Isnt being ISTJ the worst type?

[istj86]

(eeh i think the topic title isnt correct, sorry about my english)
Im an ISTJ, like some people in my family.

In society the cool thing is having 700 facebook friends and going to party and drink every weekend like theres no tomorrow.

I feel myself like a weirdo and probably lots of people who know me think i am, nobody likes a non-talkative person, i always make up excuses so i dont have to to go parties or go to restaurants, some people can think im complicated because i have to plan almost everything...

I dont hate people and i wouldnt say im antisocial, i have no problems to go shopping or doing paperwork at some government office and i treat unknown people in a friendly way... but im so bad making new friends, you cannot just throw me into a group of 10 unknown people and pretend me to meet them.

Im probably going to die alone, im really bad meeting girls, not only im non-talkative and shy, i cannot see the difference between friendship and love with a girl, if they talk to me i think they like me, then i fall in love, they wont love me back and ill be heartbroken for a while. Im 25 now and this has happened to me all my life. Im very fit and i would score myself 6,5/10 at least, but that doesnt help. Everytime they reject me ill try to be even more distant with girls the next time, so day after day im meeting less girls, so less chances...

I dont even know what job i want. Thought of law enforcement but in my country its real hard to get in (very few open spots) and if you get the job they move you to a random city and i want to stay here... I thought of IT (computers and all that stuff) but at least in Spain almost all job offers are about programming, and i dont like that, i hate maths!
Thought of accounting but again, im really bad with maths.

I think ISTJ is the whole personality type ever

 

[Oaky]

You blame MBTI for your lack of social ability? Not sure where you're from but I suppose the reactions that occur to the attitude you apply yourself would generally be quite universal.

 

[istj86]

You blame MBTI for your lack of social ability?

Yes i do
Some random quotes from many sites

"ISTJs are happiest at home among family rather than meeting new people"
"ISTJs tend to be hesitant to meet new people"
"Enjoys spending time alone more than meeting new people"

I wish i could change it

 

[Oaky]

Yes i do
Some random quotes from many sites

"ISTJs are happiest at home among family rather than meeting new people"
"ISTJs tend to be hesitant to meet new people"
"Enjoys spending time alone more than meeting new people"

I wish i could change it

I see. Yes, it is interesting, the ISTJ archetype that tends to incline towards the things those quotes mention.
If we want to speak quotes I suppose I can play at the game.

They may have difficulty showing warmth, but they frequently feel it in abundance, and most develop the ability to show it through sheer effort. If nothing else, the ISTJ holds the gold medal of all the personality types for Effort. They will put forth tremendous amounts of effort to accomplish goals which are important to them. If healthy relationships are among these goals, you can bet that the ISTJ will do everything that they can to foster and maintain healthy relationships.

ISTJs are generally willing and able to do anything which they have defined as a goal. So, if maintaining a good relationship is important to the ISTJ, they are likely to have a good relationship.

Any mind fizzles?

 

[Patches]

I wouldn't be so quick to assume that all ISTJs are socially inept.

I think the idea behind the quotes that you listed is that ISTJs would rather have a small circle of very close/trusted friends... Than a huge network of friends. At least this is what rings true for me. I would rather have 5 close friends who understand me, who I can speak to on a deeper level, who I feel comfortable being around... than have 700 meaningless Facebook friends who know NOTHING about me.

I have no use for meaningless relationships that lack any real connection.

 

[Randomnity]

mbti can help you identify weaknesses that are common to your type (but that you may or may not actually have).

Then it's your job to improve, avoid, and/or accept those weak areas.

Using mbti as an excuse for weaknesses is as silly as saying "oh I'm female so I can never be good at sports, but they look so fun...sigh"

 

[skylights]

that's unfortunate for you.

personally, i would love to be more organized, more logical, more detail-attentive, and less needy of people.

if they talk to me i think they like me, then i fall in love, they wont love me back and ill be heartbroken for a while.

I dont even know what job i want.

you're human, mister sad ISTJ, welcome to the club. we all feel lonely, weird, and like we're struggling. i'm an ENFP, your complete opposite, and i feel the same way too. i don't know what i want to do for my job yet either. i also struggle with relationships and have a hard time separating very close friendship and love.

and maybe it's cool to have 700 fb friends and drink, but in my opinion, most people who have over 500 friends don't even know many of those people (or can't remember where they met them), much less do they talk to them, and going out and drinking every weekend sucks because you waste all your money on alcohol and wake up with awful hangovers.

on the downside, there's no solution to this, really. on the upside, there are probably a lot of really great things about being you that you're not focusing on. you've already said you're good at being friendly with strangers and you're good at supporting the government infrastructure that keeps your whole country running.

personally i have a good ISTJ friend who is lovely. she doesn't really like crowds and she needs to plan things in advance (but actually, so do i, i don't like spontaneous plans very much). she's really sweet, very smart, and always on top of things. like patches, she has a small group of close-knit friends that she surrounds herself with. she's an excellent piano player with an extraordinary aptitude for playing very technically complicated pieces. she works in an environmental sector of the government, doing research on new technologies. i think she makes the best of her ISTJ.

