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  1. #1
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    Default What is the perfect match for an INFJ?

    I'm an INFJ and I have recently gotten out of a relationship with an INTJ. He and I are still very good friends and are on seemingly good terms. However I find that when I'm with him I still feel this pain. Very identical to the pain I had right before we broke up. (Why is he ignoring me, is he losing interest in me.) This is how it is when we are around other people, in fact he can be quite mean to me at times. I always know he is kidding, but I still take it very personally. But we're not going out anymore and I still feel this way. Before him I have only had one other relationship. He and I lasted for 10 months and eventually lost the spark (especially after he cheated on me). I don't feel painful around him though. Idk, I'm not looking for anyone for a rebound or anything. But so far I feel like I haven't found someone who is really meant for my type of personality. Anything I should look for?

  2. #2
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Hmm, I wonder if it's fair to paint with such a broad brush. I've always felt that similar, complementary, but slightly different points of view can be very fruitful in a relationship. But everyone's different.

    I'm sorry you went through that.

  3. #3
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    I think, technically speaking, ENTP is suppose to be a good match or something like that. But really you shouldn't try and find someone of a specific type, rather you should find someone who like you for who you are, regardless of wether they're INTJ, ENTP or whatever. So far you haven't really been in that many relationships, and it's normal for some to be really bad, but if keep you patience then you will find someone who like whom likes you back. I am sorry to hear that you relationship with that particualt INTJ didn't work well, and I wish you the best of luck in finding someone whom is nicer to you.

  4. #4
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    When it comes to relationships, toss typology out the window and go for someone you feel naturally compatible with. Be aware of when you are with someone when that little switch turns on inside your head letting you know intuitively that you feel yourself with them. Don't search for a type, search for what works for you... use that Ni.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche



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  5. #5
    Senior Member Mephistopheles's Avatar
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    Yeah, surely it's the ENTP because ENTP is THE perfect match for EVERYONE, didn't you know that?

    Now, in honesty, I don't think it makes sense to think to much about the types of potential partners; In the worst case, you're maybe excluding people solely on the base of their type although you would fit perfectly. More important are imho whether they're honest, whether you think they're funny, etc. actually, the typical stuff. But I'm just a socially awkward youngster, so I have to admit I don't have much experience.^^
    They say I only think in form of crunching numbers.....
    -Fall Out Boy

  6. #6
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    It depends on what a person wants/needs. Someone to see eye to eye with, someone who helps make up for weaknesses, or someone who slightly makes up for weaknesses and relays things back in your own "language"..?

    If two people were mature and not too self-absorbed, I think our opposites make good friends. INFJs/INTJs =ESTPs/ESFPs.

    Of course, I've come to the conclusion that many people here don't have the slightest clue on how noble ESFPs can be specifically, and will disagree with me out of pure hatred.

  7. #7
    Tier 1 Member LunaLuminosity's Avatar
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    Yeah, my advice is not to listen to that "perfect type match" stuff. And yeah, the theories floating around say INFJ/ENTP, but no, ENTPs are definitely not for everyone (as much as we'd like to wish....)

    Anyway, person first; type later. Find someone you like and who feels like they wouldn't hurt you, whomever that may be. As far as the not-hurting-you part, there is such a great variety of that among impressions and within types that I don't think I can advise much on that. Maybe your style of iNtuition can guide you better on that, anyway.

  8. #8
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    you might want to think about your current friendships and past relationships and try to identify some overall preferences. for me, i know i do better with Js than Ps, i really like Ni dom/aux, and i get along very well with outgoing leaders and overachievers. maybe you can identify a few major characteristics that you really appreciate in people and try looking for those. i'm inclined against recommending certain types because preferences end up so different... take me, i often am really attracted to ENFJs... then elfboy, another ENFP, but he prefers ESFPs... and neither of those types are our supposed "ideal match", INTJ...

  9. #9
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    I vote for the INFJ/ENFP match up. I know several married couples with this pairing who seem to get along fabulously... though the general point of contention seems to be the P/J thing.

    I'm going to respectfully disagree with the people on this forum that reject the idea of using typology when picking a mate. Of course, I'd never let typology dictate who I hang out with / date. But it can be a very powerful tool in sorting through potential mates. Dating is a sorting process and we apply all sorts of tests to potential mates. Why shouldn't typology be one of those tools?

    Another thing, IMHO an Intuition Dominant like an INFJ should NEVER seriously date a Sensing Dominant like an ESFP. That is a recipe for disaster.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀
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  10. #10
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Ignore those who are saying it's a personal thing and the best answer is to find someone you are compatible with and then use MBTI to gain better understanding of each other, ignore all of them, they're hippies and not to be trusted. The correct answer is ESTP 8w7 sx/sp, just be sure they are also a Virgo. You're welcome.

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