User Tag List

First 949575859606169 Last

Results 581 to 590 of 721

Thread: Fe Fakeness

  1. #581
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    MBTI
    IsFJ
    Posts
    3,088

    Default

    After reading this BBC article, I wonder if it's actually a cultural thing...
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  2. #582
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,134

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    OK, so I have some questions :

    - You say you put little stock in your emotions, so what is it that you put faith in? Being so aware of your own fallibility (ie. in your feelings) what makes you trust your other methods of perception or reasoning? Or do you rely wholly on others for creating a balanced view?
    - How much work does it take you to suppress those distrusted feelings? Is it a push-pull experience? Or does your lack of ownership of them (ie. because you think them just transitory) make it easy to distance yourself from them?
    - How clearly can you separate your own emotions from your thinking. Can you easily distinguish when a conclusion/view etc is emotion based and what is not? or do you simply make your best attempt to ignore them and hope for the best?
    - When a strong emotion overcomes you in the heat of the moment and you cannot help but express it (eg. you snap at someone in anger), do you still express it with an intention? Do you never just rant for example, without trying to affect others in some way? If not, how does that intention come across at such times?
    I should clarify that I don't completely disregard my emotions as I think they can be important reference points or indicators of something. However, I consider them one of several other sources of information to factor in. I suppose for the most part there is a pre-formed structure or framework which I use to make sense of the world and form opinions. As new information comes my way, I look at it through the lens of this framework and either add it, or reject it. I'm guessing that this is a product of Ni and Ti working together. Because Ni provides such a myriad of possibilities at every turn, I use observations of others, what I read, personal experience etc to create a structure for ruling out some information/possibilities and accepting others.

    I think Ti requires that it be structured in some sort of way that I can make sense of and which answers the questions that frequently come up. That's also likely why my Ti insists that we agree on the starting points of our discussion before we jump towards any course of action or conclusions. I am aware this seems ponderous to others at times and also that some people would feel that I am not easily open to considering a wild variety of possibilities, particularly from someone whom I don't think has credibility in that area. It's like looking in a mirror that I believe to be inaccurate to get a perception of reality. I've noticed on here that Fi-Te users are much more able (maybe it's Ne as well...) to consider new ideas with more openess. I certainly don't mind restructuring my whole thought system, but I need to be well convinced that it is worthwhie to rebuild that whole structure. This is why a person caught in a Ni-Ti loop is a terrible sight to behold. They just get stuck in an endless loop of gathering and restructuring information.

    What makes me trust this process more than only my feelings at the time, is that it has had time to be tested in a number of situations and pulls experience from more sources than solely myself. It is less vulnerable to fluctuation with my mood or physical state at the time, so I feel that I can be more objective (although none of us can be totally objective). My emotions are easily impacted by the state of other people around me, and not just what wells up from within me, whereas Fi is much more self-referential and therefore feels more reliable to you I think.

    I think my lack of attachment to my emotions does make it easier to step back from them in some regards. On the other hand, I'd also say that I have a tendancy to sometimes underestimate the strength of what I am feeling, because it seems to work on delay. Usually my emotions towards any situation or person are based on my LAST interaction rather than the current one. I think ENFJs are much more in the moment. In an attempt to be fair and reasonable, I sometimes avoid expressing resentment when it is first felt (maybe I'm missing context, maybe it's just me etc) and by the time I do feel it's worth expressing it's become a much bigger deal than I intended for it to be or thought it was and I am embarrassed. However at any sooner juncture, usually it's just a collection of little annoyances, none of which seem like a large enough problem to bring up without sounding petty.

    When a strong emotion comes through, it is sometimes unexpected even to me, although if I'm really at the end of my string I will become rather direct with the intention of either resolving the issue or because I no longer care if I do damage the relationship in some way. If I do choose to continue discussing it, I may become increasingly blunt with the person if they do not acknowledge the initial outburst in some way. I think Fi users sometimes think they are being respectful by not checking to see if a snappy comment was the result of a deeper issue etc (going on what would feel polite to them) or feel the onus is on the Fe user to talk about whatever is bothering them. I'm understanding this better now, but it still feels terribly imposing to unload on someone if they haven't invited more information. It seems as if there would be no point because they aren't interested yet in resolving the issue even though it seems obvious (to me) that I've expressed a problem in some way. Over time though I then get resentful that I'm very affected by an outburst from them, but they don't seem to be when I am upset.

    My time on here has been extremely informative to me and I've learned a lot even in the modbox from my interactions with Fi using mods about how they resolve conflict or even what we both interpret as being conflict and what we both believe is the most useful response.

    I think I'm very aware that my emotions can colour my thinking and are not strictly divisible. That's why I like to have some time for my emotions to settle before I take any definitive action. It feels then like while they are still a part of the equation, they are not infused in the whole problem to such a great extent.