"ISTJs are happiest at home among family rather than meeting new people"
"ISTJs tend to be hesitant to meet new people"
"Enjoys spending time alone more than meeting new people"

I wish i could change it

see, the thing here, is that i doubt you're actually unhappy about these things themselves. you're probably unhappy with what you think they imply. personally, i'm also usually happier at home with family than meeting new people. i also like new people, though. just because you're happier at home doesn't mean you can't learn to interact smoothly with people, nor does it mean you're destined to be lonely. plus, it's not good to not enjoy time alone. i don't like time alone very much and that's really annoying to me. i have a hard time when i can't be around people, which means that i'm not always very self-sufficient. there are a lot of good things about being introverted - it's just hard to see them until you're on the other side of the fence. extraversion is made into this big wonderful thing. it's not. it's really not that great. it just is, just like introversion.

it's how you use it that matters. the same is true for your whole type. it's not what you are, it's how you use it. if you try to be an ESTP, you're going to be one very unhappy ISTJ. if you try to be a happy ISTJ... well then, you'll probably be a happy ISTJ. talk to other ISTJs on the site. see how they deal with people, how they make new friends, how they handle relationships. learn from them and from others like yourself (not all ISTJs are very alike, after all) how you can make the most of your type, because there are a lot of advantages you have over other people. you're more self-sufficient, more realistic, more logical, and more organized than 15 other types.

so, welcome to humanity, get over yourself. ISTJ is the worst type sometimes, just like every other type. we're all the worst sometimes and the best sometimes. try to focus on when you're the best

 

[rav3n]

The ISTJ ex-husband used to make friends very easily since he was so laid-back. But when it came to getting close, very, very few people got close to him. Even some of his very close family didn't know him well, only the face he displayed socially.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

I like em, and they also seem to be drawn to me.

 

[Eckhart]

It surely is no ISTJ thing. I as an INFP have more or less exactly the same issues as you describe.

I wish I could offer you some advice or help in some way, but if things were as easy I wouldn't need to be in the same situation If you want to talk about it I can still try though.

 

[Nicodemus]

Well, actually, 'being ISTJ' is not a type.

 

[Santosha]

I love my ISTJ buddies! Having 700 FB friends and drinking every night is NOT cool! I laugh at people with that many friends. Rarely are they truly friends with them. To me, it just shows an overwhelming need for validation and the (failed) appearance of being cool. Drinking all the time might be fun in a phaze, but there is nothing cool about being dependent, needing something to feel okay or social, and poisening your body. True, my ISTJ friends have a limited number of FB friends.. they could easily have 700 if they valued quantity of quality. Anyone could. I think you are being too hard on yourself. ISTJ are great in soooo many ways. THey are dependable. THey keep it real. They rarely lie, cheat, etc. They are hard workers. They don't BLOVIATE about achievements, connections, or themselves.. They tend to have a good sense of self and direction. I wonder how old you are.. don't mistake some of the painful growing traits for all types as just you being bad. Many types don't know what they want to be. I'm 30 and I still ask myself what I will do when I grow up =D No, I'm telling ya.. there is MUCH worse things to be than ISTJ. Work on being a little more open with people, work on not thinking everyone that talks to you wants to be your girlfriend, work on figuring out what career is going to make you HAPPY. You'll be fine.

 

[istj86]

Well, actually, 'being ISTJ' is not a type.

I know and i wrote a little note on the first post, english isnt my main language.

Anyways, thanks to all who posted

 

[Nicodemus]

I know and i wrote a little note on the first post, english isnt my main language.

It is a lapse in logic, not in language. English is not my first language either, by the way.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

You did get the gist of what he was saying though.

So why is it necessary to put him down?

 

[Rasofy]

The ''problems'' you listed for ISTJs apply to most Introverts. You just need some self confidence and things are gonna get better. I'm sure there are a lot of things you are good at, but you won't get anywhere focusing only on the bad things - which aren't really bad things, by the way.
Being Introvert has many advantages. Check those threads:
http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...lity-matrices/47750-hard-being-introvert.html
http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...lity-matrices/48015-hard-being-extrovert.html
Also, when you treat a girl like a friend for too long, you tend to get friend-zoned. You are not alone on that, I think a lot of people here have been in this situation. If you have romantic interests for a girl, you can't keep hiding this fact for too long, you gotta take risks.

 

[Rasofy]

You did get the gist of what he was saying though.

So why is it necessary to put him down?

+1

 

[Nicodemus]

You did get the gist of what he was saying though.

So why is it necessary to put him down?

I did not put him down, I made him aware of a mistake - one that, thanks to me, he may avoid in the future.

Are you opposed to learning?

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

You did put him down when you mentioned both that the error was in logic and not in language, and when you said that English wasn't your first language either.

Maybe he hasn't been speaking that long?

His circumstances are not yours and to assume otherwise is (in my most humble of opinions) a far graver error than his minor grammar mix up.

Why not PM him about the mix up in grammar as opposed to highlighting his trivial mistake publicly?

The result would be the same.

Are you opposed to congeniality?

I mean the guy hasn't even been here that long. Getting publicly dragged through the mud over something so trivial may leave a sour taste in his mouth concerning typoc, and disincline him from staying.

I think any one of the things I've mentioned is more important than your desire to be right.

Either way this is derailing the thread so I'll leave it here.

 

[Nicodemus]

You did put him down when you mentioned both that the error was in logic and not in language, and when you said that English wasn't your first language either.

Whether or not I put him down depends on either my intention or your perception. I did not intend to put him down; so if you believe that I did put him down, it is your way of looking at it that put him down. In other words: He was put down not by what I put into the words but by what you read out of them.

Maybe he hasn't been speaking that long?

Likely. But how is that relevant?

His circumstances are not yours and to assume otherwise is (in my most humble of opinions) a far graver error than his minor grammar mix up.

I did not assume anything about his circumstances. What are you talking about?

Why not PM him about the mix up in grammar as opposed to highlighting his trivial mistake publicly?

The result would be the same.

I thought it funnier this way.

Are you opposed to congeniality?

I mean the guy hasn't even been here that long. Getting publicly dragged through the mud over something so trivial may leave a sour taste in his mouth concerning typoc, and disincline him from staying.

I think any one of the things I've mentioned is more important than your desire to be right.

I was not trying to be mean, to put him down or - how absurdly exaggerated - to drag him through the mud. You may not believe me, but that is your problem.