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  1. #31
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    I am generally good at understanding general social conventions and behaviours and determining quickly whether I'll be able to communicate with someone or should ignore them. I tend to be good at deducing how someone will react as well.

    However, I am not good at making a good first impression, communicating properly and taking into consideration the feelings of other people even when I anticipate a reaction, I tend to fail at not provoking it.
    I also take many things literally which infuriates people who think I am making fun of them or being picky about the meanings of things, they also think I'm playing stupid to irritate everyone. I can use sarcasm but often miss jokes and it leads to conflict.
    I'm face blind and inattentive, sometimes Ijust don't see my friends in the streets or recognise them so people think I just don't care about them.

    I'm pretty bad at using the theory I have in my head.

    Not sure it's an iNTP thing though, perhaps because I'm too young.
    Feel no shame for what you are...

    INTP
    5w4 or 5w6 sp/so

  2. #32
    Supreme High Commander Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blankpages View Post
    It's funny how a lot of introverts rank the phone as their least favourite communication method (and I do, as well). In terms of maintaining distance and limiting non-verbal cues, it's in between face-to-face communication and the newer forms of text communication (chatting/email/foruming/texting), but somehow it's more uncomfortable than both.
    That's certainly an interesting observation and question. Perhaps it has something to do with projecting ones self, by which I mean making ones presence felt/getting a messsage across. It a text conversation it isn't necessary, as your thoughts are made plain to anyone who takes the time to read them, and face to face there all sorts of visual clues like body language and hand guestures tha can be used. However, all you have oveer the phone is your voice, and often you are required to speak at excessive volume just to be heard at all.

    thoughts anyone?
    Don't make whine out of sour grapes.

  3. #33
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    Good:
    -Talking to people I know quite well
    -Making shy people feel comfortable
    -Avoiding conflicts, intermediating
    -Truly interested in people
    -Good at listening

    Bad:
    -Starting a conversation
    -Meeting and talking to someone I don't know
    -Dealing with people with disabilities
    -I don't give a strong first impression
    -I may be verbally bitchy when I'm not happy

  4. #34
    Senior Member uncommonentity's Avatar
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    I adapt to everyone. You can't expect everyone to enjoy the taste of apples so bring a banana. I give what I get.
    Veni, Vidi, Cessi.

  5. #35
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Good-

    making people feel included (even introverts! )
    striking up conversations with strangers
    finding something interesting in everyone I meet
    remembering stuff about people I talk to so that they feel special when I talk to them the next time
    cheering people up and helping to fix their problems

    Bad-

    listening to someone bitch WITHOUT trying to fix their problems
    I speak without thinking first and therefore inadvertently offend the sensitive from time to time
    I'm an abysmal failure at shutting up
    I suck at maintaining contact with anyone
    can be rather defensive if criticized
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  6. #36
    Senior Member jimrckhnd's Avatar
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    One of the social blunders I committ all the time is forgetting peoples names. I've heard over and over that is an idicator you don't care or aren't interested, that succesful people are good at remembering names, etc., etc..

    However, I remember faces for years and very often recall settings and conversations in great detail. I suppse this says something but what is another question.
    Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups

  7. #37
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimrckhnd View Post
    One of the social blunders I committ all the time is forgetting peoples names. I've heard over and over that is an idicator you don't care or aren't interested, that succesful people are good at remembering names, etc., etc..

    However, I remember faces for years and very often recall settings and conversations in great detail. I suppse this says something but what is another question.
    I remember all kinds of details about people... except for their names, which I can never remember

    the remembering things like that their child is just starting high school and that they raise German Shepherds tends to somewhat cover for the name thing though
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #38
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    My social skills are quite good overall. I generally remember names on first or second mention. If I don't remember it the first time, I then just say, "I'm sorry, I didn't hold on to your name the first time." People are happy to oblige and I usually repeat my own name in the same interaction, (just in case.) I pride myself in this ability most of the time, but some of the time I find myself a little creepy with the name face memory there. Some people may not even remember my face the first time and there I am walking up to them in the grocery story like "Hi Molly, how are ya?"

    Good: Normally smiling, extroverted, friendly mannerisms.
    Usually approachable.
    Accepting of a lot of different types of people, can easily make new friends.
    Easily relatable to a lot of folks, understanding
    Good 1 on 1- (usually good in groups- not always, though.)
    Good at reading other people, can get them to open up quickly.


    Bad:
    Can't keep up with acquaintances.
    Bad listener sometimes/ interrupt people when their talking/ centering conversation on myself.
    Sometimes in groups when I'm tired or have something going on, I can't stay afloat- I get a blank and quiet affect and resort to my own thoughts- I can't be fake. Wear my heart on my face.
    Can be a little harsh and snippy under pressure.
    Self centered.
    Don't like inviting people over and having parties in my house. I want to protect my house from intruders. Only very close people are okay in my house. I hate it when people enter my room without knocking, even if the door is open, to see my dog or something. I also hate it when my roommate, (or in the past, any housemates), have a lot of company. Sometimes I like to visit with the company, but sometimes I don't, because in my house, I am busy. I think people find this unusual given my normal personality.

    Current label: ENFP 7w6, 4w5, and 9w8. sx/sp.

    Story time! A few weeks ago I went to a friend's 30th birthday bash. It was a night out in the city. I walked in, and there were 8 people sitting there, only 3 whom I knew. I was introduced to everybody- most with non american names. 2 Japanese girls, a Chinese girl, a girl from a small country in Africa, and an American male. So, I got the names, and then another girl walked in, (who I knew), and got the names, and said "I'm not going to remember a single one of them." And I go, "Are you kidding me?" And quickly listed all the names at the table- and jokingly, "you can't remember that?" A couple of jaws dropped at the table.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Good at:

    -Listening/being someone's therapeutic sock puppet
    -Not passing judgement
    -Being patient with people who like to hog conversation
    -Creating non-awkward silences with other introverts
    -Not arguing
    -Keeping secrets and personal information
    -Helping people think of the positives, however small
    -Being a low-maintenance group member
    -Being generally nice and occasionally incredibly kind

    Bad at:

    -Not arguing
    -Not being assertive enough to speak my thoughts
    -Expressing personal opinions and feelings (it's like pulling teeth with me)
    -Keeping in touch with people in general
    -Forgetting details about people
    -Taking an interest in the minutia of most co-workers/acquaintance's lives
    -Keeping conversations going
    -Keeping an explanation from becoming circular
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  10. #40
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    Strengths:
    - polite interactions with others
    - sympathy towards others
    - great with children
    - keeping secrets
    - when reading aloud to a group, excellent with inflection and captivating an audience
    - keeping the peace with a group
    - one on one conversations
    - reading people

    Weaknesses:
    - speaking up
    - distant in communication
    - shyness
    - self-conscious
    - nervous in communication
    - paying attention to exactly what a person is saying, rather than what they might mean
    - going from one extreme of desiring creative control of a project to passively letting others in the group decide what they should do in the project
    - dampening my enthusiasm for things by appearing stoic so then I don't get hurt
    - getting monotone and when I don't have someone's attention, I just drop off from talking
    - spitting the information out and getting it out of my brain
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




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