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  1. #11
    Senior Member uncommonentity's Avatar
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    Parents don't have complete and utter control of how their children turn out. Somewhere along the line we make our own decisions and sprout into the adults we desire to be. I received zero discipline growing up and I had set my own rules. I could of easily become a wild child I just chose not to. It had nothing to do with my enviroment. I could of straight lit up a bong at age twelve if I thought it to be a good idea. I've also known many ISFJs/ESFJs with the most illogical, psychopathic parents known to man.
    Veni, Vidi, Cessi.

  2. #12
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Hey, I must be a P!!

  3. #13
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    No. P is determined by being Ne or Se in the dom/aux position, not by strict upbringing, or a harsh parent. I know more than one person with a harsh parent who is definitely SJ.

    I think as a P, though, it created in me a sense of dependency to a degree, where I need to be "guided" or outwardly motivated by someone I trust to fully function on a schedule or anything, because left to my own devices completely I am always late, procrastinating, and generally living by my own internal clock. Can I take care of myself? Sure, of course. I've done it for much of my adult life. I can survive (cue Gloria Gaynor song) fer shure fer shure, I'm actually VERY independent and resourceful. But on the other hand I'd be lying if I said I didn't do a little better at holding my life together with a strong presence in my life, like an SJ boyfriend or something, no joke. I've been working from home for a while and I often have to be prompted to stay on a good work pace. I don't have the internal discipline (or even the desire) to force myself to do the same thing at the same exact time every day.

    I was just talking to an ISTJ about this the other day, the effect of being raised by two strict SJs - one who was incredibly Te and overbearing and insanely structured - and being a P and just being kind of led along by it, and then later seeking someone to give me outer structure in my adult life.

    I only play a femme domme on tv. IRL I need my daddy.

  4. #14
    figsfiggyfigs
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    Hey, I must be a P!!
    No kidding

  5. #15
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    This is my theory anyway.

    People raised in lax environments where they were able to make their own decisions become J's.

    People raised strictly with impossible standards (with consequences if they failed to meet) become P's.

    The former upbringing instills confidence, decisiveness, and assertiveness. The latter deprives the individual of the opportunity to exercise their own faculties and fosters a resentment towards authority/rules.

    I notice this is true with most people I know from childhood. It's true for me - obviously my overzealous xNTJ stepfather (who, in middle/high school, *required* me to study each day and to get staight A's) didn't plan for me to end up ESFP. :p
    Interesting idea.

    My parents were both of the NP species and I turned out P. (Lol, oh how I giggle as I write this.)

    My dad's parents are both super J.

    My mom's parents were J/P.

    So... I guess I come out neutral in the wash since we all cancel each other out.

  6. #16
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    I don't really think this holds, given the fact that many families consist of siblings who are both J's and P's - both raised in the same environment.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    This is my theory anyway.

    People raised in lax environments where they were able to make their own decisions become J's.

    People raised strictly with impossible standards (with consequences if they failed to meet) become P's.

    The former upbringing instills confidence, decisiveness, and assertiveness. The latter deprives the individual of the opportunity to exercise their own faculties and fosters a resentment towards authority/rules.
    That couldn't be any farther from the truth. I was spanked into shape; as a result, I respect authority, myself, and my fellow man. I don't feel any resentments that I'm aware of and I do what I want; the difference is that I try not to cross the line into disrespecting people.

  8. #18
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    My ENFJ sister had the same strict upbringing.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    That couldn't be any farther from the truth. I was spanked into shape; as a result, I respect authority, myself, and my fellow man. I don't feel any resentment that I'm aware of and I do what I want, I just try not to cross the line into disrespecting people.
    Totally agree.

  10. #20
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    My best guess is that this has more to do with weather or not you agreed with your parents and how they brought you up than whether or not they or you are a J or P. My parents are both Js and were quite old fashioned and stricter than all of my friends parents but I didn't disagree with them, and am a J (albeit on the boarder of J/P). My oldest sister who also agreed with my parents is also J. My other sister and my brother did not agree with my parents and they are both Ps. Make of that what you will.

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