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Developing Fe

SRT

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So, I've kinda been wrestling with the notion that I may want to look into developing my Fe a bit more. I take a special pride in my Fi, but I'd really rather it not come at the cost of hurting/isolating others, or being too self-involved to reach out and help others.

As I understand it:
Fi is an internalization process of values, i.e. looking within yourself to slowly create a system of beliefs.
Fe is an externalization process of values, i.e. looking towards other people's feelings to build a belief structure.

Would Fe come from just thinking about how my actions affect those around me, and putting them first, or is there something more to it?
How would Fe work if there were some rift in a group's dynamic?
Am I completely off-base with regard to the difference between Fi and Fe?

Any other tips or suggestions will be appreciated.
 

INTP

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i dont think you can really use like real Fe, because you use Fi instead, but you can use your Ne with your Fi to reach out your F to outside world and just try to behave like Fe user would.
 

INTP

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Not as often as Fi, anyway. Anyone can use any of the functions.

more i learn about the system more it seems that its other functions together looking like some different function. like Ne + Fi with a hint of Te maybe(and maybe working with Si learned behavior) looking like Fe, not real Fe. it would be extraverting F, but it would be Fi thats focused on outside world, not extraverted feeling.
 

SRT

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i dont think you can really use like real Fe, because you use Fi instead, but you can use your Ne with your Fi to reach out your F to outside world and just try to behave like Fe user would.

I had similar thought about that, but I skipped the Ne. Using Fe through Fi. Like, its imperative to me (Fi) to behave in regard to other's feelings (Fe). I'm just kinda curious if Fe users can resonate with what I said in the OP, or if there was something else that I'm missing
 

INTP

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Like, its imperative to me (Fi) to behave in regard to other's feelings (Fe).

but you see whether you act accordingly to others feelings is judged first with Fi to see if it suits you and goes to your values etc. so its just back to acting according to your values instead of going by values defined by other people. -> some people prefer Fe on this sort of situation and some cant help to judge with Fi because Fi judgment is so strong. thats my opinion about this whole shadow function crap

i thought i was using Fi like really heavily on one issue for a long long time, but when i introspected on it more and more it came pretty clear that it was Fe + Ti all along, not Fi. even some function tests during that part of my life gave me really high Fi score(im sure they still would).. but its just my Ti handling the inferior Fe.
 

Thalassa

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Fi and Fe are world views. Fe will shift values with the group to focus in on harmony with other people, or else strongly impose social rules that they associate with their primary in-group (which means that all Fe users don't just become moral flakes depending on their surroundings, Fe can keep its own values, it will just hearken back to the primary in-group....and these values can also be tweaked with Ti for logical examination).

SO...you're not going to have Fe. I seemed to have more Fe as a child, but I think it was because I followed my grandparents values in order to 1) self-preserve and 2) be loved. Those aren't Fe motivations, I know, because as soon as I turned twelve or thirteen, I vehemently disagreed with some of their values, really started examining what I found wrong with them, and started creating my own.

I have learned something that looks like Fe because of life experience...I have a bunch of tertiary Te for an ENFP (which means I press the Te button a lot, but it still looks sloppier than it would with a TJ) meaning that by my late teens/early twenties I had become really abrupt and directive when a task needed to be handled. I then learned that doing so pushed people away, and eventually that bothered my Fi. Again, unlike a TJ, I wasn't comfortable living in that state knowing I could push people away, so I adjusted my Te "presentation" to suit my Fi...by still being directive and task-based, but learning to soften it with polite words or a softer tone of voice. It's still SO Fi/Te, though, because I'm only doing it because it "works" better for me.

Fi can care about other people. I think FPs often do...it just depends on the content of your individual Fi. Someone with Fi can look like they have Fe, but if you talk to them, you'll realize that their underlying motives for the same behavior is different.
 

SRT

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but you see whether you act accordingly to others feelings is judged first with Fi to see if it suits you and goes to your values etc. so its just back to acting according to your values instead of going by values defined by other people. -> some people prefer Fe on this sort of situation and some cant help to judge with Fi because Fi judgment is so strong. thats my opinion about this whole shadow function crap

i thought i was using Fi like really heavily on one issue for a long long time, but when i introspected on it more and more it came pretty clear that it was Fe + Ti all along, not Fi. even some function tests during that part of my life gave me really high Fi score(im sure they still would).. but its just my Ti handling the inferior Fe.

