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Thread: Type my son

  1. #61
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    From what you have described, Ms. Lily, your son sounds like an IxTJ to me... I'm leaning towards N - while STJs can be superb strategists, he seems to see it as more of a personal hobby, a kind of recreation for the mind. 5w6 or 6w5 come to mind as likely Enneatypes. You know who he reminds me of? Waverly Jong from The Joy Luck Club, a likely INTJ 5w6/6w5 chess prodigy.

    Perhaps, as such, your son might benefit from joining groups based on intellectual subjects (chess clubs, debate groups, etc.)? 5w6s and 6w5s seem to enjoy finding niches where they can be valued for their intellectual ingenuity/expertise... Just a suggestion...

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    Senior Member FunnyDigestion's Avatar
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    ISTP no dizzo
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  3. #63
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    I don't expect any answers as to Einstein's IQ score as a child and which type description says the SJs are prudes.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by mal12345 View Post
    Some examples would help. My INTJ friend, for example, has a highly developed social sense. He just happens to "hate people." But that doesn't mean he can't be really good with social situations. An SJ friend is prudish about sexual matters, but he admits to me that he had a Quagmire period in his early 20s. Another SJ I know is a very prudish Catholic guy - but he would probably be offended by the term "prude."

    Which type description uses the term "prude"? I don't think they try very hard to offend anybody or to castigate anyone with labels.
    You've obviously never been to INTJforum, and further more, don't see how excelling in a particular area could leave you extremely deficient in another.

    So you know a bunch of religious SJs, why can't you get past that stereotype? Do you have SJ atheist friends? Or at least ones who were raised in more liberal households? You do know that all SJs aren't religious, all religious people aren't SJs, and there are some damn weird INFx "asexuals" running around the Internet who blow any SJ sexual stereotypes out of the water.

    Truth be told, the INT comment is to counter the stupidity of your SJ prude comment, but you seem a little slow on the uptake with that parallel, so I'll just spell it out for you.

    Oh, and by the way, just when did Einstein have his IQ tested as a child? You never responded to that question for some reason.
    Einstein had a speech impediment and dyslexia and his teachers and parents thought he was borderline retarded. Argh.

  5. #65
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    From what you have described, Ms. Lily, your son sounds like an IxTJ to me... I'm leaning towards N - while STJs can be superb strategists, he seems to see it as more of a personal hobby, a kind of recreation for the mind. 5w6 or 6w5 come to mind as likely Enneatypes. You know who he reminds me of? Waverly Jong from The Joy Luck Club, a likely INTJ 5w6/6w5 chess prodigy.

    Perhaps, as such, your son might benefit from joining groups based on intellectual subjects (chess clubs, debate groups, etc.)? 5w6s and 6w5s seem to enjoy finding niches where they can be valued for their intellectual ingenuity/expertise... Just a suggestion...
    That test does not distinguish S from N. Apparently they are not differentiated in children. Whatever his interests are they should be encouraged, whatever they are, whether it's chess or football, and whatever his type happens to be.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  6. #66
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    My husband and I are very concerned about our 10 year old son. He has several learning issues and he doesn't seem to enjoy or want many friends. He also is grumpy a great deal of the time. We don't know if we should be concerned about him - ie take him to counseling. Since he has been this way his whole life, I am wondering if it is just his natural personality. So I thought understanding his type might be useful. I have my own guess, but I would like to hear from others.

    He has never enjoyed physical affection.
    He is a great strategist. Even though he does poorly on most school work, he can beat adults at games like chess and Risk.
    He is very skeptical about commercials and people telling him things in general. He tends to think that people are liars.
    He complains about being bored constantly, but doesn't have any specific interests.
    He enjoys camping/fishing type activities, board games and video games (he especially likes the games that have you build a medieval castle and village and then attack other castles).
    He doesn't seem to have compassion or understanding of other people's feelings, but occasionally he will strongly defend someone who is being bullied or picked on or being treated unjustly.
    He loves to argue/debate.
    He tends to avoid any type of work, but will work really had to get a reward he wants or to get money to buy a video game.
    He has a very strong reaction to smells and noise.
    When he was a baby, the only thing that would calm him down was if I sang to him. He wasn't calmed down by rocking or being held like other babies.

    Any thoughts?
    I'd go with INTJ. No, his IQ isn't 90, but an IQ test actually has to be "interesting" to actually measure that. No 90-IQ kid is going to beat adults at chess.

