• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

People who have a polarizing effect

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'd say the same for ISTP as well. Generally speaking, they're down to earth and unassuming. And when some can be obtrusive, they're really not.. It's like they might state a point where they think you're wrong, but stand back with a wait and see approach. They're just as amused with letting people go about and failing.

Yes, I agree. I think the worst thing I've ever heard anyone say about an ISFP or an ISTP is that they're a bit "weird", or they don't "get them", or they're a bit "flaky", etc. But nothing worse, and generally they are well liked and viewed as quirky, fun, and easy to get along with.

I wonder if ISTP might be a tiny bit more likely to have that polarizing effect, as I think they might be somewhat more likely to behave in a manner perceived as inconsiderate of others' feelings.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I am like that, and skylights and shortsie made similar comments. It pushes me to make an effort to keep things smooth and pleasant, occasionally to the extent that I'm over-accommodating or slightly doormattish (though I'm better at finding a balance on this than I used to be.) So perhaps it is about that more so than type specifically, as it's not just certain types who want to get along with everyone...

:yes:

or at least, that drive can override type inclinations, i would think.

i definitely have some thoughts in my head that would be rather polarizing should i express them, but i usually just choose not to... though i think it ends up backfiring a little sometimes in that i can give someone else too much leeway, and then when they don't extend the same kindness to me, i get extra angry not just for them being a jerk but also for taking advantage of what i've given them.

Also, I'm only going to be critical or angry with someone I feel fairly close to (typical INFJ) and again, I try to be diplomatic (unless I'm extremely angry) and I also try to be fair and am willing to criticize myself in a situation as well as other people.

i'm basically like that also, unless pushed really far.

i vote ISFP for least polarizing as well. most people can easily relate to them, i think, and they tend to be kind to most people. I makes them a listener, S grounded, and F and P willing to accommodate a little to meet others. ISTPs are usually cool and laid back, but they have more of an "edge".
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
I would vote ISFJ. I think anyone with Fi is automatically more likely to be polarizing.
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I would vote ISFJ. I think anyone with Fi is automatically more likely to be polarizing.

Do you mean dominant Fi or just "Fi users"? Regardless, I don't think it's quite that simple.

ISFPs and INFPs are dominant Fi but most of the time they kind, gentle, and accepting people. I don't see either type as very polarizing except maybe when a strong value of theirs has been crossed.

ESTPs and ENTPs are not "Fi users" but these types often come across as polarizing. Some ESTPs come across as rather blunt and tactless and ENTPs tend to start controversial debates for the fun of it.

ISFJs aren't very polarizing in general. Usually they try to be polite and considerate. However, some ISFJs once you get to know them well, start coming across as more rigid in the way they want things done and can be somewhat manipulative regarding emotions (usually the less healthy once). So in that sense they can be polarizing.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Yes, I agree. I think the worst thing I've ever heard anyone say about an ISFP or an ISTP is that they're a bit "weird", or they don't "get them", or they're a bit "flaky", etc. But nothing worse, and generally they are well liked and viewed as quirky, fun, and easy to get along with.

I wonder if ISTP might be a tiny bit more likely to have that polarizing effect, as I think they might be somewhat more likely to behave in a manner perceived as inconsiderate of others' feelings.

Nah, ISTPs can be assholes. This is just you guys' perception and experience.

I agree about ISFPs, for the most part, but then you have people like Eminem.

I don't think there's any type that is exempt from polarizing behavior.
 

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
Nah, ISTPs can be assholes. This is just you guys' perception and experience.

I agree about ISFPs, for the most part, but then you have people like Eminem.

I don't think there's any type that is exempt from polarizing behavior.

Sure, anyone can be an asshole, but I think even when ISTPs are questionable, or hell, even criminal, they're not very proactive with people like that.

I don't know. The word "polarizing" kind of throws me off. It signifies some kind of drama queen. At worst, they could be screwed up, hurting people through selfish actions.. collateral damage if you will. That could be polarizing, I suppose.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Do you mean dominant Fi or just "Fi users"? Regardless, I don't think it's quite that simple.

ISFPs and INFPs are dominant Fi but most of the time they kind, gentle, and accepting people. I don't see either type as very polarizing except maybe when a strong value of theirs has been crossed.

ESTPs and ENTPs are not "Fi users" but these types often come across as polarizing. Some ESTPs come across as rather blunt and tactless and ENTPs tend to start controversial debates for the fun of it.

ISFJs aren't very polarizing in general. Usually they try to be polite and considerate. However, some ISFJs once you get to know them well, start coming across as more rigid in the way they want things done and can be somewhat manipulative regarding emotions (usually the less healthy once). So in that sense they can be polarizing.

I agree that ISFJs are probably the least polarizing because they're the most likely to accept group harmony without rebelling against it (which ISFP is more likely to do) and are going to be less obtrusive about enforcing it than ESFJ.

I agree that IxFPs can be kind, gentle, accepting people...but then you have Kurt Cobain. I don't know sometimes why people think Fi doms are so innocent, they can be jerks just like anyone else, except they tend to either go away or find their own space, which is why they can be seen as less bothersome.

