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  1. #391
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I don't know how to be clearer here. You said that an Fi dom would hold themselves to be more imporant than their dearest bonds and that's just not true. I know it from my own personal experience. Unhealthy Fi would put their own ego glorification above everyone and anything else in life I think, but this would not be the rule for all Fi, especially those who put love of others as part of their higher purpose.

    I would never put my own wants above the needs of a person I held to be dear and close to me.
    Same here, I would NEVER put myself above my closest bonds. EVER.

  2. #392
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    Same here, I would NEVER put myself above my closest bonds. EVER.
    Interesting. I wonder if people really mean it when they say that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  3. #393
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Absolute statements such as that are vague and make one consider the motive behind such a claim.

    A close bond is a relationship between the self and another. When you put a bond ahead of yourself, you vow to put all of your effort and resources into making the most beneficial choices for your relationship. The bond itself is a part of you, and you are a part of the bond. If you forfeit yourself for a bond, you're kidding yourself, as there can be no bond without you, and the weakening of "you" is a direct threat to the bond.

  4. #394
    heart on fire
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    When I say I would not put myself above a person I really care for, an intimate, I mean that I would never put my wants above their needs. It stands to reason that I would not sacrifice my needs for their wants however. That would be a form of suicide, soul murder that no healthy type would engage in I would think.

    Dana puts it well too saying that it is a vow to make the most beneficial choices for the bond.

  5. #395
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    I know heart, and that is probably what was intended to be communicated by Sunshine. (sorry sunshine)

    That is a great way of putting it: putting their needs above your wants. I think the human bond is the most beautiful thing on Earth (yeah, did someone ever say I was an INTP? better quote me. ) and to cherish it and to work for it provides a degree satisfaction met in few, if any, other ways.

  6. #396
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    I know heart, and that is probably what was intended to be communicated by Sunshine. (sorry sunshine)

    That is a great way of putting it: putting their needs above your wants. I think the human bond is the most beautiful thing on Earth (yeah, did someone ever say I was an INTP? better quote me. ) and to cherish it and to work for it provides a degree satisfaction met in few, if any, other ways.
    I agree. And I think this is the point where Fe and Fi break down if they're both healthy.

  7. #397
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    When I say I would not put myself above a person I really care for, an intimate, I mean that I would never put my wants above their needs. It stands to reason that I would not sacrifice my needs for their wants however. That would be a form of suicide, soul murder that no healthy type would engage in I would think.

    Dana puts it well too saying that it is a vow to make the most beneficial choices for the bond.
    Yeah. Same here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Interesting. I wonder if people really mean it when they say that.
    They do.

    Lol Kiddo why are you so surprised that people actually care about each other and are willing to put their loved ones' needs abover their wants?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    I know heart, and that is probably what was intended to be communicated by Sunshine. (sorry sunshine)
    Yeah that's what I meant

  8. #398
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    They do.

    Lol Kiddo why are you so surprised that people actually care about each other and are willing to put their loved ones' needs abover their wants?
    Oh, I'm not surprised about that at all. Now here is a question for you...

    Would you sacrifice your needs for the needs of others?

    It's one thing to distort the question by weighing it as "wants" versus "needs" but lets strip the rhetoric and see how it turns out.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  9. #399
    heart on fire
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    I have guilty of this crime of not using multi quote too.

  10. #400
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Sunshine, don't get sucked in!

    And ladies...:17026:

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