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Is it hard being an introvert?

Is being an introvert hard?

  • it sucks! I want to be an extrovert! =(

    Votes: 3 4.8%
  • I would prefer being an extrovert, but being I is alright

    Votes: 7 11.3%
  • it is hard, but I still like being an introvert

    Votes: 21 33.9%
  • It's hard being I, but I'm neutral

    Votes: 5 8.1%
  • it's not hard being I, I'm neutral

    Votes: 7 11.3%
  • extroverts are awesome too, but I'm glad I'm I

    Votes: 5 8.1%
  • I love being an introvert! =D

    Votes: 8 12.9%
  • it's just a friggin letter, who cares?

    Votes: 6 9.7%

  • Total voters
    62

skylights

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I do think it's more of an extrovert's world.

I'm often suprised when extraverts claim they want to be introverts. Are you fucking crazy?!?!?

introversion is really looked down on by society (oh you're unfriendly, you have no social skills, you're boring, you're snobby, you're a bad team player, etc etc etc)

I do get the feeling sometimes that extroversion is overappreciated while introversion is underappreciated. It definitely depends from the era and civilization. Western society tends to promote extraversion.

Oh ya, also going to add that being around really extreme extroverts is a bit strange for me. I will observe the need for constant external validation, the need to constantly have people around, be on the phone, etc. and I think.. how can you ever know yourself? When doyou find the time to know whats within? I would not want to be extreme on either end of the dichotomy.

just to throw out there, i think society readily appreciates the positive qualities of extraversion, but the other side of the extraversion coin - like what huxley brought up - is readily dismissed. sometimes i think mild introverts have it easier in the sense that society is sort of neutral to mild introversion. not to invalidate the feelings that any of you guys might have, i was shy when i was younger and i know how it feels to be propped and poked when you really don't want to engage, but i do think that often the downside of being an extravert is just less immediately visible.

for example, it is bizarre for me to be praised at work or in classes for being open and talkative and enthusiastic, but then late at night when i really need someone to bounce ideas off of so they don't circulate in me like an awful clogged-up toilet (thank god for the internetz), others can be quite negative and dismissive about it. because they only want to talk when it's time for talking. given, this might be more of a Ne problem, because we like to discuss crazy shit, but still - the same exact attribute at a different time of day goes from being seen as very positive to very negative, and that's pretty frustrating. or you're in class and get on a brilliant idea-tangent, when the prof informs you that it's time to let others talk. what? dammit. i just figured out what i want to say...

plus you guys don't see the downside for extraverts as much because it happens when we're alone and/or don't have anything to engage with. you don't really often get to see us getting stressed out and wound up and exhausted and the unpleasant tangle of energy grappling to get out. cause if you're with us, we're probably on and engaged! but while you're happy and alone and recharging, i'm getting lost in a negative soup of dark emotion and thought and feeling like my insides want to break away and fly and find something to do and someone to interact with and a way to bring back life and color and light before i drown in the craziness inside my head. in some ways being extraverted makes you dependent, especially for an ExxP.

CrystalViolet said:
I look at extroverts and wonder how they stay "on" all the time

it's like being a cold-blooded creature, i guess. i need my environment to help stimulate me, otherwise i get wound down, and being wound down doesn't feel good. it's the same as feeling hungry or like you have to pee. or both at once, which is a pain in the ass. you need more stimulation and you need to get what's inside of you, out.

but of course i imagine that the bell curve is most true. the people who have it easiest are in the middle of the curve, and/or are those who have figured out how to use their qualities to their best advantage.
 

entropie

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just to throw out there, i think society readily appreciates the positive qualities of extraversion, but the other side of the extraversion coin - like what huxley brought up - is readily dismissed. sometimes i think mild introverts have it easier in the sense that society is sort of neutral to mild introversion. not to invalidate the feelings that any of you guys might have, i was shy when i was younger and i know how it feels to be propped and poked when you really don't want to engage, but i do think that often the downside of being an extravert is just less immediately visible.

for example, it is bizarre for me to be praised at work or in classes for being open and talkative and enthusiastic, but then late at night when i really need someone to bounce ideas off of so they don't circulate in me like an awful clogged-up toilet (thank god for the internetz), others can be quite negative and dismissive about it. because they only want to talk when it's time for talking. given, this might be more of a Ne problem, because we like to discuss crazy shit, but still - the same exact attribute at a different time of day goes from being seen as very positive to very negative, and that's pretty frustrating. or you're in class and get on a brilliant idea-tangent, when the prof informs you that it's time to let others talk. what? dammit. i just figured out what i want to say...

plus you guys don't see the downside for extraverts as much because it happens when we're alone and/or don't have anything to engage with. you don't really often get to see us getting stressed out and wound up and exhausted and the unpleasant tangle of energy grappling to get out. cause if you're with us, we're probably on and engaged! but while you're happy and alone and recharging, i'm getting lost in a negative soup of dark emotion and thought and feeling like my insides want to break away and fly and find something to do and someone to interact with and a way to bring back life and color and light before i drown in the craziness inside my head. in some ways being extraverted makes you dependent, especially for an ExxP.