    Sorry for writing a book on this! I would say that SFJ flavoured Fe is certainly quite distinct from NFJ flavoured Fe because it is tempered by differing functions, so I certainly wouldn't claim for my comments to be universal to all Fe users, all NFJs, or even all INFJs. I think from discussions though that I have heard some similar sentiments expressed by INFJs anyway.

  3. #583
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Was thinking about his today ... if someone is upset, I tackle the emotions first because to me that's the place that represents the greatest efficiency. For INFJ's, I wonder if it represents an inefficiency of sorts.

    For example, if I approach someone who I sense is "sad", if I can pin-point the cause of that sadness in this moment (gather contextual information), and then really flesh out and feel that emotion with that person, it will point to solutions I can offer that are relevant to that moment. I can commiserate with you. I can listen. Or I can put the Ne - Te to work on the problem. As appropriate.

    To me, those emotions point to root cause and then, after unearthing, the root cause can be addressed. Addressing the root cause returns, reforms, or restores an equilibrium point, and permits the continuance of forward-motion.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  4. #584
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/so
    Posts
    8,161

    Default

    But, as I said before, you are going too far in projecting that other's problems are always primarily emotional.

    I think you are doing this because, for you, the primary problem does tend to be emotional: Fi is dominant.

    But, for others, while an emotion might be part of it, the primary problem might be rational.

    You never got back to me as you said you would after I raised this issue earlier.

  5. #585
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    But, as I said before, you are going too far in projecting that other's problems are always primarily emotional.

    I think you are doing this because, for you, the primary problem does tend to be emotional: Fi is dominant.

    But, for others, while an emotion might be part of it, the primary problem might be rational.

    You never got back to me as you said you would after I raised this issue earlier.
    I am not sure what you are asking me ... clarify?
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  6. #586
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/so
    Posts
    8,161

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    I am not sure what you are asking me ... clarify?
    I'm asking you to get back to me regarding the (related) matter you said you would...

    You said you would have to think about it and would get back to me...

    I believe it was in this thread...

  7. #587
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    I'm asking you to get back to me regarding the (related) matter you said you would...

    You said you would have to think about it and would get back to me...

    I believe it was in this thread...
    Part was thread and part PM I think ... let me research, back momentarily.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  8. #588
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/so
    Posts
    8,161

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Part was thread and part PM I think ... let me research, back momentarily.
    Found it.

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=1#post1687360

  9. #589
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,134

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    But, as I said before, you are going too far in projecting that other's problems are always primarily emotional.

    I think you are doing this because, for you, the primary problem does tend to be emotional: Fi is dominant.

    But, for others, while an emotion might be part of it, the primary problem might be rational.
    This! I'm not denying that emotions enter into the equation, but they often aren't the primary issue for me. If I resolve the problem at hand, then the negative emotions also dissipate.

    I get kind of weirded out when people want to either focus on the emotions (which seem kind of obvious to me why they are there) and dissect them (particularly if not invited to do so!) or lend me support that I don't feel in need of. What I am in need of is a sounding board and someone who can point out anything I might not have considered or offer a more efficient way of dealing with what I am feeling. If they listen to me vent and then we discuss what to do about the problem after I've gotten that extra emotional noise out of the way, then I'm good to go. That person has performed a true service for me.

    I'm not masking or trying to get out of admitting to the emotions I feel, so much as figuring out how to create an environment that will not continue adding to the overload and which will clean up the problems that appear to be there (get more information out so that misunderstandings are cleared up, find the most effective way to communicate so that we can work well together, express frustration appropriately so that it doesn't do longlasting damage to either of us, etc). Without some way to ameliorate the situation, I really am unable to spend much time focussing on the negativity that that situation engenders, because that just keeps multiplying the noise and possibilities and bad feelings to the point where I am immobilized.

  10. #590
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/so
    Posts
    8,161

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    This! I'm not denying that emotions enter into the equation, but they often aren't the primary issue for me. If I resolve the problem at hand, then the negative emotions also dissipate.
    Interesting...

    I was primarily thinking of Ts, but INFJs are the strongest thinkers amongst the Feelers, so I'm willing to accept this as plausible.

    It also likely has something to do with what you wrote last night and what Kalach has been saying about Fe and leadership.


Similar Threads

  1. [Fe] Any INFJs who think Fe is "fake"?
    By SilkRoad in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 12-26-2011, 12:42 AM
  2. [NF] Other NF's hate salespeople's fake Fe?
    By Lily flower in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 10-15-2011, 11:09 AM
  3. [Fe] Is Fe fake or manipulative?
    By jixmixfix in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 341
    Last Post: 08-05-2011, 11:28 PM
  4. [Fe] Fe is fake and manipulative (proofs inside)
    By INTP in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 07-21-2011, 01:04 AM
  5. [Fe] Fe: No cute title...I just don't get it
    By sakuraba in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 106
    Last Post: 11-18-2008, 09:07 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO