running around being emotionally naked all the time; it feels uncomfortable to me and I think it causes problems. And even if you have good reason to dislike someone, why not be civil?
    But I would agree with this too. Politeness and respect for others are also important to me. Fi users don't necessarily value brutal honesty above conscientiousness. I guess the perception for us is that Fi-users hold back inappropriate feelings, whereas Fe-users pretend to feel something else entirely. Perhaps this is simply because Fe-users have a higher threshold for what constitutes "civility", than we do.

    I think Huxley had it right with "self-absorbed". I don't have a flagrant disregard for others' feelings but I can get so caught up in my own world I can be inadvertently neglectful towards others. But then perhaps the Fe perception of this is that I do appear to intentionally disregard what is considered appopriate behaviour. I guess this is an age old issue, though; Fe-users accuse Fi-users of lacking in consciousness of others, and Fi-users accuse them of lacking in consciousness of self.
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    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  8. #58
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    agreed i think and i wonder what role certain instincts play as well...it seems that my sxness makes me feel all merged and one with those i love so it's not putting their needs before mine but feeling theirs as my own....know what i mean?
    Yea, and the whole point in Fi imo is that you need to be close enough to the person to feel their needs as your own. im not saying that Fi users cant go against their Fi, its just that they arent using Fi(at least alone) when doing so.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  9. #59
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    Basically, yes. We are self-centered (it doesn't mean selfish).
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    Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Te

  10. #60
    Senior Member Xyk's Avatar
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    Fi is self-centered in the same way that Ti, Ni, and Si are all self-centered. The "i" means it's focused inwards.
    MBTI: INTP (PNIT if you wanna put it in order of strength.)
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