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E vs. I statements

Lily flower

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I am wondering if this is an extrovert/introvert issue, or something else?

I have a close friend who will make statements like, "I never want to eat this kind of cheese again." I will try to remember never to serve them that cheese. Then later that same person will buy that kind of cheese and when I ask them, they say, "Well I just wasn't in the mood for it the day I said that."

I don't understand this. If I make a statement about something like that, it is a permanant statement. Otherwise I would say something like, "I'm not in the mood for this cheese today."

So do extroverts make statements that can change later, and introverts don't as much, or is this just maybe specific to this person?
 
G

Glycerine

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I do that and change my mind all the time but would be hesitant to label it as I vs. E. Haven't there been times where you really just didn't like something but had grown to like it?
 

lunalum

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If it is an E/I difference, it is probably closer to that extraverts overexaggerate things more, in order to get a stronger response from the other person.
 

Chiharu

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It could be a P/J difference... Js generally stick to their decisions where Ps tend to be more flexible...
 

animenagai

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It could be a P/J difference... Js generally stick to their decisions where Ps tend to be more flexible...

I agree. Not sure why the OP would see this as an E/I thing. Perhaps extroverts like to talk more, and tend to exaggerate because it gets more of a reaction? Just a guess.
 

Lily flower

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The person I know who does this is the biggest "J" you ever met. That's why I was thinking maybe it was E/I. It could have nothing to do with type, though.
 

INTP

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The person I know who does this is the biggest "J" you ever met. That's why I was thinking maybe it was E/I. It could have nothing to do with type, though.

does he also happen to be T? i could see ETJ making this sort of statements, naturally not all of them. strong judgment on the cheese from Te, but it doesent stay in introverted P, if he is lacking some Pi.
 

uncommonentity

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Maybe they're not intending you take everything they say to be literal but rather a figure of speech. Like a cat could pee on someone and they'd say that they hated cats. They don't necessarily mean they now hate every cat in the universe and maybe they'd find and adopt a cute one that doesn't pee on them the following week. I don't believe it's related to any letter in relation to type but rather the fact a lot of people stress things differently. It's much more of an issue in relation to grammar/speech/expression and the mutual understanding of what was said. You could perhaps elaborate on that and say that maybe an NT is more likely to assume that people should 'just know' what they mean than an NF who expresses how they feel. Reminds me of this.

20676211796571494946711.jpg


An NT is more likely to use their intuition and thought to jump to a conclusion that they indeed hate a cheese indefinitely but then may decide they should give it a chance and develop a taste for it. You'll find we never write anything completely off without thoroughly investigating it first. We can't thoroughly investigate something instantly because first impressions can be deceptive. Making a permanent, instant decision is considered dangerous to us. Look before you leap and all that only fools rush in stuff we have going on.
 

SilkRoad

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I think ExxPs are the most likely to make definitive-sounding statements which they then completely contradict by their behaviour or comments later. And IxxJs are the least likely. It's more like thinking out loud for the people who seem to change their mind easily - or maybe they do change their mind easily. I don't relate to it at all. But then, I'm not going to say ExxPs always do this and IxxJs never do.

I would suspect that extroverts are a bit more likely to think aloud and then change their mind, or whatever, than introverts, but it's probably more a J/P thing.

In any case I certainly have learned that a lot of what many people say is pretty much meaningless. I really mean, almost completely meaningless. You just have to keep an eagle eye on what they actually do... I have been burned many times in various ways by believing too much of what people say and not keeping a close enough eye on their actions.
 

Inverness

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If it is an E/I difference, it is probably closer to that extraverts overexaggerate things more, in order to get a stronger response from the other person.

I think I'd lean toward that conclusion as well, seems plausible and less rigid than a direct E vs. I comparison.
 

Santosha

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I think ExxPs are the most likely to make definitive-sounding statements which they then completely contradict by their behaviour or comments later. .

:yes:

Totally agree. I do this ALL the time. It is indeed an extroverted (combined with Perceiving?) trait. I am a walking contradiction and it drives those close IJ's to me bat shit crazy. I can't help it! As soon as that thought is thought, it is out my mouth. As soon as different information is taken in, stance changes.
 

SilkRoad

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:yes:

Totally agree. I do this ALL the time. It is indeed an extroverted (combined with Perceiving?) trait. I am a walking contradiction and it drives those close IJ's to me bat shit crazy. I can't help it! As soon as that thought is thought, it is out my mouth. As soon as different information is taken in, stance changes.

I have to be honest, I find people who do this a lot hard to trust...or at least I stop taking them seriously. I find myself thinking things like "oh well, the last several conclusive statements they made turned out to be total rubbish, I guess we'll just see what happens."

Although, I have felt this way more so if the person has kind of been using me as a sounding board and just bouncing stuff off me with no regard for the effect it might have on me... That's more a case of being a user, rather than type-related, I think (any type can be a user...). But if the user happens to be ExxP, wow. The overall effect can be colossally frustrating. :huh:

Is there a way around this? Should I be looking at things differently, or should the ExxP modify their behaviour a bit? ;)
 

lunalum

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Such Irony

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I am wondering if this is an extrovert/introvert issue, or something else?