I act like an INFP a lot in person, like for example in my living situation - I make myself scarce except for when I'm being nice or friendly, if I don't like something my roommates are doing I just adjust and go away or do things to make things more tolerable for me (i.e. earplugs) rather than trying to enforce my values on them. On the other hand, if a major value is crossed (like one day I thought some pills on the ground would hurt the housepets and one of my roommates was laughing about it and being like "well that's on you") I got super pissed and that's out of character for me. I could be quiet and easy to get along with for months, then suddenly tell somebody they're being selfish and immature because they don't care about the health of the animals.

I'm guessing a lot of FPs are like this in general, it's one of the reasons why I questioned my introversion/extroversion because ever since high school if I don't like something...usually I go away and disappear, or I'll make a fuss on rare occasions where shit is just totally out of control or seriously violating my vaules.

On the other hand, a lot of my behavior seems more ENFP, especially on-line I'm a lot more opinionated and combative, and I was the same way in college - I'd always talk in class, speak up, and debate and argue with people. I also tend to initiate more and will be very expressive around people I'm comfortable with. I can also be loud sometimes, depending on the situation.

I'm like an xNFP.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Sure, anyone can be an asshole, but I think even when ISTPs are questionable, or hell, even criminal, they're not very proactive with people like that.

I don't know. The word "polarizing" kind of throws me off. It signifies some kind of drama queen. At worst, they could be screwed up, hurting people through selfish actions.. collateral damage if you will. That could be polarizing, I suppose.

Polarizing just means some people strongly like you, and others strongly dislike you...whether that means you're a drama queen, a control freak, or an asshole who's always being rough and rowdy without consideration for others (which an STP is more likely to do)....you can be polarizing.
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
I have found people of all types to be polarizing. Either they are having some kind of "moment" or they feed on drama like a carnivorous worm.

It's all about individuals and where they each are at in their life stages. I had to give my 60+ year old ESTJ aunt a "time-out" at her mother's funeral a few years ago because I had had enough of the drama.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
I think we get into type pairings (more like triplets) when we get into polarization. Two opposites INTP-ESFJ setting up the polar ends and then a third, or more caught in between that. Even then we get into loyalities and such. Personal values in those between the two ends, some that don't care and remove themselves from between the ends, others make their own view completely neutral forming a triangle.

Also we can view an ENFP in-between the two ends and see if they polarize the two and perhaps push the two ends closer together, joining forces against this foreign belief. I'm rambling.
 

Crescent Fresh

Diving into Ni-space
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
802
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
i vote ISFP for least polarizing as well. most people can easily relate to them, i think, and they tend to be kind to most people. I makes them a listener, S grounded, and F and P willing to accommodate a little to meet others. ISTPs are usually cool and laid back, but they have more of an "edge".

I definitely agree with this. I have never seen anyone more tolerate and kind than my mother, who's an ISFP.

She has seven siblings and they all adore her so much while the rest among them didn't get along with each other too well. She's also the mediator when conflicts arise.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I definitely agree with this. I have never seen anyone more tolerate and kind than my mother, who's an ISFP.

She has seven siblings and they all adore her so much while the rest among them didn't get along with each other too well. She's also the mediator when conflicts arise.

My sister is ISFJ, I'm pretty sure, and she's the same in my family. She could be ISFP, but she seems to have the selfless quality associated with ISFJ. She's the least obtrusive person in my family.

My ENFJ sister is more of "the mediator" though, god bless her, I really do love my ENFJ, I do, she puts a lot of effort into us.

But the ISFJ is the sweetest, most gentle, easy to get along with person. Maybe she's ISFP. I've never gotten her to take the test.

I really think ISFJ though. It's like she lives to do things for other people, to the point of self-sacrifice. It's really over-the-top at times. She had this really tremendous work ethic, too, when she was younger before she became a stay-at-home mom.

Then me, my mom, and my third sister are ALL ExFPs. Mom is ESFP, I'm ENFP, and my third sister has gotten ENFP on a test but I've questioned whether she's ENFP or ESFP, honestly. She's more fact based than theoretical and just has a lot of ESxP qualities.
 

Viridian

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
3,036
MBTI Type
IsFJ
My sister is ISFJ, I'm pretty sure, and she's the same in my family. She could be ISFP, but she seems to have the selfless quality associated with ISFJ. She's the least obtrusive person in my family.

My ENFJ sister is more of "the mediator" though, god bless her, I really do love my ENFJ, I do, she puts a lot of effort into us.

But the ISFJ is the sweetest, most gentle, easy to get along with person. Maybe she's ISFP. I've never gotten her to take the test.

I really think ISFJ though. It's like she lives to do things for other people, to the point of self-sacrifice. It's really over-the-top at times. She had this really tremendous work ethic, too, when she was younger before she became a stay-at-home mom.

Then me, my mom, and my third sister are ALL ExFPs. Mom is ESFP, I'm ENFP, and my third sister has gotten ENFP on a test but I've questioned whether she's ENFP or ESFP, honestly. She's more fact based than theoretical and just has a lot of ESxP qualities.

