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  1. #11
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    As far as theory goes, I'd expect extroverts to polarize more, as the extroverted attitude is one that seeks to affect & be affected by the external world/other people.

    From my observations, Fi-doms usually inspire neutral indifference from people. ESFPs though - they get reactions. My ESFP sister is always complaining that she can't be invisible even when she wants to, and I've had times in life where I was a bit sad over how invisible I tend to be.

    I am always very surprised when anyone has a strong reaction to me. I'm not used to being adored or hated by people. I slip below most people's radar easily. Being quiet, I do get projected onto, but it's usually a form of dismissal at worst, or if it's faintly positive, then they write me off as harmless. It could be because I am an sp-dom, and quite withdrawn socially....

    Most Ni-doms I've known polarize people. My INFJ in particular finds people like him a lot or dislike him immediately "for no good reason", but he also forms distinct impressions of people (tending to like/dislike with little gray area), so maybe people react to him the way he reacts to them (it's a dynamic that feeds itself). Come to think of it, P-doms in general seem more likely to do polarize people, but that's just my experience. I'd have to think more about it to see if there is any real link to personality type...
    I think Exxxs are definitely more likely to polarize.

    Ni is so interior in a lot of ways that it would surprise me if it had a polarizing effect, but I think your assessment above about the INFJ could be correct - they react to him the way he reacts to them.

    In my case I think the Ni manifests most strongly in the sort of intellectual/artistic connections that I make, mostly inwardly. It also manifests in my internal struggles when I'm trying to figure out a complex situation in my mind, or why I've reacted to something a certain way, etc. I relate to people very much through Fe, and I do tend to do the diplomat/placating/let's all just get along sort of thing. So it's unlikely that I would polarize people.

    I think that a lot of Ni-doms use their Ni to make strong judgments about others and what they are like, sometimes to the point of saying "my intuition is never wrong about what others are like" and that sort of thing. That sort of Ni use would be more likely to polarize, I think.

    When it's your friends and acquaintances who have a polarizing effect, rather than you yourself, sometimes it's a bit hard to know what's going on. A lot has to do with how the individual perceives things, of course. One of my friends, who is a likely ENFP, reacts very very intensely to perceived slights and will tell me that the friend in question totally let her down, rejected her, stabbed her in the back, or whatever. But in many cases (though not all) she forgives quite quickly and they're friends again. So it makes me think that "she rejected me" and these sorts of comments should be taken with a grain of salt. Or she'll say "all those mutual acquaintances of ours HATED ME"...but I seriously doubt that was the case, from anything I ever saw or heard. I think most of them were just indifferent to her, but she took that as open hatred and rejection, which I wouldn't do.

    Then again, sometimes others have gossiped directly to me about these people, or said "I used to be friends with her but just couldn't any more" or whatever, so obviously the polarizing thing isn't all just in the individuals' minds. It's just really hard to know sometimes.
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  2. #12
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    hm. i self-type ExxP and sx but i don't really think i have a very polarizing effect...

    i think in general i like to be liked, which is probably why i am not very polarizing. i also tend to keep my dislike for others private because making it public burns useful bridges and creates more discord than necessary. it's sort of a philosophical thing, too. all people are going to have certain incompatibilities with others, and that doesn't make either person bad, it just means we have conflicting personalities and/or priorities. just because we don't get along well, doesn't mean we can't maintain some kind of general harmony. we just need to work in tandem instead of interacting.

    when i can get very polarizing is ethical issues...

    for example, with friends, i feel like once you're very close with someone, that carries some extra responsibilities with it - like checking up with one another at least every once in a while, not suddenly ditching without explanation, defending you against others who are being cruel to you without clear reason, not attacking the people you love or hang out with or the institutions you support, etc... because if they're going to do those kinds of things, i don't want to be close with them! it's not "either you're with me or you're against me", but it's "either you're with me or you're not". if you're not, that's cool, we can still be friends, but you're not gonna be in my inner trust sanctum. i've basically laid it out like that before, which i figure is pretty polarizing.

    also with ethics, after an issue hits a certain point, i stop caring about who hears it, because i prioritize my ethical agenda over my social position. being mean to a developmentally delayed kid, for example. don't do that. i publically told off a man for it, once - smack in the middle of a huge crowd - it made a little scene, and he was pissed. oh well. sucks to be him.

    all maybe... 5-10? people IRL i can identify who i know for sure really don't like me fall into the above two categories. if there are more, i don't know about them.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled
    My INFJ in particular finds people like him a lot or dislike him immediately "for no good reason", but he also forms distinct impressions of people (tending to like/dislike with little gray area), so maybe people react to him the way he reacts to them (it's a dynamic that feeds itself).
    i've noticed this about Ni users in general. i imagine it's a bidirectional thing in terms of process, but yeah, a lot of times they don't like certain people and those people don't like them.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    ENFP Sx too.

