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  1. #11
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I actually was the opposite. I was extremely shy, neurotically so. One of my first childhood memories is that of hiding behind the dryer in the dark in the back room with the door shut, when friends of my parents showed up to visit. I think I was four. They didn't know where I was and had to come find me.

    When I was in fourth grade, I was supposed to go to summer camp for a week, and I never ended up staying -- I cried non-stop in the registration line, probably 45 minutes altogether, until my parents gave up and took me home. I had a chance to stay with my aunt and uncle a state over the next year, I would have been with four cousins I rarely got to see + a swimming pool, but again I fell to pieces. (However, that summer, I did decide to brave out summer camp, and after the first two days, I kind of enjoyed it... although I still spent a lot of time alone.)

    I never really got talking until I went to college and I met people who I felt understood me... and as my self-confidence improved over the years, my social abilities and interests have increased accordingly. At this point, I actually really like engaging people of all different sorts, to the point where online I know I've been accused of being extroverted by some. I don't think anyone would guess how I started out. I do consider myself introverted because I still do control what I show and even engagements I enjoy exhaust my energy reserves, and I need to be alone to recharge and get my focus back and feel centered again.

    So I don't think Introversion necessarily means "untalkative" or "avoids people." In fact, I think the MBTI Step II and III's sub-categories break Introversion down into different areas, to distinguish this. (You can still be classed as Introverted, while still enjoying connection and being engaging.) Like I said above, a lot of it for me was fear -- fear of strangers, fear of me making a mistake that would bring reprisal or rejection and close opportunities. If I was with someone who I did not have a natural rapport with, I wanted to know the "rules" so that I could act appropriately and keep things working. Once I acquired enough experience and learned I could trust my communication skills, a lot of the fear dwindled.. although even now if I'm in a new situation with people I don't know well, I can be reclusive and vanish quickly. (Now it's more of a choice to leave after "putting in my time," though, rather than a compulsion to flee.)
    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    I would talk your head off if someone let me discuss topics I was interested in (um...still do).
    Yeah, in situations like that, with people who share the same interests, it can be quite manic. The conversation just pours out.

    I got a lot of rejection from adults because they thought my desire to discuss/inform them of these types of topics was weird in the extreme (how can you not want to talk about whether Europa really has water ocean underneath its surface?).
    It does?

    No, they want to discuss the weather and what their kids are doing next week and how gas has gone up lately.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #12

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    I think I became more talkative as I grew older. I was going to say I was more active younger, but that has probably stayed the same.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stigmata View Post
    Could those who end up gravitating toward introversion as they age really be classified as true introverts? Being that there introversion is a result of nurture as opposed to nature, which suggests if circumstances in their childhood had different that they very well could've grown up to embrace that initial inclination toward extroversion more.
    Honestly, I've been wondering about that but I've tried being more social and everything and I don't feel comfortable. Perhaps I am an extrovert when it comes to world and ideas more than people, I don't know, I was already a lot in my head as a child, just a bit more talkative. I'd say that the preference for introversion may have been found in the way I conceptualized the world at first (but I've never been in someone else's mind), not in the fact that I used to share with some people (a teacher, my brother, other children).

    And there's the fact that I deal with anxiety by talking a lot, even to myself, so when I was shy around people, I would talk helplessly (since being quiet wasn't exactly accepted).

    And I don't think that everything is white and black in this question, there is probably some natural preferences as well as preferences you got from your own personal history.
    I can tell that my personality fluctuated during my life [I was much more introverted when I was in nursery school and my memories include no one directly but was still loud and always moving apparently] and I think that cultural expectations had a great influence over my life when I was younger.
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  4. #14

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    I was always so obnoxious and clingy as a child, now I barely communicate with human beings at all.

  5. #15
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stigmata View Post
    Could those who end up gravitating toward introversion as they age really be classified as true introverts? Being that there introversion is a result of nurture as opposed to nature, which suggests if circumstances in their childhood had different that they very well could've grown up to embrace that initial inclination toward extroversion more.
    It's not really "nurture" that made them introverted. They already were inclined toward the inner world, but experiences in the outer world simply confirmed that the inner world was more "safe", and what they would fall back on. A true extravert would not withdraw under those circumstances (we're talking normal situations; not anything really traumatic or whatever), but instead learn to charm their way into acceptance. For the outer world is what they fall back on.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    So I don't think Introversion necessarily means "untalkative" or "avoids people." In fact, I think the MBTI Step II and III's sub-categories break Introversion down into different areas, to distinguish this. (You can still be classed as Introverted, while still enjoying connection and being engaging.) Like I said above, a lot of it for me was fear -- fear of strangers, fear of me making a mistake that would bring reprisal or rejection and close opportunities. If I was with someone who I did not have a natural rapport with, I wanted to know the "rules" so that I could act appropriately and keep things working. Once I acquired enough experience and learned I could trust my communication skills, a lot of the fear dwindled.. although even now if I'm in a new situation with people I don't know well, I can be reclusive and vanish quickly. (Now it's more of a choice to leave after "putting in my time," though, rather than a compulsion to flee.)
    There's also the "wanted" dimension, which ties into what is called "role-informative". I/E translates into how much we express to others, while how much we want of others also shapes our interaction.
    And INP's like us who are Supine will want more, yet express less (be more shy) than those who are Phlegmatic, and can basically take people or leave them. Because of the higher want, we are willing to really open up with those we feel safe with. Yet, if the situation or environment turns out to not be safe, then we will clam up again.

