Type my son

[Thalassa]

Your constant stereotyping me as a stereotyper is ridiculous. Furthermore, you never offered a guess as to the kid's type until now, you were completely off topic the entire time.

That's because I can't let you mislead poor Lily with bullshit about her son's IQ. You're horrible at typing people, your methods are obtuse (all SJs are religious in some way?) and of course you do realize that I'm actually an Ne dom, right?

 

[Thalassa]

Your constant stereotyping me as a stereotyper is ridiculous. Furthermore, you never offered a guess as to the kid's type until now, you were completely off topic the entire time.

That's because I can't let you mislead poor Lily with bullshit about her son's IQ. You're horrible at typing people, your methods are obtuse (all SJs are religious in some way?) and of course you do realize that I'm actually an Ne dom, right?

 

[InvisibleJim]

I don't have to care what other people think unless they offer valid arguments. Yes Jim is right, sometimes IQ tests mess up. But for some reason he disagreed with lily's idea that her son has Asperger's. Many of those cases are misdiagnosed when they are children, but it has been replaced with a different diagnosis these days: high-functioning autism. I've known a couple respectable scientists who started out in life as misunderstood low-achievers with undiagnosed Asperger's.

I could at the drop of the hat test as a borderline aspie, not because of social inhibition but because of what I value and how. Luckily I came from an SFJ mother household with a very male environment and therefore me (and my brothers) very techno-geeky preferences were not viewed as 'bad' but we were left to develop and do as we required rather than pretending to do what we did not enjoy to keep the piece. Both myself and my brother live totally normal lives, her son just appears very similar in what he enjoys and why. The reason others are identifying it as 'aspie' is because it isn't company-cat behaviour.

Labels are dumb and I wouldn't throw them around because if you can use the label you can apply a different label that is more suiting to your experience.

Occams Razor.

This is merely the behaviour of a mathematically and technically minded individual.

Yes, but isn't it just a function of how he scored relative to other children his age based on a bell curve?

No, there is not a unique IQ curve for children. You see the problem?

 

[Riva]

His tested IQ is 91. We were very surprised because our family tends to have high IQ's in general. I never heard that about babies and IQ. Do you happen to remember where you heard/read that? I would be interested in finding out more about that.

Babies do tend to have lower IQ. And for a 10 year old to have an IQ of 100 is quite good. I am 23 and mine is only 132. IQ has nothing to do with getting good grades though. from what I have noticed students with the best grades are the ones with average IQs. And IQ is a poor way of testing someone's capacity. And it is unfair to subject a 10 year old kid in to one. And I object kids being subjected to tests such as these and ranks. It would only make them feel inadequate. And it is unfair.

And for your information I know students my age with IQs in to their 150s who are total losers when it comes to anything useful, such as getting good grades or accomplishing anything. IQ has nothing to with with one's abilities.

 

[InvisibleJim]

Babies do tend to have lower IQ. And for a 10 year old to have an IQ of 100 is quite good. I am 23 and mine is only 132. IQ has nothing to do with getting good grades though. from what I have noticed students with the best grades are the ones with average IQs. And IQ is a poor way of testing someone's capacity. And it is unfair to subject a 10 year old kid in to one. And I object and kids being subjest to tests such as these and ranks. It would only make them feel in adequate. And it is unfair.

And for your information I know students my age with IQs in to their 150s who are total losers when it comes to anything useful, such as getting good grades or accomplishing anything. IQ has nothing to with with one's abilities.

Only 132... *rolls on floor laughing* 'I'm only in the top 20% of the population..'

 

[Mal12345]

I could at the drop of the hat test as a borderline aspie, not because of social inhibition but because of what I value and how. Luckily I came from an SFJ mother household with a very male environment and therefore me (and my brothers) very techno-geeky preferences were not viewed as 'bad' but we were left to develop and do as we required rather than pretending to do what we did not enjoy to keep the piece. Both myself and my brother live totally normal lives, her son just appears very similar in what he enjoys and why. The reason others are identifying it as 'aspie' is because it isn't company-cat behaviour.

Labels are dumb and I wouldn't throw them around because if you can use the label you can apply a different label that is more suiting to your experience.

Occams Razor.

This is merely the behaviour of a mathematically and technically minded individual.

Lily stated above she believes that the description at an Asperger's page sounds like her son. Someone else, perhaps you, advised her to forget about that. However, if a student needs to be in an IEP program at school, then I'm afraid a label is a definite requirement. Such a "label" is called a "diagnosis."
A "label" got my step-daughter through high school. Without that "label" she would have been treated like every other student, and she would not have graduated.

