Anyone can lead, I believe this is true with everything I have. (Though, how well they lead, this is another story..)
However.. I don't think everyone is cut out for the alpha-male personality. Thank God. While I'm not sure about the rest of the world, we could use a little less of it in America. We're always one spilled-drink, shoe-scuff, or bumped shoulder away from nuclear warfare.
I think the problem is people aspire too much to this idea of the 'alpha male' and it's both unrealistic and unnecessary. It's a myth of masculinity. And it's also just 1 extreme example of masculinity.
As far as leading, all personality types can and are leaders and generally people are leaders in certain areas of their life, not all. So you might be a boss at work but you are still harried and 'ball busted' at home (regardless of your gender :P). Or you may be a respected leader in your church but not so much outside the church social realm.
Rather than say 'alpha male' I like the phrase 'like a boss!' First, it's way funnier. Second, I think it's more accurate to what people mean by 'leader'.
I just think about INTJs. INTJ's do not display typical 'alpha male' characteristics, but they are often "bosses" at work because they have expertise and can direct people.
With the popular social definition of 'alpha male' you pretty much have to be an extrovert.
Ummmmm...what else can I ramble here? Oh yeah "calm assertive". The alpha males in social packs in nature are generally pretty calm, why? Because they know you better kiss their ass. In dog and primate packs, lower ranking folks groom and fawn over the higher ranked folks.
I think though in terms of human society, people get really caught up in trying to be an alpha, which by definition, means that you are not one.
OOOH. That was deep. LOL I should stop replying to posts after my brain has turned to jelly...
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde
I compare these to the alpha orangutan and alpha chimpanzee.
The alpha A (orangutan) is born alpha. They even grow the cool little cheek pads to prove it. This represents itself in males as such. These men are confident, calm, and often completely independent. They operate outside of the group, and rarely have to compete for status. They are inclined, and dont compete for status, because their alphaness is inherent. They pick a woman and breed. These men smell like cookies (see posts regarding ESTP ex).
These men are usually tall, broad shouldered. They walk with a certain elegance. While maintaining masculinity they are also not scared to look like idiots. They joke around, may be the life of the party, but then retreat into their man cave for every day living. They do not need. They can support, they aren't chumps. They usually trust people because they have no reason not to. Outgoing and confident, their magnetism draws in a plethora of diverse types of women. They are rarely affected by this. Do not become pompous, or egotistical. They treat women with respect, and leave most women thinking the best of them, even if they love and leave. Did I mention, they smell like cookies.
Alpha B. The Chimpanzee alpha. In nature the chimpanzees have to compete for alpha status. Any male can attain it, though the next man can quickly take it if faster, better, louder, stronger. They tend to have something to prove. Because they are competing for their status. They are usually very lively, loud, energetic, and charismatic. They are also very insecure. They have known, or will know the experience of being beaten at their own game. See alpha A never plays the game, this is where they trump the alpha B. This insecurity can take two forms. Finding a social circle that maintains their superiority, or a self centered view for self preservation. This is the lesser alpha, though, alpha never the less.
Don't get me started into the betas. Lol!
Edit: I will also add that the majority of women who look for alphas encounter the alpha B, which is why they get a bad rep.