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Thread: Reading people

  1. #1
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    Default Reading people

    Who do you think are the best types when it comes to reading people? Doesn't have to be one type, but more of a spectrum: from best to worst.

    There's always the talk about xNFJ, ESTP etc. being really good at this. But I realized that the xNFJ I've met usually know me from the start, while the xSTP usually need time until they figure me out (probably until they have collected enough data).

    Somehow the latter (xSTP) only see my surface and if I act as a non-INTJ right from the start, they'd never think I'm an INTJ. Whereas the xNFJ knows I'm not being authentic.

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    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Senior Member copperfish17's Avatar
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    A great people-reader I know is an INTJ. Most NFJs I know are very talented people-readers as well - however, I do know a few NFJs who are downright terrible at reading people. I know an NFJ who has a completely groundless understanding of me. It's funny, 'cause this particular one thinks she knows everything about me and my psyche when she can't get any more inaccurate.
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    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    INFJs are pretty good because they pay attention to what you say, and they remember. As an ENTP I think I'm better than most at seeing through facades and manipulation is basically a waste of your time if you are attempting to use it against me, I may play along but I see exactly what is happening.

    Understanding people is one of my core motivators in life, this is a common thing for ENTPs I believe, hence I would say ENTPs are usually pretty good at reading people... because we want to be.

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    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    The best ones I know are ENFPx2, INFJ (me!), ESFP, ISFJ, ENTP, and ISTJ.

    Um... it's probably correlated to type but not that highly. For example, I know an ENFP who is terrible.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    As an ENTP I think I'm better than most at seeing through facades and manipulation is basically a waste of your time if you are attempting to use it against me, I may play along but I see exactly what is happening.
    I can identify with that. INTP basically uses patterning and rational coherence to detect and explore any anomalies in presentation. If someone is inconsistent in what they say or something doesn't make sense, INTP picks up on that immediately just as it would a logical flaw in a theory. Rational patterning is used to get a feel for what lies under the surface -- either the hidden parts can be guessed at, or at least the size of the ambiguity is recognized and so the mind starts working to figure out what is there.

    (I remember once where a friend claimed he was doing one thing while going out in the evenings, and all the SFs believed him, while I immediately was like, "His comments make no sense" and the most rational conclusion was that he was having an affair. And I was right. I had intuited based on my sense of how people of his type worked, as well as my experience with him on a personal basis.)

    The problem with INTP is that we can be notoriously inexperiened with people. To accurately gauge people, one has to understand the patterns of how people work... hence, experience dealing with and talking to people, in order to originally get a sense of things. You can't use physics to predict where a moving body will be in a minute based on known principles if you have no idea what the known principles are.
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    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I'm sometimes good at it sometimes I'm terrible. Sometimes I can tell someone's motives right off the bat other times i'm blind sided.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  8. #8
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    I am very good at reading people so long as my analysis doesn't include me in the calculations.

    I usually spook people a bit when I first unleash my powers of empathy. I kind of employ both an Ne + Fi with the occasional flair of Ni. (I have very good Ni ability.... My problem is that I simply don't trust it as often as I should.... With my Ne talking me out of a flash of analysis.)

    I have several different modes of empathy based on factors such as: how well I know this person, how well they know me, and what do I think this person needs from me?

    Sometimes I am just there to listen and be silently supportive. Example: one of my INTP friends broke up with his gf of 6 years a number of years ago. So he would come over to my house and we would play Lego star wars for hours. Eventually he would start talking and I would just listen. He is a smart guy, he knew exactly where things went wrong... So he didn't need me to point out the obvious... He just needed to get what he was thinking out of his head with someone.

    Sometimes what I sense is that this person needs some tough love. Example: my ISFJ friend has been a serial dater for years. Always coming up with some lame excuse as to why she doesn't want to date him anymore. (actual examples: his shoes were brown, he was an inch shorter than me, he drove a Volvo.) to me a "deal breaker" is: hi, I solicit prostitutes whilst shooting up heroin. So one night when she was whining particularly hard about still being single... I decided that listening time was over. I turned to her and said very unemotionally exactly what I thought about what she was doing.... And that at a certain point one needs to look at themselves to see why relationships aren't working out instead of assuming that 100% of men suck. It took many moons to drive this point home, but listening me had to move out for awhile.

    In the end the well being of my friend is my highest priority, and while the tough love aspect of my empathy isn't what comes most naturally to me... I am able to put it to good use as needed.

    The types that have best "read" me in return have been: INFJ (friends), INTJ (friends and ex) and ENTP (ex after he knew me long enough), and INTP (friends). In basically that order. Ni sees what I am concealing, and the NTPs get me once I draw them a map so their Ne doesn't talk them out of analysis.

  9. #9
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    I'm always trying to read other people's motivations, with varying success. I am very good at sensing any kind of manipulation. I'm pretty good in identifying actions that don't add up with professed motives.

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    Okay, seems as if this isn't that strongly correlated with type. I know an INFJ who's terrible at reading people, an ISFP who's very good, and an ESTP and an ENFJ who are also good. I think I can also read people, but not their emotions, but rather whether they are hiding or lying to me, and what they are going to do next.

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