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  1. #11
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    I tend to think "Bill made me angry because he's WRONG (or he's a prick, et al)."

    I tend to already know exactly *why* I'm angry. I don't have to ponder it. It's visceral, almost, but not only visceral, because I'm so aware of what my values are that only a BIG VALUE can make me angry. If it's something minor I'm not going to get angry. But anything that feels like a ridiculous personal attack (like I hate when people accuse me of doing something I didn't do, or say that I'm something that I'm not, especially if what they're accusing me of goes against my core values) or it goes against something I see as WRONGITY WRONG, that's why I'm angry.

    I already know.

    But what I think about later is WHY Bill said what he did. When I calm down, I seek answers to what Bill's side of the story is, and may contemplate that over a period of minutes, hours, days, or weeks (depending on how much Bill means to me and what exactly transpired).

    I already know how I feel and why I feel it. My rational process comes later in questioning the motives and positions of other people in the grand scheme of things, and how this all applies to reality.

  2. #12
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I tend to think "Bill made me angry because he's WRONG (or he's a prick, et al)."

    I tend to already know exactly *why* I'm angry. I don't have to ponder it. It's visceral, almost, but not only visceral, because I'm so aware of what my values are that only a BIG VALUE can make me angry. If it's something minor I'm not going to get angry. But anything that feels like a ridiculous personal attack (like I hate when people accuse me of doing something I didn't do, or say that I'm something that I'm not, especially if what they're accusing me of goes against my core values) or it goes against something I see as WRONGITY WRONG, that's why I'm angry.

    I already know.

    But what I think about later is WHY Bill said what he did. When I calm down, I seek answers to what Bill's side of the story is, and may contemplate that over a period of minutes, hours, days, or weeks (depending on how much Bill means to me and what exactly transpired).

    I already know how I feel and why I feel it. My rational process comes later in questioning the motives and positions of other people in the grand scheme of things, and how this all applies to reality.
    I second this post
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  3. #13
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    For Fi doms, do you take time to hammer out your values before you know what they are? Or are you like Marm + other Fi secondaries and just know it?
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  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by King-Of-Despair View Post
    For Fi doms, do you take time to hammer out your values before you know what they are? Or are you like Marm + other Fi secondaries and just know it?
    I second this question. There might be a difference similar to the ENTP vs. INTP difference.

    Any IxFP around?

  5. #15
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King-Of-Despair View Post
    For Fi doms, do you take time to hammer out your values before you know what they are? Or are you like Marm + other Fi secondaries and just know it?
    I don't know that I spend time consciously working out values the way a philosopher might... it's more like I'm continually trying to optimize my actions to be in line with what's important. Over time, those alignments kind of aggregate into values. When things are in conflict or out of harmony, it can be almost physically painful. This means that one tends to devote some intellectual and emotional resources to resolving (or more avoidantly escaping) those conflicts. Sometimes a big conflict may require some real struggle to clarify what's more important, or how to resolve a situation with no good resolutions.

    Fi doms also tend to pay attention to the small stuff, since being conflicted even in small ways shows up on one's emotional barometer. However, we can also be somewhat future blind, where we optimize for the present, not seeing that we are leading ourselves down the primrose path towards disaster.

    In any case, the state that we seem to each for (and never achieve) is one in which one's actions are in line with one's values, and those values harmonize with each other. Ideally that state resonates all the way to one's core, and that leaves one's emotional vision clear to truly see and experience one's own truth and the truth of those around oneself.

    In real life that's never possible, and we learn to live with extended periods of conflict and (at least partially) compromised values.

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