And if it wasn't for "labels," this forum wouldn't exist.

No, there is not a unique IQ curve for children. You see the problem?

This last did not appear in your post until I replied to it. I haven't looked into the issue of children and their IQ curves.

 

[Mal12345]

Babies do tend to have lower IQ. And for a 10 year old to have an IQ of 100 is quite good. I am 23 and mine is only 132. IQ has nothing to do with getting good grades though. from what I have noticed students with the best grades are the ones with average IQs. And IQ is a poor way of testing someone's capacity. And it is unfair to subject a 10 year old kid in to one.

Then I regret to inform you that IQ tests are commonly given to pre-grade school children.

 

[Mal12345]

That's because I can't let you mislead poor Lily with bullshit about her son's IQ. You're horrible at typing people, your methods are obtuse (all SJs are religious in some way?) and of course you do realize that I'm actually an Ne dom, right?

Babies who are difficult to calm down have lower IQ. Some here have mentioned that IQ can increase with age, and I'm ok with that.

 

[Riva]

Then I regret to inform you that IQ tests are commonly given to pre-grade school children.

And I am so very glad that where I come from is not the same.

 

[InvisibleJim]

Lily stated above she believes that the description at an Asperger's page sounds like her son. Someone else, perhaps you, advised her to forget about that. However, if a student needs to be in an IEP program at school, then I'm afraid a label is a definite requirement. Such a "label" is called a "diagnosis."
A "label" got my step-daughter through high school. Without that "label" she would have been treated like every other student, and she would not have graduated.

And if it wasn't for "labels," this forum wouldn't exist.

This last did not appear in your post until I replied to it. I haven't looked into the issue of children and their IQ curves.

So therefore you have decided to advocate labels to other peoples children via the medium of a typology forum. Are you a trained psychological practitioner?

Babies who are difficult to calm down have lower IQ. Some here have mentioned that IQ can increase with age, and I'm ok with that.

In shocking obviousness children who are disinterested score lower in boring tests. So do disinterested adults.

 

[Thalassa]

Babies who are difficult to calm down have lower IQ. Some here have mentioned that IQ can increase with age, and I'm ok with that.

IQ tests are a measurement of a particular type of intelligence, not all intelligence, and mistakes can be made. BABIES WHO ARE HARDER TO CALM DOWN HAVE LOWER IQs?

I'm with Riva. I think our culture's obsession with standardized testing is fucking sick, just like timing first graders on how fast they can read.

 

[Riva]

I'm with Riva. I think our culture's obsession with standardized testing is fucking sick, just like timing first graders on how fast they can read.

Thank you. these types of tests are okay to be given to adults whom have the choice of knowing how to interpret them, taking them if they only want to or even not taking them. But kids don't know how to interpret them. They are helpless and they don't have the luxury of even Not Taking them. If they are asked to do it, they have to do it. Urghhh!

And timing 1st graders on how fast they can read? That's just SICK!

 

[Elfboy]

Yes, but isn't it just a function of how he scored relative to other children his age based on a bell curve?

no. Albert Eintstein and Thomas Edison, both well above genius intelligence, scored terribly on school intelligence tests. in both cases their school teachers thought they were borderline retarded

 

[Lex Talionis]

no. Albert Eintstein and Thomas Edison, both well above genius intelligence, scored terribly on school intelligence tests. in both cases their school teachers thought they were borderline retarded

Pure myth. Provide one reliable source.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I vote INTJ also. I'm thinking Ni-dom child over Ti-dom.

For comparison, here are some traits of each (the Ni traits remind me more of how you describe your son):

Ni-dom As Children:
- The development of this type is slower and more difficult than that of most other people
- Have something about them as spontaneous as the Ne type; but it is, both in form and expression, more bizarre, and less intelligible, owing to their perceptions being less explicable from external conditions
- Not very yielding to influence from their environment
- May have periods of uncertainty and reserve, after which they suddenly become very determined
- If they are opposed, they may manifest an astonishing self-will and obstinacy
- Frequently moody
- Occasionally brilliant and original
- Reserved, stubborn and arrogant

Ti-dom As Children:
- Often reserved, somewhat timid and uncertain
- Seem to not feel at home in the world
- Will manifest an obstinate, somewhat pedantic decisiveness
- They have not the cool logicality of the Te type, but take up a more fanatical stand
- May easily degenerate into dogmatism and extreme pedantry
- Learn at an early age that while they may inwardly regard something as true, others may not accept it

 

[Poconos3]

High Functioning Autism

 

[InvisibleJim]

High Functioning Autism

Another experienced clinical psychologist has come to deliver their overwhelmingly well thought through conclusion to a problem to which they had all of the required data and based upon previous experience...