    I have been known to have a polarizing effect. Not always. There are times in my life where I was a bit more hidden, depending on the group I was with. But anyone that knows me well is usually polarized. I know I have a strong personality. I wear many of my thoughts and feelings on my sleeve. Unlike an introvert, there are quite a few times that I just babble off and bloviate in person.. when It might have been better for me to stop and think about the impact. I tend to think most strong personalitys can lead to a polarizing effect. I don't know if its always Extroverts though. I've known a few ISTJ's that people either loved or hated. Unhealhty Fi might be correlated to it, but I would guess that any REALLY unhealthy function would derive a strong responce, be it positive or negative. The people that have tended to not like me in person are people with strong opinions that disagree with me. Such is life. It's a good thing to come to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to like you.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  4. #14
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    I can be quite polarizing, partially as marm said I am opinionated/big personality but much more so because I refuse to stand down on topics where pushing forward will achieve a better resolution-ie I have a moral drive of some sort. At work the ESTPs shun me, but the ESFPs and ESTJs call me heroic.

    On the MBTI step II there is a section where the call out "highly questioning feelers" most of which are NFPs. This subgroup will choose to question others, even if it disrupts harmony as the best answer needs to be the most correct answer. Alas, I belong here...however I am working on this, as sometimes the most correct answer just isnt worth the discord. If it isnt something that I have a vested stake in, it is best to let the others do it half assed it seems, and let others suffer....I cant save the world.

    INTJs can be quite polarizing as well. Yesterday I was chatting with an INTJ at work. She doesnt care what anybody thinks about her and will stand up and get the job done, even if people hate her. I do care what people think/feel but sometimes I am driven to push past that and stand up and get the job done anyways, but then feel the whiplash of others' dislike as a result. Makes me wish I worked for an NTJ.

  5. #15
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I'm actually less polarizing than I think that I would be with my temperament. (if variants have anything to do with it at all, I'm sp/sx.) I'm quite verbal and don't always follow protocols and often am very honest. However, I need to be liked, and that usually takes precedence over any opinions that I have. I'm not extremely opinionated either, I can usually relate to a lot of people, and can adhere to social etiquette. I'm usually cheerful, smiling, and polite. I am on most people's good side.
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  6. #16
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I think Exxxs are definitely more likely to polarize.
    Are they more likely to polarize or are they merely easier to blame/scapegoat (build a believable story against) when things ‘go wrong’? I don’t know I am just wondering. Especially with regards to ExxPs.

  7. #17
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    I'm polarizing. Sometimes all I have to do is just stand there (and no, this isn't paranoia). Apparently I have this spiritual/off beat vibe, it either instantly irritates, or makes you go all gooey. I apparently have a very strong personality too, in spite of being quiet, some thing to do with presence (I've always had it), people know I'm in the room when I choose be known.
    It's some thing I could do without, preferring to be lover, not a fighter. Although I do call things out, when I see them. People don't like that very much, it seems.
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  8. #18
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    Sx/Sp, we rock at this.

  9. #19
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrystalViolet View Post
    I'm polarizing. Sometimes all I have to do is just stand there (and no, this isn't paranoia). Apparently I have this spiritual/off beat vibe, it either instantly irritates, or makes you go all gooey. I apparently have a very strong personality too, in spite of being quiet, some thing to do with presence (I've always had it), people know I'm in the room when I choose be known.
    It's some thing I could do without, preferring to be lover, not a fighter. Although I do call things out, when I see them. People don't like that very much, it seems.
    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    As far as theory goes, I'd expect extroverts to polarize more, as the extroverted attitude is one that seeks to affect & be affected by the external world/other people.

    From my observations, Fi-doms usually inspire neutral indifference from people. ESFPs though - they get reactions. My ESFP sister is always complaining that she can't be invisible even when she wants to, and I've had times in life where I was a bit sad over how invisible I tend to be.

