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  1. #31
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    This is such a strange topic. I don't know what it has to do with functions. But I have to confront selfishness everyday with two step-daughters who are always competing with one another. I'm more interested in a solution to this problem than analyzing functions. I can think of some solutions, but I don't know how permanent they would be.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  2. #32
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  3. #33
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Old topic is old.

    I find both being fake and self-centered to be something to avoid. I'm finding that the latter is something I need to embrace though. I need to focus on me. /I'm worth it!

  4. #34
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post

  5. #35
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post

    Look at Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  6. #36
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post
    Interesting. Perhaps I was too quick to extrapolate from personal opinions and interpretations. I still do think though that there's a cult of individualism in society today that extolls self-centredness (what a horrible word) to some degree.

    For what it's worth, the idea of being fake or being called fake sets my teeth on edge, whereas I have been called selfish several times without feeling similarly extreme reactions. While being perceived as selfish is a sobering thing to think about, it's something I usually acknowledge and work on trying to fix. On the other hand, I remember times when people have accused me of saying something just for the sake of being polite or have questioned the sincerity of my motives. I don't get mad very often but comments like that invariably make me see red. So whereas I perceive selfishness as something that can certainly be worked on and amended without being antithetical to my being, being fake ... I can't really see a cure for that, because it's as though you've already made a pact with yourself deciding that honesty isn't enough. That's just my two cents anyway.
    Did you get mad because you weren't being fake and was being accused of that, or because you were being fake and was called out on it?

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Were you actually being fake though?
    Nope.

    EDIT: It's interesting that this post provoked as strong a reaction as it did. I was legitimately offended for a second before stepping back, disengaging, and thinking to myself, "That's a fair question."

  8. #38
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post
    Nope.
    sorry, I edited my question to be more clear.

    If you weren't being fake, then I say who cares what they think? You can't carry other people's burdens.

    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post

    EDIT: It's interesting that this post provoked as strong a reaction as it did. I was legitimately offended for a second before stepping back, disengaging, and thinking to myself, "That's a fair question."
    That's why I edited later. It was your wording, and probably a bit of my Si (details) -- you didn't actually SAY if you weren't being fake or not. I'm with you though, it's like who on earth would assume you're being fake? Well, obviously you've learned first hand through experience that people do think that. i've never had to deal with that in my real life, but on this site, it gets thrown around a lot. I don't know if that means anything.

    In other words, if using Fe is considered "fake", you can 't be surprised that when you display it, even as an Fi-user, it's going to be considered fake by some people. I don't know what makes some people consider it bad and others consider it good, but that's a battle left for the warriors.

  9. #39
    ThatGirl
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    I have a really high Fi, and I would consider my values anything but self centered. As a matter of fact they are probably the mostly logically objective, tried, true, fair, and consistent ideas that have been stored in my thought process.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    sorry, I edited my question to be more clear.

    If you weren't being fake, then I say who cares what they think? You can't carry other people's burdens.
    I would tell other people the same thing, but I'd also tell them that I'm deeply conscious of the fact that I do it myself.

    As to the reasons: I deeply dislike people telling me what is and isn't part of me, which is essentially what doubting my sincerity amounts to. If I said it, it IS part of me so doubting feels like rejection, and I'm very sensitive to rejection.

    As for carrying other people's burdens, yes, I'm conscious of the fact that I can't and shouldn't control what other people think and it helps a lot in dealing with situations when my immediate impulse is to react very emotionally. I can usually step back and say, "Well, it's your prerogative to believe that but I stand by what I said and I think you should consider it."

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