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Thread: Fe Fakeness

  1. #391
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    The funniest part of all is that ... cows don't have balls, only bulls do. An utter fail, on so many levels.
    Bells, not balls. Cow bells, as all men know in this kingdom by the sea, are naturally bull balls. How utterly embarrassing for you.

  2. #392
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Bells, not balls. Cow bells, as all men know in this kingdom by the sea, are naturally bull balls. How utterly embarrassing for you.
    If Wiki doesn't cover the disambiguation, I'm not buying it.

    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  3. #393
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Bells, not balls. Cow bells, as all men know in this kingdom by the sea, are naturally bull balls. How utterly embarrassing for you.
    For you:

    Serving up some Rocky Mountain oysters ...

    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  4. #394
    Glycerine
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    Fried balls.... how delish! @PeaceBaby winz!

  5. #395
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    If Wiki doesn't cover the disambiguation, I'm not buying it.

    That is fine by me. My world is content with this new, yet-to-be-wiki'd concept of cow bells, though obviously I was not familiar with the 'Saturday Night Live' usage of the term.

  6. #396
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    How's that for serving your jewels on a platter!
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  7. #397
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    PB...that cowbell was AWESOME. No kidding, like totally awesome. It is both ridiculously odd, yet beautiful and adorably unique. It strikes my Ne heartstrongs as being amazingl

    Nico, your cowbells were both horrifying, hysterical and sort of pretty all at the same time...cognitive dissonance strikes again!

    Onemoretime, I showed my ENTP friend your post-she said it was like reading poetry, it flowed and that it was beautifully exact and correct. She has been my Ti/Fe debating sidekick for three years and she especially found your mention of "contextual" to be relavent.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Am I the only person who, when he reads these things, is like, "Yeah, I totally know what you mean about interacting with that type!", but, despite coming to a better understanding of the intertype relation, still gets extremely flustered and annoyed by it?

    Sometimes it feels like, even though I gain new knowledge, it doesn't actually lessen the frustration (at least not that much).

    I suppose, when the situation is important enough, I will still be able to use the understanding to make things better than I otherwise would. But, for the day to day shit, recognizing that other people (of my type, usually) share the same frustrations with dealing with other types doesn't necessarily make that frustration decrease. Hearing the same frustration recognized by others (once again, usually of my type) often seems to affirm what I'm feeling, and that affirmation is able to give me a concept to explain the phenomenon, cuz now I know it's not just an isolated incident with me and this type, but likely a more general phenomenon between this type and my type, or this type and certain other types, but, still, just having that conceptual understanding does not seem enough to necessarily mitigate my frustration, or give me an easy answer to fix the situation.

    Those people are who they are, and I'm not gunna be able to explain typology and the typological reasons for our disconnect/misunderstanding to every single frickin person I interact with, let alone people who I interact with regularly but who are not well disposed to this kind of thinking.

    Being as such, sometimes a new frustration forms whereby, now I'm not just frustrated because of the primary interaction itself, but now I'm frustrated cuz I see what's happening but explaining it to that person is really not a viable option.

    I dunno, just needed to get that out there.

    I think this sort of sums up the forum rather well. Unless we have some intrinsic motivation to do so, we dont step out of our innate patterns of behavior and understanding and willing embrace someone elses. Additionally, we may not even be willing to grant them the legitimacy of having a different, but acceptable worldview, as it seems to deny our own worldview legitimacy.

    I think this may be exacerbated with Fe, more so than Te, as how can one alternate anomolous person having a discrepant worldview really be enough evidence to counter the abundant Fe evidence that permeates a society? As Fi users, I suspect we each were mortified the first time we say a thread that said we were "self-centered and selfish", we dont feel that way, how could we be that way??? In the same light I suspect it is hard to be an Fe user, feel that you are caring for others out of self-lessness, being polite out of kindess, only to hear your affection is unwanted or your attempts are considered fake.

    So what to do? well, haha, U's and I's disagreements are phrased in the language of typology. I use it help my enfp son understand his ISFJ step mom. My entp uses it to try and understand her ISTJ husband... In each case the burden of communication always falls upon the person who has the stake in making sure the message is delivered properly. So while it is god damned annoying, even hurtful, that the world doesnt accept me as i would like to be naturally, I also recognize that for those i love or for those I have a stake in clearly communicating with, I need to be the one that bends and adapts to their needs. Oddly, i find that nce I understand HOW to do so, it is easy...

    So I come here, raise a bit of hell, dissect out interactions, rant about frustration, then walk back into the real world with tools and knowledge about how to care best for those I care for-even if they differ from me...

    That's my take anyways.

  8. #398
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    I wonder if it has something to do with wanting to be appreciated for who you are and rejecting the values or expectations to be different that someone else is imposing on you - regardless as to whether or not that imposition is subtle in its manifestation.
    I dunno. Perhaps in myself, because my values are both extroverted and very close to the surface, it hurts more. Why are our values so integral to our core? Why does Fi seem almost self defining for me?

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Oh I agree it is. As an Fi dom, I certainly know how troublesome it can be to others. Fi must be organized in every way to be effective in the world.

    For example, as an agent of change - if I decide to enter the fray, I will have all my data ready to convince the Te types, and all the social benefits / people logistical information ready for the Fe types - for other types, I will have already mentally designated areas needing detail oriented task work or imaginative creative brainstorming and will be ready to engage those people as well. In order to deploy an Fi agenda, it is not enough to say "This is wrong, change needs to happen." One must carefully navigate all the players to a successful conclusion. Lots of work. Took me time to learn this.
    well, I have to disagree on this point. ENFP Fi will not be displayed this way for the most part. Sometimes all it takes is a simple statement of "did you realize how this will effect these people if you do X?" to shift the dynamic when interacting with a TJ during a decision making process. As long as it is reasonable, and you arent playing a blame game or being overly dramatic, it just comes as another perspective and it is extremely effective. If I felt I was being carefully navigated (manipulated), I would not be keen on it. I dont mind direct requests, but indirect manuvering would bug me.

    LOL, if I am an agent of change, I end up going in full force, full of passion and drive, lots of ideas and, most important, sincerity and authenticity that would I feel is correct, really is correct and in the best interest of those involved.

  9. #399
    Glycerine
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    ^I understand the differences between the hypothetical Fe and Fi but why is it usually framed as polar opposites, mutually exclusive?

  10. #400
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I wonder if the schmoozing that's done in the business world (e.g. business networking and stuff) is Fe fakeness?
    You know like coworkers or associates acting pleased to see each or talk to each other, but in reality they don't care.
    Or someone acting interested in what the boss is saying even though they'd rather be doing something else.
    Or a hiring manager giving hope to new grads by saying "Send me your resume" even though they have no intention of hiring them.

    Is that Fe?

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