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  1. #41
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Strengths:

    • Making people feel comfortable.
    • Deep understanding and love for people.
    • Leadership skills.
    • Seeing the good and what's possible in any situation.
    • Strive for win-win solutions.
    • Good at motivating and inspiring others.
    • Great interpersonal skills.
    • Dependable.
    • Outgoing and very friendly .


    Weaknesses:

    • Melodramatic.
    • Can be over sensitive.
    • Can come across as aloof when bored or uninterested.
    • I wear my heart on my sleeve.
    • Can have an explosive temper, but it takes a lot to get that point!
    • Can be too trusting or too involved.
    • Standoffish towards people I don't care for much.
    • Tendency to take things too personally .
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  2. #42
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Good at:
    - listening
    - showing empathy
    - being honest in a nice way
    - making people feel at ease
    - making sure I don't offend or upset anyone

    Bad at:
    - initiating conversation
    - being talkative or bubbly
    - showing enthusiasm
    - arranging get-togethers
    - consoling

  3. #43
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Ah, I was thinking about things along these lines over the weekend, although I came to a bit of a different conclusion than the OP - I decided over the weekend that my enneagram plays a MUCH stronger role in my socialization ability/how I come across than my mbti type.

    I compare myself to my INFJ friend, who is one of the most talkative people I know, who can talk about anything and everything, and who doesn't seem to have any social self-consciousness. She talks about herself a lot, and can monopolize conversation. (On the spectrum of E/I, she says as she's gotten older she's become more comfortable and isn't an extreme I like I am. lol. But anyway, she IS an I.) She's also an e2 so.

    Compare her to myself (an e5 sp), and socially, it's almost like we're from different planets - even though cognitively we think about/approach things in the same way. We just appear quite different. I would be/am completely overshadowed by her irl. And socially she's MUCH more skilled than I. I'd sum it up as: she's great at getting other people to know who SHE is, in conjunction to who they are & building on that conversation and relationship; I'm great at getting to know who OTHER people are, but other people don't have any idea who I am - thus I'm not in essence building a relationship.

    My strengths? I think I'm very good at HEARING people, and good at getting other people to talk/share of themselves. Making people feel that I acknowledge their existence and I want to get to know them. I may pointedly direct my attention to someone who's not talking (say if we're in a group), ask something of them, listen. Create those little 1:1 moments - more personalized. That's really my only way of 'connecting' to people -- in a 1:1 way, briefly, snatching those opportunities. And I get the sense that people don't get this often... almost that they're not even 'acknowledged' or understood in this way by their own family or their own S.O... there's just something in the eye contact/ way they respond that gives me the sense that they aren't often HEARD by anyone.

    I'm also pretty good at the 1-liner comments / summations. That's my other 'role' in groups. I don't talk at length or espouse my opinions, but I'll be the insert-random-but-relevant-humor-or-comment girl.

    My weaknesses? Basically... that I am so quiet and that I really should NOT be in any formal chit-chatty/non-activity-based group setting; I am not only usually uncomfortable, but I end up wondering the entire time what purpose there is for my being there because I pretty much only operate, verbally, in a 1:1 way and I don't speak to groups, so I'm quiet/a lump the entire time. I feel REALLY deficient in group social settings. BUT conversely, I also 'navigate' them in the sense that I'm able to read the overall group well and also can tell when individuals in the group are uncomfortable/offended/what have you. I get the sense that I'm well-liked, and I can get along with people, but I'm socially retarded when it comes to talking, and my introversion very easily dips into the realm of being unhealthy -- the whole e5 sp thing. I'm so accustomed to being in my own head that I 'forget' to get out of it sometimes.

    I'm also pretty selective with the people I am interested in, so beyond initial inquiries/chatting, will tend to disengage quickly if I realize I don't care for someones' personality or we have absolutely nothing in common.

