S vs N difficulties

[gromit]

Seems like some people have issues with communication across the S/N divide. Is it common, I wonder? Do you have significant problems communicating with or understanding people who are not of your communication style (for lack of a better term S/N)?

 

[gromit]

The whole S/N still confuses me a bit. Sometimes my conversations with people are more concrete, sometimes they are more speculative... depends on the person, mood, context, etc.

 

[stalemate]

I notice some differences, but I would not say it causes "significant difficulties."

 

[Qlip]

I have had communication difficulties in the past with an S. Most of it had to do with complete misunderstandings as to where each other was coming from. As far as I could tell, she would get annoyed with me talking a lot about things that didn't seem relevant to the situation her and I always thought she was holding out on me. A specific example is when we wanted to make a Japanese garden and I kept going on about symbolism in design and the flow and all she really wanted was a koi fish pond and a bridge.

 

[stalemate]

Actually, I'm not even sure if things are S vs N half the time. Here is an example of a recent communication difficulty. On Friday, a coworker walked up to me crying. I said "what's wrong?" and she replied "I kind of have a black eye." I started wondering how she possibly screwed up at work to get a figurative "black eye." I thought maybe she deleted some important data or caused a system crash or something, but she was not forthcoming with any more information. I was totally lost. Turns out, she had a literal black eye and it was right there in front of my face.

Other than me being a moron... what is at play here? Is it S vs N?

 

[SRT]

No, I have trouble communicating with everyone, so the S/N divide is kinda meaningless to me

 

[skylights]

Actually, I'm not even sure if things are S vs N half the time. Here is an example of a recent communication difficulty. On Friday, a coworker walked up to me crying. I said "what's wrong?" and she replied "I kind of have a black eye." I started wondering how she possibly screwed up at work to get a figurative "black eye." I thought maybe she deleted some important data or caused a system crash or something, but she was not forthcoming with any more information. I was totally lost. Turns out, she had a literal black eye and it was right there in front of my face.

Other than me being a moron... what is at play here? Is it S vs N?

i say this with love, stalemate, but this is why we have the term "sensotard"

i think you were looking for N^2 in a neutral statement.

i do that fairly often

 

[IZthe411]

Actually, I'm not even sure if things are S vs N half the time. Here is an example of a recent communication difficulty. On Friday, a coworker walked up to me crying. I said "what's wrong?" and she replied "I kind of have a black eye." I started wondering how she possibly screwed up at work to get a figurative "black eye." I thought maybe she deleted some important data or caused a system crash or something, but she was not forthcoming with any more information. I was totally lost. Turns out, she had a literal black eye and it was right there in front of my face.

Other than me being a moron... what is at play here? Is it S vs N?

See me as an S would look her in the face, and unless I saw bad make up, would then figure out how else could she mean 'black eye'. If I didn't get it at that instant, I would ask for clarification, or try to figure out what she means as she gives me more information. Seems like you started possibilities FIRST, the obvious after the fact.


When I'm in a discussion, I'm immediately assessing what they could possibly mean, using both what's there and not there. If I don't get it, eventually I have to ask. More often than not, It's clear what they mean, even if the word choice isn't straightforward.

I have an ESFJ dude here who talks like the King James Bible, and only when he gets kind of irritated is when he's the most direct and clear. I think he's a knowledgeable guy, but his communication and interpretation of what others say leaves me not able to trust him on word only. Today he came over to me and implied that he was stuck in being able to review my work because he didn't know what 'trued-up' meant.

 

[stalemate]

See me as an S would look her in the face, and unless I saw bad make up, would then figure out how else could she mean 'black eye'. If I didn't get it at that instant, I would ask for clarification, or try to figure out what she means as she gives me more information. Seems like you started possibilities FIRST, the obvious after the fact.

See, I had already looked her in the face once, and I knew she was crying. This is an extremely silly example but it illustrates I think. I knew she was crying and the thought that maybe she actually had a literal black eye probably did fly through my brain and was dismissed because I couldn't resolve it to the context. I tossed that possibility away without giving any more brain power to observing her face.

This whole thought process probably took 2-3 seconds. She didn't know I was ever confused until much later (we laughed about it). I was spinning through possibilities in my head and she interjected letting me know how she got the black eye, but if she would have just walked off, I probably would not have realized she had an actual black eye until later. And people would have understandably thought me an idiot for not knowing it since she walked right up to me with a black eye and told me about it.

