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  1. #11
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    They're the same thing? I'm pretty sure they are and no one is saying it's wrong to be selfish, it's just a fact of life. At some point or another we've been selfish. That's why I said an introverted function, not an introvert.
    The connotations of self absorbed and selfish are entirely different. Someone who is self absorbed focuses their attention on their own thoughts, interests, perspective, etc. Someone who is selfish puts their own needs ahead of those of others, regardless of the cost.

    While being self absorbed can lead to objectively selfish behavior (in the "being thoughtless" sense), one doesn't always translate to the other. It's equally possible to be thoughtlessly, shallowly selfish while being perfectly tuned into the world around oneself.

  2. #12
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    They're the same thing?
    What Seymour said.

    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    I'm pretty sure they are and no one is saying it's wrong to be selfish, it's just a fact of life. At some point or another we've been selfish.
    I didn't think selfishness was admirable to anyone. I imagine this means that you're neutral towards the act of selfishness? So you don't mind if you're on the receiving end of it. Fair enough.

    I agree though, that everyone has selfish moments, but whether or not it's a vice in someone depends on the temperament and/or how unhealthy one is.

    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    That's why I said an introverted function, not an introvert.
    But you said...

    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    So selfishness shouldn't be limited to the introvert, just an introverted function.
    You've clarified yourself now though, so nevermind.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

  3. #13
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by lane777 View Post
    What Seymour said.I didn't think selfishness was admirable to anyone. I imagine this means that you're neutral towards the act of selfishness? So you don't mind if you're on the receiving end of it. Fair enough.

    I agree though, that everyone has selfish moments, but whether or not it's a vice in someone depends on the temperament and/or how unhealthy one is.

    But you said...

    You've clarified yourself now though, so nevermind.
    It was clarified in the beginning, you just didn't read thoroughly enough.

    If it's inevitable why should anyone see it as a fault? Focusing on yourself is why you live today and why you still live today. That's my opinion.

    I won't quibble over definitions.

  4. #14
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    It was clarified in the beginning, you just didn't read thoroughly enough.
    I'm sorry if this is tiresome for you, but could you cut and paste it? I'd like to know what I missed.

    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    If it's inevitable why should anyone see it as a fault? Focusing on yourself is why you live today and why you still live today. That's my opinion.
    Because that's like saying, since feelings of anger, irritation, laziness, pride etc. are all inevitable - we never have to apologize for them. Imagine hurting a friend/SO and telling them, "It was inevitable," as though that should be good enough for them. If you can't admit to someone that losing your temper with them was wrong, you're basically saying to them that their hurt feelings aren't justified. That won't fly in any healthy relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    I won't quibble over definitions.
    It wasn't my intention to quibble over them. It needed to be clarified, or we would have been talking about two different things.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

  5. #15
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by lane777 View Post
    I'm sorry if this is tiresome for you, but could you cut and paste it? I'd like to know what I missed.



    Because that's like saying, since feelings of anger, irritation, laziness, pride etc. are all inevitable - we never have to apologize for them. Imagine hurting a friend/SO and telling them, "It was inevitable," as though that should be good enough for them. If you can't admit to someone that losing your temper with them was wrong, you're basically saying to them that their hurt feelings aren't justified. That won't fly in any healthy relationship.



    It wasn't my intention to quibble over them. It needed to be clarified, or we would have been talking about two different things.
    Sorry for my antagonizing tone. It just seemed that you were accusing me of something that I never said. You quoted it yourself a page back when I first mentioned that it should not be contained towards introversion, only introverted functions. That's all.

    As to the second paragraph. You're right.

    I'm not being very logical, I apologize.

  6. #16
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    Sorry for my antagonizing tone. It just seemed that you were accusing me of something that I never said. You quoted it yourself a page back when I first mentioned that it should not be contained towards introversion, only introverted functions. That's all.
    "That's why I said an introverted function, not an introvert." That was the sentence that clarified things for me But prior to that, you said "So selfishness shouldn't be limited to the introvert, just an introverted function." I think your use of the word "limited" is where our misunderstanding stems from.

    I didn't mean to come off accusatory I was only pointing out how those two sentences of yours slightly contradicted one another, to show you why I misunderstood you.

    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    As to the second paragraph. You're right.

    I'm not being very logical, I apologize.
    It happens to all of us no need to apologize.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

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