 

[Little Linguist]

My husband and I are very concerned about our 10 year old son. He has several learning issues and he doesn't seem to enjoy or want many friends. He also is grumpy a great deal of the time. We don't know if we should be concerned about him - ie take him to counseling. Since he has been this way his whole life, I am wondering if it is just his natural personality. So I thought understanding his type might be useful. I have my own guess, but I would like to hear from others.

He has never enjoyed physical affection.
He is a great strategist. Even though he does poorly on most school work, he can beat adults at games like chess and Risk.
He is very skeptical about commercials and people telling him things in general. He tends to think that people are liars.
He complains about being bored constantly, but doesn't have any specific interests.
He enjoys camping/fishing type activities, board games and video games (he especially likes the games that have you build a medieval castle and village and then attack other castles).
He doesn't seem to have compassion or understanding of other people's feelings, but occasionally he will strongly defend someone who is being bullied or picked on or being treated unjustly.
He loves to argue/debate.
He tends to avoid any type of work, but will work really had to get a reward he wants or to get money to buy a video game.
He has a very strong reaction to smells and noise.
When he was a baby, the only thing that would calm him down was if I sang to him. He wasn't calmed down by rocking or being held like other babies.

Any thoughts?

Damn, sounds similar to me as a kid, just more extreme.

 

[InvisibleJim]

Damn, sounds similar to me as a kid, just more extreme.

Te and Fi are foreign to Fe and Ti. Worse with this Se inferior and the accompanying hypersensitivity to stimuli such as smell and the according need for the kid to keep his head and physical distance from people.

 

[Lily flower]

I'd go with INTJ. No, his IQ isn't 90, but an IQ test actually has to be "interesting" to actually measure that. No 90-IQ kid is going to beat adults at chess.

I'd say he is very, very bored with school. So was I. School at that age, for me, was torture. I'd procrastinate on the homework. I'd get D's and C's in the really boring classes like "Social Studies." Even the stuff that was interesting was only marginally so. Math was still mechanical memorization. Science was "Oh, look, cool, dinosaurs," and regurgitating scientific "facts." Then there was the social aspect, where no one at that age was anything like me, so ostracization was the order of the day.

And what happened to me? I grew up and got a Ph.D. in physics.

Most of the "problems" you note are a result of being a very smart kid who has little in common with his peers, and not even that much in common with the adults in his life. He's stuck trying to figure everything out for himself, because no one in his life can explain things to him in his terms.

(I was lucky that my parents were N's, INFJ mom, INTP dad, but even then, they didn't really get me all the time, and were worried just as you are about your kid. My brother was a wild child who had to be reigned in with curfews and such, but in my case, when they learned I had a date for the prom in high school, they were so relieved that they helped pay for everything and weren't upset that I stayed out til 7 AM the next morning ...)

I wouldn't go with a diagnosis of asperger's, at least not yet. He seems perfectly capable of figuring things out, eventually, but he's only 10 years old. Most kids his age have the reassurance that there are others in the world that understand them. No one, except maybe a fellow NTJ or a wise NFP will really be able to connect with him in a way that "clicks."

I would suggest you try the route of books, because that's the one place I found solace. Books didn't talk down to me or pester me about not fitting in with the crowd. Books would explain things to me that other people just wouldn't (more likely couldn't) explain. I remember fondly books about the planets and stars, the weather, nuclear energy (yes, a kid's book, which gave me a good foundation in how a chain reaction works, around age 10). I also liked fiction if it were about something weird/fantastic, like aliens or telekinesis. I fondly remember Madeleine L'Engle's "A Wrinkle in Time." I also enjoyed reading the manual to my programmable calculator ... which gave me a rudimentary understanding of trigonometry around age 9. [I couldn't do fancy math, but I knew that sin(angle) would tell me "how high" something is when it is going around in circles.]

Aim for books that you suspect might be "above" his level - they probably aren't. Let him choose the books: run by the section of the bookstore that has topics in which he has expressed interest and let him choose something cool. Or, even cheaper, if he asks one of those weird-ass questions (I know you didn't mention any, but I bet he does!), offer to look it up on wikipedia together. Mostly, just listen for anything he's interested in and encourage that exploration, so long as you deem it appropriate.

Let him be weird. I think he'll surprise you.

Thanks for this post. It's a relief to think that he is probably just being his normal self. Sometimes I feel bad for him, because he is in a family of teacher/counselor lovey types. I wonder if that's unpleasant for him. I know it would be unpleasant for me to be in a family of mostly NT's.

I loved the story about your parents and the prom. Funny!