    A pragmatic conative temperament (NT or SP) will also lead to a kind of expressiveness or assertiveness (approaching others) in certain situations (such as challenging something), even when introverted.
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  6. #16
    Senior Member uncommonentity's Avatar
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    I wasn't that talkative at all beyond the obvious communication a child has to make to be graced with moderate comfort and food. I spent near enough all of my childhood buried in a book or video game. I'd get bored of playing with other children and go off to sit in a corner on my own. Photos were taken of me at my uncles birthday party when I was about 3-4 and I've just distanced myself from the other kids to look through a cardboard box because I found it way more exciting to find out what was in the box than to play with the others. I broke all my toys one christmas because I wanted to see what was inside of them and find out how they worked. I was far more interested in how everything functioned rather than its actual purpose. As I grew older I realized I was able to get different reactions from the same person depending on what I said to them. I could get someone to hate me if I said one thing and love me if I said the other. Making both love and hate entirely neutral emotions to me. I then stopped caring what people thought of me because it didn't really matter if someone loved me or hated me because it was just a sum of what I'd given them to work with. Being able to then adjust whether someone was to love me or hate me by choosing what came out of my mouth made me question the validity and variable nature of language itself. Thus I became mute and analytical.
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  7. #17
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    I was very quiet as a child. I was capable of talking to people to and expanding on my thoughts if needed, but I really, really didn't want to. I just wanted to be left alone. This, unfortunately, seemed to be a unreasonable attitude, as I was constantly pushed to talk/perform/put myself in the spotlight, because apparently, talent is ignored unless displayed persistently and aggressively.

    It took people a while to realise that I didn't need to float on seas of external validation to be happy, and they finally backed off. I got to spend the rest of my childhood in sullen silence and it was GREAT.

    I've become far more talkative over the years. The trend started when I was about sixteen, hit an all time high at 21-22, and has now settled down to a fairly happy (if slightly introverted) medium at 24.

  8. #18
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    It's difficult to say, since my sense of self-awareness really only cemented around the age of 12. There was a point when I became painfully conscious of the consequences of speaking and interacting with the "outside world", so much that I would over-process and miss opportunities. In this sense, my ego had came to favor introversion as a conscious method of handling life. However, before that, my roll as a quiet observer was more organic as I felt no pressure to conform to mirroring those who were more outgoing. You could say I was rather introverted; I spoke when I felt it was necessary, but loved working behind the scenes over working as the flagship of humanity as we know it.

  9. #19
    Member amazingdatagirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I wanted to know the "rules" so that I could act appropriately and keep things working.
    LOL - I am still trying to figure out the "rules".

    My oldest brother is barely 12 mos younger than me and an ESTP motor-mouth. I never had a chance to get a word in edgewise. As we got older, I became the straight man in our sibling dialog. Just got back from a family visit and we still communicate the same way.

    I never considered myself to be shy although I am a hardcore introvert. I was the target of vicious teasing when I was in grade school and retreated from social contact because I was never sure if a potential friendship was genuine or if it was a setup for more emotional pain. As a child, I enjoyed social events but always stayed on the periphery. I was an observer rather than a participant.

  10. #20
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric B View Post
    I find that some introverts tend to be more outgoing when young. Over time, when life ad people start "getting to them", they withdraw more. Introversion carries with it a fear of rejection (at least in some temperament theories), and once you learn how "dangerous" (at least, socially) the world can be, then the typical introversion traits come out more.
    This IS definitely the case with me.

    You wouldn't even know if I was really introverted or not considering I was out and about almost every day. I was that stereotypical child that played with neighbors on a daily basis.

    I was also talkative with people I know, but shy with people I did not know or barely know, which is the same case today.

    Somewhere around 10-12 years old, I began learning that the world was A LOT bigger than I imagined and things can happen a lot bigger than I can imagine. What I say and what I do can have consequences.

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