Shy extroverts feel the need to socialize more often, but at the same time feel inept doing it properly. Confident introverts on the other hand don't feel the need to socialize often, but think they could if they would want to. That's how I understood it so far.
They say I only think in form of crunching numbers.....
-Fall Out Boy
I've kind of been wondering about this lately. Perhaps it's not quite the same thing, but I seem to be having the weird experience of having people who are clearly extroverts telling me they have very few friends, and cultivating a vision of me where I'm constantly socializing and have millions of friends.
I know I'm a fairly extroverted INFJ and we can look quite extroverted quite easily. I do know a lot of people and tend to call many of them "friends" though strictly speaking most of them are more acquaintances - I only have a handful I consider really close. And I also know that being an "extrovert" doesn't automatically mean you have lots of friends. But it's still odd how this seems to happen.
I guess as skylights said it's more about being motivated by the external or internal worlds. But it still kind of goes against what you would expect.
also shy extravert is motivated by the external world, even if she doesn't appear to engage much.
Yeah, I think this is approaching the true distinction. An extravert doesn't necessarily have to be the people-pleasing type that everyone imagines; it's more that they will feel like they're flailing and stressed out if they don't have regular engagement with the external world. So while introvert A and extravert B might socialize equally little, extravert B is going to feel more like shit about it than introvert A.
Shyness is social discomfort or anxiety. Introversion is about preference. It's a personality trait that involves a preference for relatively less stimulation and interaction, and relatively more internal processing of ideas. You can be both, and they often do go together, but not always.
From my own observations, shy extroverts have an easier time getting themselves to engage and act in spite of their discomfort, compared to people who are both shy and introverted. I'm not sure if this is because they have a greater need for it so their motivation is stronger, or because they're less prone to thinking themselves out of action.
but also add that sometimes introverts do feel the need to socialize out of etiquette. But maybe that's me being an SO instinctual variant. I just bring my Se to the forefront in those situations and can be quite a goofy, yet charming young lady. Though introverted, I have no problem engaging in conversation with others. However, it's less because I feel as though I want to engage, and more as though I feel the need to engage... like it's just the nice, friendly thing to do. Perhaps that's where my dominant Fi lead me. IDK.
With shy extroverts, I think once engaged fail to disengage easily. Where as with myself, I can engage easily, but fail to keep it up for an extended period. I have many many acquaintances because I'm always friendly. I have few close friends, however, because honestly, I'm just not that sociable.
"I don't know a perfect person.
I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
An old rugby thread made me think of all this again...
I feel like I want to engage and need to. I also tend to get more and more energy in situations I enjoy. I was curious about it because I was fairly shy as a teenager and in my early twenties. Not so much now but still there is some shyness I think.
I don't really get the difference between external and internal preference. It feels like I prefer external.
extraverts focus more on external world, introverts focus more on internal world. jungian extraversion has nothing to do with extroversion as general terms(being outgoing, not shy etc), its simply about where the focus is aimed, and focus is aimed to that direction because thats where the person gets energy from. but extraverts are quite often what people call extroverts in general terms. also extraversion doesent equal people person, focus can be aimed to other things in external world than other people(although extraverts are quite often people persons).
neurological difference between extraverts and introverts is that extraverts have less idle activity, so they need to seek something to activate their brains from external world or they get bored, while introverts brains can(and usually will) work at 100% even if they are quiet and not interacting with anyone. and since introverts brains are already activated, external stimuli can easily cause too much activity to them and they start it to feel exhausting
"Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
— C.G. Jung