    I am always very surprised when anyone has a strong reaction to me. I'm not used to being adored or hated by people. I slip below most people's radar easily. Being quiet, I do get projected onto, but it's usually a form of dismissal at worst, or if it's faintly positive, then they write me off as harmless. It could be because I am an sp-dom, and quite withdrawn socially....

    Most Ni-doms I've known polarize people. My INFJ in particular finds people like him a lot or dislike him immediately "for no good reason", but he also forms distinct impressions of people (tending to like/dislike with little gray area), so maybe people react to him the way he reacts to them (it's a dynamic that feeds itself). Come to think of it, P-doms in general seem more likely to do polarize people, but that's just my experience. I'd have to think more about it to see if there is any real link to personality type...
    Less an Ni-dom thing, and perhaps more an INFJ thing. INTJ's typically slip under most people's radars.

    But going off your description here of polarizing affects, I do wonder if I have one as well. Much like crystalviolet, though I'm often a quieter and friendly personality, I seem to always feel noticed. It's really strange that when it comes to strangers, I often feel as though I get a diss vibe. People that take the time to get to know me, generally always like me. I can't think of many instances in which someone actually got to know my personality and didn't like me. And if they did dislike me, it was because I was "goody two shoes" or "weird." (For as much as I've partied and experimented with drugs and smoke, etc... somehow people always seem to think of me as pure or innocent.) But with strangers that don't know me, somehow I give off something that apparently isn't very appealing. One of my ex's even noticed and commented on this. He said, "It's weird, you're always friendly and yet total strangers will treat you like crap. I don't get it. Maybe you're unlucky?" I make great attempts to smile and be very friendly when dealing with cashiers and etc in places, and it generally goes one way or another. So, I suppose I do have a polarizing affect on people that don't know me. And it has something to do with presence and not my personality. I'm always trying to figure it out, what vibe am I giving off? Do I come off as though I'm judging, or as too-cool-for-school? IDK.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I'm an ExxP and an sx-dom and I have a polarizing effect, I did even more so when I was very young.

    I think it can be because we're so openly opinionated or have "big personalities." Like a lot of ESTP men get on my last nerve with their shenanigans, so I can only imagine how I bug people with my ENFP opinions.

    My mother - ESFP - is like this, too. People either cringe when they see her coming or think she's warm and funny. It's funny because she has this big personality, and she really should know it, especially since she used to do things when she was younger like make little dramatic noises when she yawned and things, but her feelings get hurt when she realizes the Christian Coalition is against her. I really don't get why she cares. In my mind, "yeah those sorts of people are gonna hate me, and it's their problem for having sticks up thier asses" but she still seems to be more bothered by it. Maybe I have higher self-esteem than my mother. That's sad.
    Most ESFP's do generally have this affect. One of my closest friends is an ESFP, and of all the ESFP's I know is probably the most polarizing person I know as well. She's generally very friendly, but has a tendency to go against female norm's I suppose and likes to friend international students who generally find going against female norm's disrespectful. She also always refuses to back down from her positions, be it her thoughts, words, actions, which I believe people find aggravating as well. And like other ESFP's I know, can be a bit of a psychic vampire, forgetting the give and take of conversation. But she's working on this. But outside of these things, she's always incredibly friendly and will never criticize a person for who they are, no matter how nerdy or silly they are. And so she also always makes lots of friends, too. I suppose you either love her or you hate her. But more than anyone I know, she creates groups of people that will have complete hatred towards her.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    I think insecurity leads to jealousy, and jealousy leads to all the bad deeds.

    So I definitely agree with IndyAnnaJoan.
    Insecure Fi=This.
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    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
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  10. #20
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Who knows, I may have a polarizing effect without knowing that I do. Wouldn't be the last time I might look like I am pushing others without knowing it myself.

    I generally, in real life, keep my opinions to myself. I am probably a lot more judgmental than I come off to be. I just don't show it. It is like talking politics with someone, most people will say to not even go there (yes, I can be quite polarizing when it comes to politics.) Not sure... I come off as neutral or something. Of all things, most people don't really have a good or bad opinion about me since I don't show much anyways. Probably a lot different when it comes to online interaction.

    However, if the other person becomes polarizing, I'll become polarizing towards that person. Don't push me, and I won't push back/you. Don't rub me the wrong way.

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