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  1. #21
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    This sort of thing happens to my ESFP sister. She always tells me about how some person or other started a verbal spat with her, or tried to sabotage her, or just in general has it out for her. I always thought that she was lying/exaggerating to create drama, but it happens so often (and she has such extreme reactions to it) that it probably is real. It doesn't help that she refuses to approach the situation calmly; instead, she reacts aggressively and carries shit on and on.

    I've never really had such problems.
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  2. #22
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    most polarizing MBTI types:
    1) ENTJ
    2) ENFP
    3) ESTP
    4) INTJ
    5) ESTJ

    most polarizing enneatypes
    1) 8w7
    2) 1w9
    3) 7w8
    4) 3w4
    5) 8w9

    I am polarizing as hell and proud of it.
    *im tempted to go into my whole life story here as to why I am polarizing, but out of common courtesy, I'll save if for my blog for anyone who wants to read it
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  3. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I definitely don't fall into this category. I think that in terms of MBTI and enneagram it is people who are sx-first, or possibly ExxPs...generally, anyway.
    Wouldnt it be ExxJ? E because they'll be likely to express ideas, J because people hate judgementalism and if there's one commandment in the modern world its Thy Shalt Not Make A Value Judgement

  4. #24
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    From what you've all commented it does seem to be a bit more of an E thing overall and maybe somewhat more ExxP. However, the common theme with those of us who don't generally have this effect seems to be an eagerness to "be liked" and to get along with others.

    I am like that, and skylights and shortsie made similar comments. It pushes me to make an effort to keep things smooth and pleasant, occasionally to the extent that I'm over-accommodating or slightly doormattish (though I'm better at finding a balance on this than I used to be.) So perhaps it is about that more so than type specifically, as it's not just certain types who want to get along with everyone...

    It's not that I can't be very forceful at times, especially when I feel strongly about something. Sometimes to the extent that people are surprised, because I can be extremely honest to the point of brutality. However...I don't want to be brutal. So I usually couch the brutal honesty in the most diplomatic language possible. Also, I'm only going to be critical or angry with someone I feel fairly close to (typical INFJ) and again, I try to be diplomatic (unless I'm extremely angry) and I also try to be fair and am willing to criticize myself in a situation as well as other people.
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  5. #25
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Wouldnt it be ExxJ? E because they'll be likely to express ideas, J because people hate judgementalism and if there's one commandment in the modern world its Thy Shalt Not Make A Value Judgement
    I think extroverts in general
    ENPs who throw all of their ideas out there and demand that people listen and take a side
    ETJs who demand things be done according to plan
    EFJs who push their social expectations and feelings on everyone
    ESPs with their wild, untamed charisma that makes them either loved or hated
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  6. #26
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    EFJs? Really? None of them really seem to be the "this is how I am, now deal with it" types. And I think that attitude is sort of the foundation for this polarizing effect.
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  7. #27
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    EFJs? Really? None of them really seem to be the "this is how I am, now deal with it" types. And I think that attitude is sort of the foundation for this polarizing effect.
    Hmmmm, I knew (actually lived with) an ESFJ who was VERY much like that ("this is how I am, deal with it") and definitely had the polarizing effect - actually, sorry to say, a lot of people have ended up disliking her.

    But although I don't like to throw around the "unhealthy" label I think at least around when I lived with her, it fit - she'd gone through some difficult times and had some bad experiences, was probably depressed, had a super-strong personality anyway and kind of pushed people to react badly to her.
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  8. #28
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Hmmmm, I knew (actually lived with) an ESFJ who was VERY much like that ("this is how I am, deal with it") and definitely had the polarizing effect - actually, sorry to say, a lot of people have ended up disliking her.

    But although I don't like to throw around the "unhealthy" label I think at least around when I lived with her, it fit - she'd gone through some difficult times and had some bad experiences, was probably depressed, had a super-strong personality anyway and kind of pushed people to react badly to her.
    Yeah, you know, this is probably not type related.
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  9. #29
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    EFJs? Really? None of them really seem to be the "this is how I am, now deal with it" types. And I think that attitude is sort of the foundation for this polarizing effect.
    they're polarizing in a different way. they're polarizing in a "you should do this for your own good" or "I'm going to emotionally puke everywhere like a drama queen" sort of way
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    they're polarizing in a different way. they're polarizing in a "you should do this for your own good" or "I'm going to emotionally puke everywhere like a drama queen" sort of way
    lol...emotional "puking" is not necessarily an EFJ thing...in fact, some EFJs are so concerned with image and how other people feel that they wouldn't dream of having a meltdown unless it was in front of very trusted individuals.

    EFJs, unless they're very comfortable in dominating their environment, can be towel-biters, just like IFJs. They put on their "game face."

    I mean, of course EFJs *can* do this...but so can EFPs, and I honestly think EFPs are more likely to really not give a shit who they get "expressive" in front of, don't kid yourself, honey.

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