Strict/Harsh Upbringing = P?

[mrcockburn]

This is my theory anyway.

People raised in lax environments where they were able to make their own decisions become J's.

People raised strictly with impossible standards (with consequences if they failed to meet) become P's.

The former upbringing instills confidence, decisiveness, and assertiveness. The latter deprives the individual of the opportunity to exercise their own faculties and fosters a resentment towards authority/rules.

I notice this is true with most people I know from childhood. It's true for me - obviously my overzealous xNTJ stepfather (who, in middle/high school, *required* me to study each day and to get staight A's) didn't plan for me to end up ESFP.

 

[Antimony]

Mine was a mix of both, sort of. Probably more the latter. I am a P, but have always been that way. I think it has more to do with decision making than actual Pness or Jness.

 

[chickpea]

nah, both of my parents are P's and neither were strict.

 

[Xenon]

Not true of me at all. My ENTP dad fits that P description and was always big on rebelling against authority and encouraging me to think for myself (at least in theory, in practice he never believed I was demonstrating intelligent and independent thought unless I agreed with him on everything). My ISFJ mother had difficulty being assertive enough to set appropriate limits with her kids. My upbringing definitely falls into the "lax" variety, although it wasn't exactly a healthy, confidence-instilling sort of lax.

 

[Fluffywolf]

My parents were very strict in a sense but not in a bad way, me and my brother are both P. They never had much trouble with either of us.

My sister (the youngest) is J, they had their hands full with that one, I'd say they were the most strict with her, or at least had to show their strictness on a much regular basis.

 

[Xyk]

Nope. I'm a P and my parents were pretty chill. I should say "are" pretty chill. I also have two J siblings. My parents were stricter with my ENFJ older brother, and he turned out pretty J.

 

[Chiharu]

My parents were somewhat strict but I had many freedoms... and I'm a P. They were far stricter with my older brother, he's a J. I don't think it's as black and white as you're making it out to be...

 

[Mae]

Eh, my ISTJ parents were moderately strict and I definitely think that rebelling in my later teenage years was mostly due to my upbringing. But, I think I've always been a "P" regardless.

 

[ICUP]

Not true here either.
My parents were not strict at all, and had very low standards. Lower than I wanted......

 

[Red Herring]

Another P here raised by a strong P.

Maybe it is not so much about how strict your parents are (mine weren't, neither my ENTP mum nor my sort-of-mostly-absent INFJ dad) but about how much flexibility or adapting to your environment your environment demands of you. Nobody was ever strict with me but I was sort of eager to preemptively please, to do what i assumed was expeczed of me and adopt to my environment in order to not stick out too much if I could help it (need I say that didn't work out? At least I always felt like the odd one all my life). That demanded a good degree of flexibility and adaptability, positive P qualities, but also meant a lack of strength of will, self discipline and determination to hunt after personal goals - P weaknesses, I guess.

EDIT: My little sister is a ISFP (somewhat subborn, but a very non-abrasive, sweet person) and my brother, the youngest, is a J ...he was the most pampered of the three, basically grew up without much of a father to talk about and had to find his own way and identity as the junior and the only male in a house of women...and turned out an ENTJ.

 

[uncommonentity]

Parents don't have complete and utter control of how their children turn out. Somewhere along the line we make our own decisions and sprout into the adults we desire to be. I received zero discipline growing up and I had set my own rules. I could of easily become a wild child I just chose not to. It had nothing to do with my enviroment. I could of straight lit up a bong at age twelve if I thought it to be a good idea. I've also known many ISFJs/ESFJs with the most illogical, psychopathic parents known to man.

 

[rav3n]

Hey, I must be a P!!

 

[Thalassa]

No. P is determined by being Ne or Se in the dom/aux position, not by strict upbringing, or a harsh parent. I know more than one person with a harsh parent who is definitely SJ.

I think as a P, though, it created in me a sense of dependency to a degree, where I need to be "guided" or outwardly motivated by someone I trust to fully function on a schedule or anything, because left to my own devices completely I am always late, procrastinating, and generally living by my own internal clock. Can I take care of myself? Sure, of course. I've done it for much of my adult life. I can survive (cue Gloria Gaynor song) fer shure fer shure, I'm actually VERY independent and resourceful. But on the other hand I'd be lying if I said I didn't do a little better at holding my life together with a strong presence in my life, like an SJ boyfriend or something, no joke. I've been working from home for a while and I often have to be prompted to stay on a good work pace. I don't have the internal discipline (or even the desire) to force myself to do the same thing at the same exact time every day.

I was just talking to an ISTJ about this the other day, the effect of being raised by two strict SJs - one who was incredibly Te and overbearing and insanely structured - and being a P and just being kind of led along by it, and then later seeking someone to give me outer structure in my adult life.

I only play a femme domme on tv. IRL I need my daddy.

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

Hey, I must be a P!!

No kidding

 

[Anew Leaf]

This is my theory anyway.

People raised in lax environments where they were able to make their own decisions become J's.

People raised strictly with impossible standards (with consequences if they failed to meet) become P's.

The former upbringing instills confidence, decisiveness, and assertiveness. The latter deprives the individual of the opportunity to exercise their own faculties and fosters a resentment towards authority/rules.

I notice this is true with most people I know from childhood. It's true for me - obviously my overzealous xNTJ stepfather (who, in middle/high school, *required* me to study each day and to get staight A's) didn't plan for me to end up ESFP.

Interesting idea.

My parents were both of the NP species and I turned out P. (Lol, oh how I giggle as I write this.)

My dad's parents are both super J.

My mom's parents were J/P.

So... I guess I come out neutral in the wash since we all cancel each other out.

 

[cascadeco]

I don't really think this holds, given the fact that many families consist of siblings who are both J's and P's - both raised in the same environment.

 

[A window to the soul]

This is my theory anyway.

People raised in lax environments where they were able to make their own decisions become J's.

People raised strictly with impossible standards (with consequences if they failed to meet) become P's.

The former upbringing instills confidence, decisiveness, and assertiveness. The latter deprives the individual of the opportunity to exercise their own faculties and fosters a resentment towards authority/rules.

That couldn't be any farther from the truth. I was spanked into shape; as a result, I respect authority, myself, and my fellow man. I don't feel any resentments that I'm aware of and I do what I want; the difference is that I try not to cross the line into disrespecting people.

 

[A window to the soul]

My ENFJ sister had the same strict upbringing.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

That couldn't be any farther from the truth. I was spanked into shape; as a result, I respect authority, myself, and my fellow man. I don't feel any resentment that I'm aware of and I do what I want, I just try not to cross the line into disrespecting people.

Totally agree.

 

[Giggly]

My best guess is that this has more to do with weather or not you agreed with your parents and how they brought you up than whether or not they or you are a J or P. My parents are both Js and were quite old fashioned and stricter than all of my friends parents but I didn't disagree with them, and am a J (albeit on the boarder of J/P). My oldest sister who also agreed with my parents is also J. My other sister and my brother did not agree with my parents and they are both Ps. Make of that what you will.