It can be a little difficult experiencing both at once.
I think a lot of my issues came from dealing with extremes of Fe, feeling pressure from others and also pressure from myself because my actions inadvertently impacted them and there was no way to extract myself from that web. Like it or not, our behavior impacts those who are part of our lives. Sometimes it hurts them, even if we're honoring other values that need to be honored.
But the Fi thing gives validity and confidence, as you said, to make choices for one's own life and honor oneself as well. There's a sense that the inner identify must be true if the external relationships are to be true as well, and that ultimately we are each responsible for our own lives regardless of how others behave. In the past, I think as soon as I got into a group context, I automatically was aware of myself through my awareness of how others perceived me; that really does screw with your head. Any sense of self was automatically jarred by other's perceptions, right or wrong, fair or unfair. The identity has to be stabilized within to some degree to withstand the pressures of external opinion.
(Obviously you still see me intellectualizing all of this. I approach it this way not necessarily because Fi is instinctive but because it seems fair and "makes sense" to me when I look at the big picture.)