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Reading people

fragrance

New member
Joined
May 25, 2010
Messages
106
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8
Who do you think are the best types when it comes to reading people? Doesn't have to be one type, but more of a spectrum: from best to worst.

There's always the talk about xNFJ, ESTP etc. being really good at this. But I realized that the xNFJ I've met usually know me from the start, while the xSTP usually need time until they figure me out (probably until they have collected enough data).

Somehow the latter (xSTP) only see my surface and if I act as a non-INTJ right from the start, they'd never think I'm an INTJ. Whereas the xNFJ knows I'm not being authentic.
 

Little Linguist

Striving for balance
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
6,880
MBTI Type
xNFP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
It ain't me, I can tell you that right now.
 

copperfish17

New member
Joined
Dec 13, 2009
Messages
712
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
A great people-reader I know is an INTJ. Most NFJs I know are very talented people-readers as well - however, I do know a few NFJs who are downright terrible at reading people. I know an NFJ who has a completely groundless understanding of me. It's funny, 'cause this particular one thinks she knows everything about me and my psyche when she can't get any more inaccurate.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
INFJs are pretty good because they pay attention to what you say, and they remember. As an ENTP I think I'm better than most at seeing through facades and manipulation is basically a waste of your time if you are attempting to use it against me, I may play along but I see exactly what is happening.

Understanding people is one of my core motivators in life, this is a common thing for ENTPs I believe, hence I would say ENTPs are usually pretty good at reading people... because we want to be.
 

redacted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
Messages
4,223
The best ones I know are ENFPx2, INFJ (me!), ESFP, ISFJ, ENTP, and ISTJ.

Um... it's probably correlated to type but not that highly. For example, I know an ENFP who is terrible.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
As an ENTP I think I'm better than most at seeing through facades and manipulation is basically a waste of your time if you are attempting to use it against me, I may play along but I see exactly what is happening.

I can identify with that. INTP basically uses patterning and rational coherence to detect and explore any anomalies in presentation. If someone is inconsistent in what they say or something doesn't make sense, INTP picks up on that immediately just as it would a logical flaw in a theory. Rational patterning is used to get a feel for what lies under the surface -- either the hidden parts can be guessed at, or at least the size of the ambiguity is recognized and so the mind starts working to figure out what is there.

(I remember once where a friend claimed he was doing one thing while going out in the evenings, and all the SFs believed him, while I immediately was like, "His comments make no sense" and the most rational conclusion was that he was having an affair. And I was right. I had intuited based on my sense of how people of his type worked, as well as my experience with him on a personal basis.)

The problem with INTP is that we can be notoriously inexperiened with people. To accurately gauge people, one has to understand the patterns of how people work... hence, experience dealing with and talking to people, in order to originally get a sense of things. You can't use physics to predict where a moving body will be in a minute based on known principles if you have no idea what the known principles are.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
I'm sometimes good at it sometimes I'm terrible. Sometimes I can tell someone's motives right off the bat other times i'm blind sided.
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
I am very good at reading people so long as my analysis doesn't include me in the calculations.

I usually spook people a bit when I first unleash my powers of empathy. I kind of employ both an Ne + Fi with the occasional flair of Ni. (I have very good Ni ability.... My problem is that I simply don't trust it as often as I should.... With my Ne talking me out of a flash of analysis.)

I have several different modes of empathy based on factors such as: how well I know this person, how well they know me, and what do I think this person needs from me?

Sometimes I am just there to listen and be silently supportive. Example: one of my INTP friends broke up with his gf of 6 years a number of years ago. So he would come over to my house and we would play Lego star wars for hours. Eventually he would start talking and I would just listen. He is a smart guy, he knew exactly where things went wrong... So he didn't need me to point out the obvious... He just needed to get what he was thinking out of his head with someone.

Sometimes what I sense is that this person needs some tough love. Example: my ISFJ friend has been a serial dater for years. Always coming up with some lame excuse as to why she doesn't want to date him anymore. (actual examples: his shoes were brown, he was an inch shorter than me, he drove a Volvo.) to me a "deal breaker" is: hi, I solicit prostitutes whilst shooting up heroin. So one night when she was whining particularly hard about still being single... I decided that listening time was over. I turned to her and said very unemotionally exactly what I thought about what she was doing.... And that at a certain point one needs to look at themselves to see why relationships aren't working out instead of assuming that 100% of men suck. It took many moons to drive this point home, but listening me had to move out for awhile.