Yes that's very good what you said.

I've to say it has gotten easier for me with age, I am more able now to channel what I want to say and then do it in one swift blow. I keep most of the things I see nowadays to me, what has made me better too at keeping secrets. Onlytimes when someone makes you enthusiastic about something, I cant stop, then I am still all over the place
 

KDude

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Jan 26, 2010
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Nope.

Although I'm probably not that introverted, relatively speaking. I still like connecting to people probably more than some.
 

Coco

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It's not easier or harder than being an extrovert.
 

Mole

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Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
The Immature and the Mature Introvert

It is hard being an immature introvert, but it is satisfying to be a mature introvert.

Mature introverts have a great deal to offer, so how do we move from being an immature introvert to a mature introvert?

The surprising key is learning to relax, and in particular, learning to relax in trying circumstances.

The book I found most helpful in learning to relax my body and my mind is, "Relief Without Drugs", by Ainslie Mears.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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Some things are probably more difficult for introverts, but I find far more are much, much easier. On balance, then, I would not wish to be anything else, but I hope I would feel the same way were I an extravert - comfortable in who I am.
 

Litvyak

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plus you guys don't see the downside for extraverts as much because it happens when we're alone and/or don't have anything to engage with. you don't really often get to see us getting stressed out and wound up and exhausted and the unpleasant tangle of energy grappling to get out. cause if you're with us, we're probably on and engaged! but while you're happy and alone and recharging, i'm getting lost in a negative soup of dark emotion and thought and feeling like my insides want to break away and fly and find something to do and someone to interact with and a way to bring back life and color and light before i drown in the craziness inside my head. in some ways being extraverted makes you dependent, especially for an ExxP.

I've never seen it like that, very interesting. Then again, people don't really care what you do in your alone time until you're active, energetic and on the move while being in a group. The demons of extraversion are less visible, while 'I' flaws are immediately exposed, so maybe they are more protective of their ego and take more efforts to appear strong.
 

Rasofy

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I love being an I.
Once i partially overcame shyness my life got much better.
I've learned to apreciate my detached nature. It makes me more independent and less susceptible to unwanted influences.
 

Fluffywolf

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Being introvert is kind of natural to me. I don't think I can be anything else. So I don't have to do a thing in order to be introverted.

All in all, that makes it pretty easy.
 

OrangeAppled

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It's only "hard" in the sense that while I understand Es and their needs, I find they understand me & my needs far less. The only time this is a real issue is in a social situation where my brain is maxed out & I'm being held hostage by some E who doesn't want to go home, or I'm being judged negatively for becoming very quiet and/or going home early. I don't turn down invites so much anymore, so E resentment against me for that has lessened.

Otherwise, I like being an introvert & don't see anymore disadvantages to it than being an E (which has its own disadvantages). Being shy, however, is hard. That I do not wish on anyone.
 

ICUP

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I think my particular situation is difficult (istp, 6w5). Mainly because I have no heart or gut to guide me; I must find guidance from other people, facts, and information. So everything has to be analyzed upside down, sideways, and end-to-end before drawing any kind of conclusion. I doubt everything, even a conclusion, and that always changes too. So yea, sometimes I envy people who can be so sure so easily, and I think it would be "the easy life" to be that way lol...... It cracks me up tho, because from my perspective, other types can be so sure of something and so sure they are being logical and rational, when they are using information to back up a decision made from the heart or gut, and/or based on feeling. When you've got nothing else to go on, your search for the truth can be never-ending and always unsure, and it pretty much assures that you have to find information and read in order to feel secure, whereas, other types have that choice because they trust themselves. Everything looks so untrue for reasons I've found. Such is the life of a skeptic.....and eventually, I think I just say "screw it" sometimes and make a blind guess. I think I find it fun to break my own rules, and I realize that somebody somewhere believes it's a good, rational decision lol :smile: I think at some point I realized that there were untruths to everything under the sun and that no one can ever be completely trusted. Nothing is ever 100%. There is no way I can believe anything totally because 100% just doesn't exist anywhere, and that leads to a lot of confusion in my world in making decisions and drawing conclusions, and in looking for something to believe in. So far, I think I trust myself to believe in nothing lmfao. But I think I've gotten to the point where I can believe in something 75% and call it a day. So yea, I think it would be easier even to be other I's. I'm glad I am me, however. Then there are those times when I just say "screw it all" and go act from 7 for awhile, and that's another story (counterphob'ing it lol)....... It becomes difficult because it is hard to act on a conclusion or decision you can never be sure of. Other people are acting from a much more solid basis than I can ever have. And then I suppose the 75% factor comes in where I just say, "well, I am now sure enough", and that's the way it has to be.