    Other weakness: inability to provide a succinct bullet point list in this thread.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  4. #44
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
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    Jun 2010
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    5w4 sp/sx
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    +

    - good listener
    - non judgemental
    - calming effect, putting people at ease
    - ability to show an interest in whatever moves the other person at the moment
    - can be very caring

    -

    - bad at maintaining contact (too passive)
    - bad at bonding with people I don't have much in common with
    - bad at small talk (feels awkward)
    - often oblivious to etiquette
    The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Neither love without knowledge, nor knowledge without love can produce a good life. - Bertrand Russell
    A herring's blog
    Johari / Nohari

  5. #45
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    For me...



    Pro's
    - great one-on-one
    - good listener, good at feedback w/o seeming critical; safe and engaging
    - solid in small talk [hard-won skill]
    - can sometimes be fun at parties
    - very open in e-mail
    - can articulate sympathy/empathy
    - stay calm when others are not
    - can sense where the other person is at (or understand their perspective) and meet them there
    - aware of social expectations at play

    Con's
    - can't salvage/carry the conversation if the other person is not responding
    - can sometimes be a withdrawn deadbeat at parties
    - bad at maintenance / phone calls / visits
    - awkward/anxious at physical/emotional sympathy; have trouble relating outside of the "verbal/rational" sphere
    - bad at caring for other's practical needs
    - disappear without warning when exhausted / can seem reclusive
    - have trouble relaying when I'm being violated / let down in some way
    - deal poorly with clingy/needy or aggressive/angry people
    - can't engage stupidity or rudeness very long
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #46
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    For me...



    Pro's
    - great one-on-one
    - good listener, good at feedback w/o seeming critical; safe and engaging
    - solid in small talk [hard-won skill]
    - can sometimes be fun at parties
    - very open in e-mail
    - can articulate sympathy/empathy
    - stay calm when others are not
    - can sense where the other person is at (or understand their perspective) and can, if needed meet them there
    - aware of social expectations at play

    Con's
    - can't salvage/carry the conversation if the other person is not responding
    - can sometimes be a withdrawn deadbeat at parties
    - bad at maintenance / phone calls / visits
    - awkward/anxious at physical/emotional sympathy; have trouble relating outside of the "verbal/rational" sphere
    - bad at caring for other's practical needs
    - disappear without warning when exhausted / can seem reclusive
    - have trouble relaying when I'm being violated / let down in some way
    - deal poorly with clingy/needy or aggressive/angry people
    - can't engage stupidity or rudeness very long
    - is not very good at describing himself using the right words when talking about his social aspect.

    Also, I am thankful for @Jennifer for doing all the work on making this post for me, didn't have to revise much at all for myself.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  7. #47
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Also, I am thankful for Jennifer for doing all the work on making this post for me, didn't have to revise much at all for myself.
    I'll send you the bill for my services later in the week.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #48
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I'll send you the bill for my services later in the week.
    I only accept personal deliveries.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  9. #49
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    I started making my list, and realized several items were not actually skills, but motivations. Leaving those out:

    Good at:
    - respecting personal diversity and not judging others by appearance, stereotype, etc.
    - controlling my temper and rarely speaking or acting in anger, no matter how emotional others get
    - teaching and mentoring; I can be extraordinarily patient when someone is really trying to learn, however slow their progress
    - public speaking and professional meeting formalities
    - being a good host (legacy of ESFJ mother)


    Bad at:
    - judging people harshly on more relevant/substantive grounds
    - recreational gatherings of > 10 people, especially when I don't know most of them
    - saying too little because the topic seems boring/irrelevant (aloof/awkward); and then saying too much once a good topic comes up (intense/pedantic)
    - like Fluffywolf, have trouble relating outside of the "verbal/rational" sphere
    - avoidant, of the phone, of large gatherings, of unnecessary interactions with strangers
    Last edited by Coriolis; 08-09-2011 at 09:30 AM. Reason: put a "bad" in the "good" list in error
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  10. #50
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    People open up to me. Don't know why... They're confused themselves at times, but it makes me feel fuzzy on the inside. It is an honor to learn such deep secrets.

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