I wasn't disagreeing with you, and besides I'm not sure my understanding of the functions is that good, anyway. Its the behavior that I care about right now. I want to act in an Fe manner, because I think thats something I really apprectiate in other people. I just figured asking how to develop Fe would allow me to see how to act in that type of manner. Whether or not the root behavior is fueled by Fi or not, doesn't matter to me.

So your advice on how to do that is to use Fi + Ne together?
 

Thalassa

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I wasn't disagreeing with you, and besides I'm not sure my understanding of the functions is that good, anyway. Its the behavior that I care about right now. I want to act in an Fe manner, because I think thats something I really apprectiate in other people. I just figured asking how to develop Fe would allow me to see how to act in that type of manner. Whether or not the root behavior is fueled by Fi or not, doesn't matter to me.

So your advice on how to do that is to use Fi + Ne together?

I don't think Fi can ever learn to truly live for anyone else, unless we sincerely love those people in a fierce way. I think that's why we are perceived by some people as selfish, because if something goes against our individual values, we will either fight it or just totally walk away and disappear. I honestly only care about having Fe-like behavior for reasons of function and self-preservation. I worked in customer service - I was told that I could be very harsh or rude, because I would just speak my mind or be overtly task-focused. So I learned to "behave myself" because in the long run, it actually made interactions with people simpler and kept me from getting "into trouble."

I'm inspired by genuine impulses to give or to help people. That isn't the same as having Fe. Fe doesn't mean "I care about others" and Fi doesn't mean "I only care about me."
 

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I wasn't disagreeing with you, and besides I'm not sure my understanding of the functions is that good, anyway. Its the behavior that I care about right now. I want to act in an Fe manner, because I think thats something I really apprectiate in other people. I just figured asking how to develop Fe would allow me to see how to act in that type of manner. Whether or not the root behavior is fueled by Fi or not, doesn't matter to me.

So your advice on how to do that is to use Fi + Ne together?

i didnt think you were disagreeing with me :huh:

i dunno whats best thing for you to do. why do you want to act like Fe anyways? whats wrong with acting by your Fi, but still doing whats good for other people?
 
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Glycerine

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You shouldn't think of things in terms of Fe and Fi. Just learn to pick your battles wisely and stand up for yourself when needed. In any given situation, think about how important it is for you to stand for yourself vs. the good of the group and are you willing to live with the consequences. Then again, I grew up with a strong e2 Fi user so she acted like the more stereotyplcal Fe user compared to me much of the time so this Fe vs. Fi thing is all a blur to me.
 

SRT

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i didnt think you were disagreeing with me :huh:

i dunno whats best thing for you to do. why do you want to act like Fe anyways? whats wrong with acting by your Fi, but still doing whats good for other people?

I wasn't sure so that's why I said it, lol.

Um, well, like I said in the OP, I have a certain kinda pride in Fi, being Fi-dominant, but sometimes there's a nagging doubt in my mind that the only reason I did something was to satisfy my own need. I'd like to move away from that feeling of being self-centered. And I think I see that other-focused mentality alot in people I'd say were using Fe.
 

Jaguar

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Fe and Fi can be expressed by anyone. Fe is not my "world view" (nor is any mental process) but I certainly express it to build rapport with others, especially in business. It's checking to see how my decisions impact people, groups, teams, entire organizations. Again - crucial in business when you're running a company. It is not a case of using only one or the other. It's a case of using what works best in a given context. That is how I operate, and certainly how the most productive people I know operate. If I didn't operate that way, I'd be a one-sided caricature rather than a real human being.

I express Fi when I am prioritizing what is really important to me. My personal values. Neither Fe nor Fi have anything to do with the emotions or "feelings" in the usual sense of the word. Jung made that perfectly clear — Fe and Fi are evaluative in nature.

An example of me expressing Fi is when I refused to buy stock in a drug company since I know how harmful some of their antibiotics are to people. That's a personal value of mine. I will not invest money in anything that would harm people. I don't care how much money I could make from the stock. I have many other stocks I can buy that would yield the same return. I don't have to choose that one.