In the end the well being of my friend is my highest priority, and while the tough love aspect of my empathy isn't what comes most naturally to me... I am able to put it to good use as needed.

The types that have best "read" me in return have been: INFJ (friends), INTJ (friends and ex) and ENTP (ex after he knew me long enough), and INTP (friends). In basically that order. Ni sees what I am concealing, and the NTPs get me once I draw them a map so their Ne doesn't talk them out of analysis.
 

Qlip

Post Human Post
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
8,464
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm always trying to read other people's motivations, with varying success. I am very good at sensing any kind of manipulation. I'm pretty good in identifying actions that don't add up with professed motives.
 

fragrance

New member
Joined
May 25, 2010
Messages
106
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8
Okay, seems as if this isn't that strongly correlated with type. I know an INFJ who's terrible at reading people, an ISFP who's very good, and an ESTP and an ENFJ who are also good. I think I can also read people, but not their emotions, but rather whether they are hiding or lying to me, and what they are going to do next.
 
N

NPcomplete

Guest
When I do care, I can be pretty good at reading people. I usually know when they are faking, when they're uncomfortable or when they're trying to manipulate me but it takes me a tad longer to figure out why.

If we want to go by type, the NFJs I know can read me easily although that could be because they've known me since forever. I usually can sense when my fellow NTPs are closing off the walls so I try to curb down my curiosity and not invade them (because I hate it when people do that to me). The NTPs can read me pretty well too (I feel). Not sure about the other types. I think I can read my INFP friend fairly well but one can never be sure. We're slowly building our trust levels so I'm still accumulating data and she's probably doing the same thing as well.
 

Santosha

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2011
Messages
1,516
MBTI Type
HUMR
Enneagram
6
Instinctual Variant
sx
I think NF's can have an uncanny sense of reading people. I think the INFJ's can be really good at this, but the focus is a bit different than the NFP's. Two INFJ's I know have this extraordinary ability to kinda foresee how someone or something is going to panout.. but as far as just sensing the core of another person.. I'd give that to the INFP's.

IMO

INFP's are better at understanding the core of a person. Inate nature.
INFJ's are better at understanding where the person will end up.
ENFP's are better at understanding motivations and social dynamics.
 
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,858
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
54
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Probably better than average, but can be slowed by all the voices in my head, just imagining myself having an out of body, being the other person. Most people are predominantly visually-oriented, so sometimes I play along to force their next hand.

Also pretty good at forgetting what bums do with your loose change.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
I doubt that it's type related. I think it has alot to do with your childhood and who you learned to read in your family...
 

entropie

Permabanned
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Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
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783
The best people readers are those who dont need the mbti to do that
 

Jaguar

Active member
Joined
May 5, 2007
Messages
20,647
I doubt that it's type related. I think it has alot to do with your childhood and who you learned to read in your family...

I agree with that. My 'radar' rarely let's me down. To think that MBTI has anything to do with it, is absurd.

The best people readers are those who dont need the mbti to do that

True.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I'd like to think I'm pretty good at it. I think that anyone who makes a conscious effort to pay attention to people and analyze their behavior (aka just practise reading people) is likely to be pretty good. It's a matter of having the interest to do the work :shrug:
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I honestly can't decide whether I'm good at reading people or not. I'm not sure either if it is type related. I'm not always sure if others are good at reading people either! :)

I certainly lack the "I'm always right about everyone" thing that some INFJs have going...I've stated on many occasions on this forum that it drives me up the wall ;) I actually think that sometimes I doubt my own ability to get a handle on people more than I actually should. That may have something to do with being e6. I tend to question my own conclusions a lot, second-guessing. So I'm often not sure if my initial hunches are right.

On the whole though, the evidence seems to suggest that I'm reasonably good at reading people. (A notable exception would be guys I am interested in. Unfortunately I can develop massive blind spots there, though not always. Sometimes it's more that I think I see potential in them that isn't really there and I extrapolate too much from that.) I have friends who tend to come with totally non-nuanced portraits of others, but I guess I can usually see both the good and bad in people, the strengths and weaknesses, because I don't like to be unfair. (Another notable exception, I'm afraid, is if I've been dumped or let down by someone I like. My opinion of them can then become more harsh than they deserve...sometimes it is the flip side of initially idealizing them or being kinder to them than they deserve...)
 
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