Your ISFJ sister could be a 9w1, which is actually a pretty common type among ISFJs... They're less "on your face" than ISFJ 2s, I'd say.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'd nominate ISFP. Just a guess, but they seem to be the type who are fairly low-key and mostly well-liked, but those who don't particularly like them are unlikely to dislike them - more that they'd slip under the radar.

Probably true...until you cross their values.
I definitely find ISFPs probably the most "likeable" out of all types, and they can typically fit into any group and be liked.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
I agree with everybody that isfp are the least polarizing and by far the best type. All other types pale in comparison. 
 

Sunny Ghost

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,396
I'd nominate ISFP. Just a guess, but they seem to be the type who are fairly low-key and mostly well-liked, but those who don't particularly like them are unlikely to dislike them - more that they'd slip under the radar.
Generally it's loud ESTP women that don't like me... and it's usually a matter of them thinking I'm weird or too innocent. And that seems to piss them off. I've had a few ESTP alpha female types that really bullied me. So, I suppose it's because we're polar opposites.

I'd say the same for ISTP as well. Generally speaking, they're down to earth and unassuming. And when some can be obtrusive, they're really not.. It's like they might state a point where they think you're wrong, but stand back with a wait and see approach. They're just as amused with letting people go about and failing.
I knew an immature ISTP once that was a bit polar... she's changed now, but it is possible. It was like she enjoyed opening people's wounds. She's really cool these days.

Yes, I agree. I think the worst thing I've ever heard anyone say about an ISFP or an ISTP is that they're a bit "weird", or they don't "get them", or they're a bit "flaky", etc. But nothing worse, and generally they are well liked and viewed as quirky, fun, and easy to get along with.

I wonder if ISTP might be a tiny bit more likely to have that polarizing effect, as I think they might be somewhat more likely to behave in a manner perceived as inconsiderate of others' feelings.
I've met unhealthy ISFP's and ISTP's. Either is capable of being polarizing if insecure. I know a lot of very cool ISFP's... and I know a lot of not very cool ISFP's-- and it's always due to insecure Fi. Victim mentalities, emotional instability. It's funny the many different ways Fi can go.

I would vote ISFJ. I think anyone with Fi is automatically more likely to be polarizing.
Thing is, Fe can be quite manipulative when unhealthy, too. I've known one ISFJ that was a bit polarizing. She's still young, so maybe she'll grow out of it one day.

Do you mean dominant Fi or just "Fi users"? Regardless, I don't think it's quite that simple.

ISFPs and INFPs are dominant Fi but most of the time they kind, gentle, and accepting people. I don't see either type as very polarizing except maybe when a strong value of theirs has been crossed.

ESTPs and ENTPs are not "Fi users" but these types often come across as polarizing. Some ESTPs come across as rather blunt and tactless and ENTPs tend to start controversial debates for the fun of it.

ISFJs aren't very polarizing in general. Usually they try to be polite and considerate. However, some ISFJs once you get to know them well, start coming across as more rigid in the way they want things done and can be somewhat manipulative regarding emotions (usually the less healthy once). So in that sense they can be polarizing.
I've known an INFP that was polarizing... at least with me. She also had insecure Fi, and I think had jealousy issues when it came to me. We dated the same guy which is how we knew each other... and I suppose is a bad way to become introduced with anyone.



I personally think any healthy introverted type is likely to be least polarizing. Just as they're less in others faces with their opinions and etc. They're less likely to upset anyone.


However, I still don't get how I sometimes have a polarizing presence. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Like I said, once people actually get to know me, there's almost never dislike. People generally like me. But I can't help but think I give off some vibe.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
However, I still don't get how I sometimes have a polarizing presence. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Like I said, once people actually get to know me, there's almost never dislike. People generally like me. But I can't help but think I give off some vibe.

I think everyone is polarizing to a certain extent. Comes hand in hand with having a style, a personal flavour.

Thinking back to obvious cases of dislike. A lot of the time people who didn't like me were guys that accused me of trying on some cool thing. Which was never true and always amused me. Then others saw me as quiet. Lately I must have evened out or not notice, I don't see any not liking of me. I see levels of like.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I don't think I've had anyone really dislike me for a long time, unless I'm really oblivious to it. I think some people are weirded out if I get intense about literature and that sort of thing, and might back off. And the occasional person has heard me moaning about how miserable I'm feeling about life, even just for a moment, and I think they've concluded I'm a downer.

However, I have had a few people tell me that when they first met me they thought I was a bit "scary" or "intimidating." I do give off an initial vibe to some people about having a "presence" or being "strong". But I think that has everything to do with being six feet tall and having a deep voice. They always seem to say "then I found out you were really sweet and cool" ;) It does make me a bit sad though because I wonder if some people just see this very tall woman with the booming voice and keep their distance - especially some scaredy-cat men!

I think ISFJs are right up there with the non-polarizing thing too, but they may be more likely than ISFPs to get judgmental or uptight, which could put some people off.
 
Top