We all have our own personal values and are capable of evaluating what is most important to us. (Fi)
And we're all capable of considering the implications of our decisions on others. (Fe)

This is not rocket science.
 

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forget about Fe and just try to be less self-centered if its something thats bothering you. you should keep in mind not to sacrifice yourself too much tho, would be kinda INFP thing to do if you would try to overdo this and burn yourself out.
 

Thalassa

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Yeah, I mean you can philosophically care about other people and have Fi. Fi is actually associated with empathy and trying to determine underlying universal human values (THIS IS WRONG. IT JUST IS.) I am a liberal - meaning that I believe in social freedom (which I suppose matches Fi) but I also believe all people should be fed and educated and treated humanely. I don't think everyone should be given the same pay no matter what type of work they do, but I do believe that human life is sacred and I don't want to see people suffer. I truly believe a society works better for everyone involved if people are fed and educated. But that doesn't mean I have Fe. Just because I don't want strangers to suffer in their basic needs for food and health and learning doesn't mean that I, in my daily life, make my decisions based on what other people would prefer. Because beyond my belief that all people deserve to live and have an equal opportunity to be treated with dignity, respect, and blah blah blah, I also don't think I should have to repress who I am to make other people happy, as long as I'm not hurting them.

If you'll notice, a lot of people with Fe "behave themselves" for lack of a better term. They do really well with maintaining the harmony or nudging others to do so. They engage people tactfully. People with Fi can do that too, but we're never going to do it all the time, because Fi is more concerned with sticking to inherent core values, being truthful, and being "myself." It's not that people with Fe are not truthful, it's just that they apparently will keep truth to themselves if it means doing otherwise would cause a disruption in harmony. They will go out of their way to present that truth in a more palatable or diplomatic manner, a lot of the time, if they are healthy. Fe skills rock. I admire people with Fe. On the other hand, trying to behave full-time like I had Fe would make me feel insane, suffocated, and eventually tired.
 

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An example of me expressing Fi is when I refused to buy stock in a drug company since I know how harmful some of their antibiotics are to people.

looks like. bold = Fe and earlier part = Ti decision based on Fe. could be bold = Fi and other Te too tho
 

Thalassa

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Fe and Fi can be expressed by anyone. Fe is not my "world view" (nor is any mental process) but I certainly express it to build rapport with others, especially in business. It's checking to see how my decisions impact people, groups, teams, entire organizations. Again - crucial in business when you're running a company. It is not a case of using only one or the other. It's a case of using what works best in a given context. That is how I operate, and certainly how the most productive people I know operate. If I didn't operate that way, I'd be a one-sided caricature rather than a real human being.

And your motives sound like Te, not Fe. It is a "productive" way to operate... I disagree with your assertion that the functions aren't world views. Yes, yes they are. You don't "use" Se to drive your car, or "use" Te to do the laundry.
 

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bold = Fe and earlier part = Ti decision based on Fe

Nope. The only person who knows my true motives, is me. My decision was my way of staying true to who I am. As a matter of fact, I'm certanly not INFP but my decision was the same one an INFP made - not investing in certain companies because of their products, and their effect on the public.

And your motives sound like Te, not Fe. It is a "productive" way to operate... I disagree with your assertion that the functions aren't world views. Yes, yes they are. You don't "use" Se to drive your car, or "use" Te to do the laundry.

As usual, you missed the point of my post.
 

Thalassa

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bold = Fe and earlier part = Ti decision based on Fe

Yeah, I've noticed quite a few people believe Jag is ENFJ rather than ENTJ.

I could see a glimmer of that when he was making fun of someone for not speaking our language properly, yet in the same breath lecturing me for telling someone to "fuck off." It seemed like Fe nonsense to me.
 

INTP

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Yeah, I've noticed quite a few people believe Jag is ENFJ rather than ENTJ.

I could see a glimmer of that when he was making fun of someone for not speaking our language properly, yet in the same breath lecturing me for telling someone to "fuck off." It seemed like Fe nonsense to me.

no idea what his type is. i edited my post, because i first thought what functions i would use on the situation. just illustrating that its two decisions in the situation and that its not always just one function working on stuff like that. what he said is Fi decision for him, i would make exact same decision with Fe Ti. people dont understand this too often, they just automatically think its just Fi working on the situation.
 
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