 

[Rasofy]

I don't have problems understanding, i just have problems to get my points across. I voted ''no''.
I don't think the sensors that manage to care about mbti can represent a basis for a poll, but maybe that's just me being elitist.

 

[Eckhart]

Unsure. I don't seem to get along very well with people in general maybe

 

[stalemate]

i say this with love, stalemate, but this is why we have the term "sensotard"

i think you were looking for N^2 in a neutral statement.

i do that fairly often

I like it! I feel the love!

 

[Saslou]

No .. I only have communication issues with unhealthy people and they can be N or S.

 

[/DG/]

Well, I don't have great social skills to begin with, but I've never really had trouble understanding anyone in real life unless they're talking too quiet. Then I have to shout, "WHAT?? I CAN'T HEAR YOU."

However, on the forums I have a hard time understanding Victor. I suppose I could figure out his posts if I really TRIED, but I'll usually just move on. I've heard sensors here say they have no trouble understanding him, so maybe my IQ is too low.

Also some of the Ti posts are too long for my patience. I usually skim them for the main idea. That's not an S/N issue though, it's a tl;dr issue.

 

[IZthe411]

Well, I don't have great social skills to begin with, but I've never really had trouble understanding anyone in real life unless they're talking too quiet. Then I have to shout, "WHAT?? I CAN'T HEAR YOU."

However, on the forums I have a hard time understanding Victor. I suppose I could figure out his posts if I really TRIED, but I'll usually just move on. I've heard sensors here say they have no trouble understanding him, so maybe my IQ is too low.

Also some of the Ti posts are too long for my patience. I usually skim them for the main idea. That's not an S/N issue though, it's a tl;dr issue.

LOL!

I was telling ISTP staff that he writes novels where something more concise would suffice. Funny the ISTP manager praised his long winded explanations. Interesting this may be attributed to Ti.

 

[Such Irony]

What frustrates me is when people don't get to the point or throw in all this information that is not relevant to the issue at hand. I'll get customers who sound like they want assistance, so I'll start giving assistance but really they just want to chit-chat.

Sometimes I have problems when something isn't presented in a way that I learn best. For example, a boss or colleague explains to me about a project they want me to do and they spout out details that seem arbitrary and disconnected to me because they haven't even given me the big picture or the purpose yet.

So, yes, I do admit to having significant problems when the communication isn't presented in a way that's compatible with my own thinking style, but I'm learning.

 

[Such Irony]

However, on the forums I have a hard time understanding Victor. I suppose I could figure out his posts if I really TRIED, but I'll usually just move on. I've heard sensors here say they have no trouble understanding him, so maybe my IQ is too low.

Also some of the Ti posts are too long for my patience. I usually skim them for the main idea. That's not an S/N issue though, it's a tl;dr issue.

Maybe I'm not an INTP after all.

I sometimes have problems getting through Victors posts as well. Not all of them. Some I understand and find quite insightful. Others are like cryptic. Maybe its also an Ne vs. Ni thing. I think Victor has a more Ni style while I have a more Ne style.

Some of the Ti posts I find tedious to read. Like you said, I think its mostly a tl;dr thing.

 

[Phantonym]

I don't have problems understanding, i just have problems to get my points across. I voted ''no''.

Same here.

 

[Betty Blue]

i say this with love, stalemate, but this is why we have the term "sensotard"

i think you were looking for N^2 in a neutral statement.

i do that fairly often

Gah, i have sensotard moments all the time... but asides from those i can understand either s's or n's pretty well as long as there is a basic desire to communicate. Occaisionally i have difficulty getting through to sensors esp regarding abstract ideas, but usually fairly easily overcome. Certainly not extreme or excessive difficulty.

Maybe I'm not an INTP after all.

I sometimes have problems getting through Victors posts as well. Not all of them. Some I understand and find quite insightful. Others are like cryptic. Maybe its also an Ne vs. Ni thing. I think Victor has a more Ni style while I have a more Ne style.

Some of the Ti posts I find tedious to read. Like you said, I think its mostly a tl;dr thing.

Yuh, Vic is a bit like Shakespere in that sense... i get him (mostly)

 

[/DG/]

i say this with love, stalemate, but this is why we have the term "sensotard"

i think you were looking for N^2 in a neutral statement.

i do that fairly often

I hate the term "sensotard." It's called being absent-minded. I'm absent-minded all the time, but I'm still a sensor.