    I'd say he is very, very bored with school. So was I. School at that age, for me, was torture. I'd procrastinate on the homework. I'd get D's and C's in the really boring classes like "Social Studies." Even the stuff that was interesting was only marginally so. Math was still mechanical memorization. Science was "Oh, look, cool, dinosaurs," and regurgitating scientific "facts." Then there was the social aspect, where no one at that age was anything like me, so ostracization was the order of the day.

    And what happened to me? I grew up and got a Ph.D. in physics.

    Most of the "problems" you note are a result of being a very smart kid who has little in common with his peers, and not even that much in common with the adults in his life. He's stuck trying to figure everything out for himself, because no one in his life can explain things to him in his terms.

    (I was lucky that my parents were N's, INFJ mom, INTP dad, but even then, they didn't really get me all the time, and were worried just as you are about your kid. My brother was a wild child who had to be reigned in with curfews and such, but in my case, when they learned I had a date for the prom in high school, they were so relieved that they helped pay for everything and weren't upset that I stayed out til 7 AM the next morning ...)

    I wouldn't go with a diagnosis of asperger's, at least not yet. He seems perfectly capable of figuring things out, eventually, but he's only 10 years old. Most kids his age have the reassurance that there are others in the world that understand them. No one, except maybe a fellow NTJ or a wise NFP will really be able to connect with him in a way that "clicks."

    I would suggest you try the route of books, because that's the one place I found solace. Books didn't talk down to me or pester me about not fitting in with the crowd. Books would explain things to me that other people just wouldn't (more likely couldn't) explain. I remember fondly books about the planets and stars, the weather, nuclear energy (yes, a kid's book, which gave me a good foundation in how a chain reaction works, around age 10). I also liked fiction if it were about something weird/fantastic, like aliens or telekinesis. I fondly remember Madeleine L'Engle's "A Wrinkle in Time." I also enjoyed reading the manual to my programmable calculator ... which gave me a rudimentary understanding of trigonometry around age 9. [I couldn't do fancy math, but I knew that sin(angle) would tell me "how high" something is when it is going around in circles.]

    Aim for books that you suspect might be "above" his level - they probably aren't. Let him choose the books: run by the section of the bookstore that has topics in which he has expressed interest and let him choose something cool. Or, even cheaper, if he asks one of those weird-ass questions (I know you didn't mention any, but I bet he does!), offer to look it up on wikipedia together. Mostly, just listen for anything he's interested in and encourage that exploration, so long as you deem it appropriate.

    Let him be weird. I think he'll surprise you.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  7. #67
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    You've obviously never been to INTJforum, and further more, don't see how excelling in a particular area could leave you extremely deficient in another.

    So you know a bunch of religious SJs, why can't you get past that stereotype? Do you have SJ atheist friends? Or at least ones who were raised in more liberal households? You do know that all SJs aren't religious, all religious people aren't SJs, and there are some damn weird INFx "asexuals" running around the Internet who blow any SJ sexual stereotypes out of the water.

    Truth be told, the INT comment is to counter the stupidity of your SJ prude comment, but you seem a little slow on the uptake with that parallel, so I'll just spell it out for you.



    Einstein had a speech impediment and dyslexia and his teachers and parents thought he was borderline retarded. Argh.
    I've never known any atheist SJs.

    So what you REALLY meant to say is that someone thought Einstein was retarded as a child? Why didn't you say so in the first place?
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by mal12345 View Post
    I've never known any atheist SJs.
    Do you leave the house much?

  9. #69
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    I mean, let's think about this...Si/Fe is normative social morality...there are entire cultures which are officially atheist...so even without leaving the house, you could still read about places like China and Russia.

    So even theoretically we can deduce that all SJs are certainly not religious, and prudish sexual behavior tends to be fueled by religious repression in the name of social control, ergo, you (and our friend Keirsey) based this on his own white middle-class mid-20th century American experience, which does not do justice to the overall motivation of Si/Fe on a functional attitude level.

    But I still think you might want to meet more people. I can introduce you to a couple of atheist SJs if you like.

  10. #70
    Senior Member FunnyDigestion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mal12345 View Post
    I've never known any atheist SJs.
    When you think about it though, religion itself is more "N" than "S" in that it's abstract. It's ideas, concepts, narratives. SJ's may be more interested in the social or ritualistic elements of religion, but the people who actually create & theorize religions would tend to be NTs & NFs. Or whoever. Different people would find different comforts in it.
    RCUAI
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