Hannibal Lector is a psychopath, I don't think you should compare normal people following a certain thinking pattern to psychopaths.
Furthermore INTJ seems to be the ''man of science'' type, accurate and logical etc. This does not really mean that you are cold or anything, it's just that you like to work in a field where accuracy and a well structured environment counts/is needed. And also keep in mind that the MBTI may point out to some truths but is no really an answer to your personality, you are much more than your ''type''. You can have a cold INFP and a warm INTJ by all means.
My experience with INTJ's is that they can be very critical, but in reality they think that they are just being helpful. (Wouldn't someone want to improve?) What they don't realize is that their critical nature (in their minds, helpfulness) comes across to others as being arrogant or critical.
I think someone is confusing INTJ with ISTJ. INTJs put their best social foot forward in a lot of ways. But that doesn't mean they like you or people in general. Their social being is just part of the strategizing of the INTJs, and they are usually very good at it, as with anything else they set their minds to. I think Mastermind is a pretty good type title, although it also sounds kind of evil.
"I absorb energy like a sponge everywhere I go. It allows me to see the world and my purpose in it." Zak Bagans, Ghost Adventures (INFJ)
However on the bright side, my 4 yo INTJ was riding in the car and he explained he wanted to build a giant robot and take over the earth and kill everyone. "What about me and your brother?" I asked. He modifed his plan to include not killing family.
Since then his plans always spare family members, so i just need to convince him we are all "one big happy family" and you should love not kill everyone else.