Basically, religion = none. My parents were shocked when I told them that I didn't share their beliefs on religion. They just assumed I did. I went through the motions, but I never believed it. So scratch that for support. Friends = very hard to come by. I have a hard time believing that most people are trustworthy enough, that if I got in a bad situation, they would be there. I don't trust most people to do the right thing and to protect themselves and others. Significant other = same thing. I have to accept that because of certain things they do, I can only trust them 75% at best. If they can offer enough to make it worth it, then I'll go for it but I will never trust them, and I won't be the least bit shocked when I find out they are doing something to harm the relationship, or when they do something directly to harm it. I basically accept anything and am not shocked or hurt when it happens lol...... So, basically, my life isn't all that easy, and yes, sometimes I wish I could just go run off to the pretty lights, but the great thing about it is, I do temporarily haha. (Not extreme, but to me, it's enough to let go and renew myself).

As far as the bullet items listed initially, I think at one time or another, I felt all these things, but it was mainly from youth to young-adulthood. I think I started getting over them around about age 30-ish, when I realized that all those things were okay. It's okay that other people don't understand me. It's okay that they think I am antisocial. etc. etc. I'm okay with that. I think this happened when I went out and met alot of people, and found out I preferred to be without them lmao. I like people okay, but most of them, I can't maintain, and don't really want to. I love my alone time and I don't want to be more extroverted. I've tried it and it wasn't for me. I prefer having a few people in my life who play needed roles and are worth a lot to me. My time is valuable.
 

Mole

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Introverts are like a fine wine that matures over time, while extroverts are like bubbly champagne. So introverts can reach a rich old age while extroverts need to be drunk while young.
 

copperfish17

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Well I've never really thought about this issue so I think I can assume I'm perfectly fine with being an introvert.

People assuming that I'm shy, socially inept etc. used to bother me but not anymore. My logic is that if you're someone who doesn't bother to find out the truth, then you're mostly likely not someone I'd like to get to know.
 

Patches

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Being an introvert is easy in my opinion. Makes like simpler.
 

Lethe

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For me, personally, no. At least in the way it is described by the OP. Once I stopped expecting myself to be an extrovert, it was easier to accept the idea that I needed more solitary time and space than the average person I'd meet in real life.

External misinterpretation of my personality rarely bothers me -- what people think of me plays little role in how I feel about myself. Nonetheless, being at peace with myself, is a concept that sometimes seem elusive to me, because I'm always striving for self-improvement -- perhaps loosing sight of who I am when I go too far.

The only thing that does peeve me about being introverted, is the fact I often require more time to 'study' a new topic. I need to learn something in depth and personalize the information before I can adequately use it.
 

esidebill

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Personally, I like being an introvert. I don't see a problem with enjoying your own company! I even gave it a name.
 
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I don't really want to be an extrovert but it'd be nice to be more balanced. I'm pretty extreme in my introversion and introversion is really looked down on by society (oh you're unfriendly, you have no social skills, you're boring, you're snobby, you're a bad team player, etc etc etc)
This. It's only ever a problem when I have to put on a show for all the extroverts.
 

skylights

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god i hate extraverts they are so superficial and demanding, they couldn't possibly understand my complex introverted needs of extra alone time and not being put on the spot!
 

Giggly

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I only scored 2 on the Introvert scale so I'm close to the middle.

I'm one of those introverts who NEEDS alone time, but doesn't really WANT alone time. What I mean by that is that I hate that I feel drained by people after a while and need a break. I rather just be on all the time and never get tired of it.

But, really, the thing I hate most is being so introspective. I wish I were less of that. On the surface it seems like a good trait to have but in reality I don't feel like it benefits me in any important way. I generally prefer all the extroverted functions over the introverted functions.
 
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