I have a close friend who will make statements like, "I never want to eat this kind of cheese again." I will try to remember never to serve them that cheese. Then later that same person will buy that kind of cheese and when I ask them, they say, "Well I just wasn't in the mood for it the day I said that."

I don't understand this. If I make a statement about something like that, it is a permanant statement. Otherwise I would say something like, "I'm not in the mood for this cheese today."

So do extroverts make statements that can change later, and introverts don't as much, or is this just maybe specific to this person?

People like that drive me nuts. I like people to say what they mean and respond in a more predictable way.

It's probably more of a J/P thing than an E/I thing.

This thread is making me question my type again. :shrug:



I have to be honest, I find people who do this a lot hard to trust...or at least I stop taking them seriously. I find myself thinking things like "oh well, the last several conclusive statements they made turned out to be total rubbish, I guess we'll just see what happens."

Yeah, I feel the same way. I need more predictibility as to how others are likely to respond. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a person that was too much this way. I would feel unsure of where I stood with this person. I would also feel like the other person was letting me down or being dishonest with me even if it wasn't intentional. (example: I thought you really liked going to that restaurant- what happened??!!)

To be fair though, when it comes to it, I'm not totally consistent myself. My personal tastes do change with time. When conversing with others though, I rarely make absolute statements like the OP's example because I am well aware that my opinion could change later after gathering more info.
 

Xyk

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I make it a policy to take all words said by anyone with a grain of salt. It's worked out surprisingly well. For example, "I will definitely do this." means roughly "I will exert some sort of effort to make this happen, unless I forget."

Reading that back sounds really cynical. In all seriousness though, it's worked out wonderfully. I'm often pleasantly surprised and almost never negatively surprised. Puts a smile on my face.
 

Lady_X

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If it is an E/I difference, it is probably closer to that extraverts overexaggerate things more, in order to get a stronger response from the other person.

could be...we can be dramatic like that haha
 

Randomnity

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:yes:

Totally agree. I do this ALL the time. It is indeed an extroverted (combined with Perceiving?) trait. I am a walking contradiction and it drives those close IJ's to me bat shit crazy. I can't help it! As soon as that thought is thought, it is out my mouth. As soon as different information is taken in, stance changes.
That's probably the EP-like thing that irritates/bewilders me the most, other than saying you'll do something and not doing it, regardless of how many people that fucks over. I guess they're kinda the same thing actually.

I definitely see the extroverted connection - they seem to just say things without thinking, the more dramatic the better. Truth optional.
 

Redbone

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That's probably the EP-like thing that irritates/bewilders me the most, other than saying you'll do something and not doing it, regardless of how many people that fucks over. I guess they're kinda the same thing actually.

I definitely see the extroverted connection - they seem to just say things without thinking, the more dramatic the better. Truth optional.

Have to agree with the EP thing. My sister will say that she's never going to do such and such and this is the last time she's going to do _____________________. A few days later, "oh well, I just decided to go ahead and do it." It's kinda shocking to witness when it's something really serious or important but I've learned to just wait and see what she does versus what she says. It cuts down on disappointment and shock.
 

Qlip

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Hmmm you all may be onto something with the EP claim. I don't often make judgements exactly like this out loud. But, I find myself saying things that don't actually reflect my minset or thought. Yeah, this doesn't sound like it makes sense, but for me it's like trying a thought or opinion out to see if I like it or not. It puts me in a mindset to evaluate it, and of course it all sounds flaky as hell.
 

Santosha

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It's just the very nature of EP. There is nothing to change or do about it, accept understand and be tolerant, as we should with any function we don't use or understand. The very nature of E puts it into the external. The very nature of P takes in new info constantly.

I'm feel like something else should really be brought up here. The trust aspect. Just because EP's do this, does not make them "untrustworthy". It might make them zaney, unpredictable, contradictory, but many EP's have extremely well developed morals and thought systems. Infact, dare I say that when a P finally DOES take a strong stance on something I really listen up. This is because the P is infact looking deeply for the truth. They are constantly comparing it with new info, they examine every angle, they challenge it constantly. They don't just hold to something for the sake of closure. And in this respect, I trust P's quite a bit or atleast understand the value it took to get to there conclusion. .

Yet another reason that I trust P's.. they seem to handle being wrong better. Where as J's are more consistent, and they plan and strategize alot to NOT be wrong, but holy shit! When they are.. it's like EVERYTHING goes to hell. The sky falls on their face. It's scares me honestly, especially in close relations. I want to show them how to "just shift perspectives' but they cant! Or atleast its really difficult.

I thing that in some respects, E's can be more trustworthy as well. Simply because it's out there. You not only know where you stand with them as a whole, but from minute to minute if you want. There is not usually some crazy hidden agenda, or an inability to communicate a thought or feeling.

Anyhow, this isn't to say that EP's can't be highly fursterating, I'm sure we are. But consider all the other functions and behaviors that might appear very frusterating to us or anyone else. Tolerance and understanding is always the key. Should people have to alter their behavior? Not on a "right - wrong" spectrum. More so on a "What works and what doesn't" spectrum.
 
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