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  1. #401
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Sunshine, don't get sucked in!

    And ladies...:17026:
    Don't get sucked in?

    It's an honest question. If you are going to weigh yourself against others, then it should be needs versus needs, not wants versus needs.

    Could you refrain from attacking me at least until I go on the attack?
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  2. #402
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Would you sacrifice your needs for the needs of others?

    It's one thing to distort the question by weighing it as "wants" versus "needs" but lets strip the rhetoric and see how it turns out.

    First off it is not rhetoric to clarify wants and needs as being different. It sounds like you are attempting to belittle the very real clarification there and make it sound as if some sort of equivocation took place. It didn't.

    Secondly, it depends on each relationship. Most parents will always sacrifice their needs over their child's needs. In other relationships, negotiations and compromises are often worked as can best fit the situations, especially in symbiotic type relationships where the good of one will impact the other.

    For my husband, I have several times sacrificed my needs for his and done the same for my father, my mother. Also did so for a close female friend. It depended on the situation, it had to be a serious to warrant it. Making a habit out of it would be self destructive. It is better to compromise between both person's needs.

  3. #403
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I'm just sounding the alarm to the n00bs who may not know about your "honest questions" and the bottomless rabbit hole they lead down.

  4. #404
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I'm just sounding the alarm to the n00bs who may not know about your "honest questions" and the bottomless rabbit hole they lead down.
    Considering this has nothing to do with politics, I don't know what you are basing that on.

    But Fine. I'll take it to a different thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  5. #405
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Don't get sucked in?

    It's an honest question. If you are going to weigh yourself against others, then it should be needs versus needs, not wants versus needs.
    Most often many things come down to wants vs. needs. It is a perfectly valid clarification. There was nothing dishonest about it.

    Could you refrain from attacking me at least until I go on the attack?
    She wasn't attacking you. She was making a perfectly valid observation from her own past experience.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Considering this has nothing to do with politics, I don't know what you are basing that on.

    But Fine. I'll take it to a different thread.
    Because all of us here know that you won't be satisfied until the Fi say they are willing right now to go bleed on the cross.

    As to why I respond? Horrific fascination at what you'll come up with next. I simply cannot believe it, I have to see it and when I do, I am astounded.

  6. #406
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    First off it is not rhetoric to clarify wants and needs as being different. It sounds like you are attempting to belittle the very real clarification there and make it sound as if some sort of equivocation took place. It didn't.
    There is a big difference between wants and needs.

    Secondly, it depends on each relationship. Most parents will always sacrifice their needs over their child's needs. In other relationships, negotiations and compromises are often worked as can best fit the situations, especially in symbiotic type relationships where the good of one will impact the other.

    For my husband, I have several times sacrificed my needs for his and done the same for my father, my mother. Also did so for a close female friend. It depended on the situation, it had to be a serious to warrant it. Making a habit out of it would be self destructive. It is better to compromise between both person's needs.
    Hm....I think I will most definitely find the answers to this question to be interesting.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  7. #407
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    As to why I respond? Horrific fascination at what you'll come up with next. I simply cannot believe it, I have to see it and when I do, I am astounded.
    Careful now. I almost get the impression that I'm not wanted here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  8. #408
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    There is a big difference between wants and needs.
    I never said there wasn't. So there goes your latest attempt to spin my response into being something specious.

    However, most conflicts in life come between someone's wants and someone's needs. Then there comes into play a hierarchy of needs between equals. The situation is not as simple as you want to paint it. Between equals, most often neither party wants to place themsleves above the other and they compromise.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Careful now. I almost get the impression that I'm not wanted here.
    This is such a strange response. It is irrelevant to the discussion if I want you here or not. You are here and we are discussing. I don't even think about if I want you here or if you want me here. It is message board, not my home.

  9. #409
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I never said there wasn't. So there goes your latest attempt to spin my response into being something specious.
    Is simply agreeing with you a "spin"?

    My, I've gotten awfully good if that is the case.

    However, most conflicts in life come between someone's wants and someone's needs. Then there comes into play a hierarchy of needs between equals. The situation is not as simple as you want to paint it. Between equals, most often neither party wants to place themsleves above the other and they compromise.
    Interesting perspective.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  10. #410
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Nobody's needs are more important than anybody else's.
    It's each individual's job to make sure that they get their own needs met (except for children/babies/the disabled of course). It would be a bad move to place one's needs as less important than everyone else's because for the obvious reason that one's needs would probably not get met and also because it indirectly influences how much one can give to others. The healthier one is, the more one can give to others. Not that one HAS to give to others. To place that standard on people is unfair but if one wants to give to others, one will be better equiped if their needs are taken care of first. Not only is it unfair but also unwise because when one does that, they are devaluing themselves. They are believing and/or acting out that they are worth less than others.

    When it comes to needs vs. needs the only thing that I feel is wrong for sure is when one harms another to get one's own needs met. And I don’t think anyone should feel obligated to always choose to meet someone else’s needs in instances where only one or the other’s needs can be met. If they did, it would really show the other person that they care though. Like I said before the only obligation would be to not hurt people (unless of course you’re a nurse and you’re giving someone a shot or something of that nature.) And actually what I meant before when I said I would never place myself over my closest bonds is that I would never try to get my own needs/wants met at the expense of the other person or the relationship getting hurt.

    I just thought of something. Notice what we're talking about here. We're talking about sacrifice and Fe and Fi (because to choose to meet someone else’s needs at the expense of getting one’s own needs met is of course a sacrifice) but Fe does not automatically sacrifice. The way people here describe it here, it sounds like it automatically considers, not automatically sacrifices. Although it would be incorrect to say that every Fe individual is considerate of others. I know of some Fe individuals that are definitely not considerate of others. Of course that’s true of every type. There are inconsiderate jerkwads of every single type. There are also kindhearted considerate people of every type. So when it comes to how we treat people, functions have no relevance. Your type preferences will not determine whether you will be a considerate person or not. Perhaps certain types will have an easier time being sensitive to others but that does not mean that their opposing types will be heartless a-holes. Everybody is capable of being considerate.

    Those are my views.

    As for me personally. Have I sacrificed my own needs for my loved ones before? Yes. Hasn’t everyone?
    Am I a saint? HECK NO. Do I consider myself to be considerate? Generally yes. Can I be a strait up betch sometimes? Yes. Do I sacrifice my wants for my loved ones’ needs? Yes.

    There’s my two cents.
    I’m done now.

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