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  1. #41
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Fi state is beyond bizarre. As expressed in the Rant thread, in its inferior state, it's punishment for arrogance. And yet, Fi is terribly arrogant within itself since it needs to win.

  2. #42

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    Wouldn't self referencing be a better phrase. Self centred sounds like Fi has its own ego which creates a kind of interesting image.



    Help! there's an ego in my ego.

  3. #43
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post
    I would tell other people the same thing, but I'd also tell them that I'm deeply conscious of the fact that I do it myself.
    Yay for self-awareness!

    As to the reasons: I deeply dislike people telling me what is and isn't part of me, which is essentially what doubting my sincerity amounts to. If I said it, it IS part of me so doubting feels like rejection, and I'm very sensitive to rejection.
    Welcome to what it's like being an Fe-user and even more, an SJ, around here everyday.

    As for carrying other people's burdens, yes, I'm conscious of the fact that I can't and shouldn't control what other people think and it helps a lot in dealing with situations when my immediate impulse is to react very emotionally. I can usually step back and say, "Well, it's your prerogative to believe that but I stand by what I said and I think you should consider it."
    This is not a normal reaction for me, but I don't have the endurance to argue and be in conflict constantly.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Welcome to what it's like being an Fe-user and even more, an SJ, around here everyday.
    Oh, I'm sorry, that sounds very unpleasant. I'd get upset and throw a tantrum and/or leave; you're really remarkably good natured, which is awesome.

    This is not a normal reaction for me, but I don't have the endurance to argue and be in conflict constantly.
    I have a low threshold for argument and conflict as well; nowhere near as low as it used to be but it's still not something I enjoy. On the other hand, if I see something that irks me, it is very difficult not to jump in and offer my two cents and defend it vigorously if someone misunderstands what I'm saying. I'm pretty accommodating though so it happens quite rarely.

  5. #45
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    yes. but it also minds its own business

    *sort of kidding... it seems like there really is always this breakdown between Fi and Fe users... IRL and online... those of us with stronger Fi will err to the side of focusing on ourselves and giving others space... which reads to Fe as self-absorption and ignorance of others... and those of us who see through the Fe perspective will err to the side of focusing on exchanges and the interaction between others... which reads to Fi as enforcing personal rules on everyone

  6. #46
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    yes. but it also minds its own business
    It does? Never been chased around the block by someone wielding a Fi-frying pan? So...painful...

  7. #47
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    100% true, but if you are lucky to be important enough to the Fi user he just might sacrifice being selfish for your good or if it makes the Fi user feel like crap if he wrongs you to gain for himself, usually with the latter they tend to be selfish first, because they forgot to include others and afterwards feel like they did something wrong. bit if you afe important enough for you, they might even put your needs over theirs.

    INFPs seem to forget to include others more than their E version.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  8. #48
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    I think Fi is individual centered, that individual may or may not be ourself at any given time.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

    Quinlan's Creations

  9. #49
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I have a really high Fi, and I would consider my values anything but self centered. As a matter of fact they are probably the mostly logically objective, tried, true, fair, and consistent ideas that have been stored in my thought process.
    Quote Originally Posted by Zang View Post
    In a manner of speaking Fi is self-centered, because the only thing one can perceive is one's own emotions, and so empathy is exhibited as an intellectual exercise of 'how would that make me feel'. So this system of empathy is not really related to the feelings of others but the projection of the self's feelings on others; which can be described as self-centered, however I think you'll find Fi users are far more accommodating and sympathetic than Fe users, as the saying goes, Do for others as you would have done unto you- is characteristic of Fi and not Fe.
    I completely agree with this, except "self-centered" is just a bad way to describe. In the abstract, it might be technically correct, if you remove the meaning that society places on the words. I can think of one iSFP I used to know very well and she was one of the least self-centered people I have every known.

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  10. #50
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    All introverted functions are self-centered because the mental focus is on the inner world of the subject. Fi is no more self-centered than Ti, Si or Ni. Self-centered is not the same as "selfish" though, and shouldn't be taken too literally in layman's terms.

    Fi is mainly self-centered in the sense that it builds & refines an internal model of the ideal & it gages everything according to this. The self basically becomes a testing ground for what is significant, necessary & good in relation to being human. However, the valuations created take into account people in general, meaning many core ideals involve the welfare & needs of other people.


    EDIT: Let's consider two traits associated heavily with Introverted Feeling types (more so than ExFPs, which suggests these traits are more heavily connected to Fi then Pe) that are at odds with selfishness and/or being self-centered.

    1. Fi-dom are pretty much the best listeners around. Check out that Nardi thread & the results of his study. Fi-dom will listen the most intently, without drifting off to form their own thoughts, longer than any other type. Is it self-centered to be wholly immersed in the words from another person for relatively long periods of time? I think not. My personal experience is that Fi-dom speak less about themselves in conversation than most people IRL, often shifting the focus to the other person & being listeners more than talkers.

    2. Fi-dom are known for being accommodating, easy-going, & allowing others to have their way as long as it is not a very serious issue (in which case a person has a right to assert preferences). That is far from selfish because it's putting one's own preferences aside in most matters, not insisting on them.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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