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  1. #1
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    Default ENFP's: behavior when younger/ while maturing

    Well, I'm an ENFP, and for those days I was analysing some facts of my life principally about behavior, maturation of functions (and personal maturation, for sure) etc. So, I want to brainstorm and see if some ENFP's can relate.

    Firstly, the first function that I primarily developed was for sure iNtuition. As a child, I was an ingenious, curious, imaginative, "intellectual", criative and communicative child. I didn't display too much Feeling at this time, what made me socially retarded, completely zany and misunderstood by other children who, at an early age was preoccupied with traditional child behavior (principally related with gender, for example, girls of my age at this time liked to play with dolls and so on, me, by the other side, was the girl with more male friends, who liked to engage in adventure games, imaginative things etc... when alone, I liked to imagine myself as the heroin of fairytales, such as Pocahontas, Ariel, Belle etc, and create my world of fantasy and play with it), and the girl that loved to read and acquire knowledge of all types, that had plenty of ideas and projects, but never finished what I started (things that I have till today). I wasn't very sociable, although very communicative, because of my lunatic nature.

    When I was 8, my first brother was born, then I felt like I had lost my title of Queen of the Family, and went up in a phase of extreme jealousy and stress. As a result, I developed OCD (maybe because of the shadow that appear in extreme stress? I seemed like an obsessive ISTJ, btw). When I was 10, I got better, and came back to the traditional Ne-dom child, and at this time, very sociable, basically the class clown.

    But, when I was 12-13, started the most painful phase of my life. I personally think it was because of the development of Fi. As a child, I already showed a very authentic behavior, but at this age, that is when I think my real Fi was born, it came up in a very immature, unhealthy and blunt thing. And this plus my need of self-expression and outspoken nature, was like a bomb that made people runaway from me. Because of this, I started a time of self-isolation, and self-reflection, that made me suffer A LOT. I needed people to feel happy, and to socialize and have friends, but my blunt behavior and aggressivity in self-expression to affirm my values to society was scary. At my school I suffered bullying what helped me to fall in depression and start a hateful time. I seemed like a hateful INFP, and very dogmatic about my own values.

    At 16, things got better. With my Fi finally matured, I knew how to handle this and apply it correctly. I was able to express myself freely, but not in a way that seemed offensive. People called me a very inspiring and funny person, what made me feel totally happy. Now, I consider myself a healthy ENFP, with a well developed Fi and so on.

    Oh, my God! I told the story of my life! Sorry if I appeared narcissistic, (and for my grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language). But I want to know if my fellow ENFP's can relate or went through similar situations.

  2. #2
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    Nobody?

  3. #3
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    I was a lunatic as a child
    - no sense of personal boundaries. I always knew they were important, just not where they were
    - no inhibitions, I just said whatever popped into my head
    - spacy, always daydreaming
    - sensitive. if someone yelled at me, I would be depressed the rest of the day (as opposed to now when I just laugh at them or possibly make a condescending remark)
    - aristocratic, thought that surely I was a prince (this hasn't changed lol)
    - always extremely polite
    - relatively quite. kept very much to myself
    - liked animals more than people. there was a beagle that would sneak into our yard a lot and I would take care of him without my parents knowing
    - similarly, facscinated by nature. always wanted to run away into the woods and never go back to school
    - perceived myself as extremely powerful
    - always looking out for the underdog
    - about half my friends were female
    - would shift between very masculine and very feminine. one day I would play dress up, have a tea party and work on a piece of artwork, the next day I would watch dragonball z, wrestle with friends and "train" in the backyard for the rest of the day
    - related a lot to bastian bux from the never ending story
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I was a lunatic as a child
    - no sense of personal boundaries. I always knew they were important, just not where they were
    - no inhibitions, I just said whatever popped into my head
    - spacy, always daydreaming
    - sensitive. if someone yelled at me, I would be depressed the rest of the day (as opposed to now when I just laugh at them or possibly make a condescending remark)
    - aristocratic, thought that surely I was a prince (this hasn't changed lol)
    - always extremely polite
    - relatively quite. kept very much to myself
    - liked animals more than people. there was a beagle that would sneak into our yard a lot and I would take care of him without my parents knowing
    - similarly, facscinated by nature. always wanted to run away into the woods and never go back to school
    - perceived myself as extremely powerful
    - always looking out for the underdog
    - about half my friends were female
    - would shift between very masculine and very feminine. one day I would play dress up, have a tea party and work on a piece of artwork, the next day I would watch dragonball z, wrestle with friends and "train" in the backyard for the rest of the day
    - related a lot to bastian bux from the never ending story
    I relate to many things, thank you for sharing...

    But in the teen years, there was problems with the eruption of Fi, or it went well, in a peaceful manner?

  5. #5
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    my parents liked my more INFP-ish personality as a child better. now they think I'm a heartless bastard (apparently most FJs think having Te makes you a heartless bastard)
    personality as a child:
    vs me now:
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by cfs1992 View Post
    Well, I'm an ENFP, and for those days I was analysing some facts of my life principally about behavior, maturation of functions (and personal maturation, for sure) etc. So, I want to brainstorm and see if some ENFP's can relate.

    Firstly, the first function that I primarily developed was for sure iNtuition. As a child, I was an ingenious, curious, imaginative, "intellectual", criative and communicative child. I didn't display too much Feeling at this time, what made me socially retarded, completely zany and misunderstood by other children who, at an early age was preoccupied with traditional child behavior (principally related with gender, for example, girls of my age at this time liked to play with dolls and so on, me, by the other side, was the girl with more male friends, who liked to engage in adventure games, imaginative things etc... when alone, I liked to imagine myself as the heroin of fairytales, such as Pocahontas, Ariel, Belle etc, and create my world of fantasy and play with it), and the girl that loved to read and acquire knowledge of all types, that had plenty of ideas and projects, but never finished what I started (things that I have till today). I wasn't very sociable, although very communicative, because of my lunatic nature.

    When I was 8, my first brother was born, then I felt like I had lost my title of Queen of the Family, and went up in a phase of extreme jealousy and stress. As a result, I developed OCD (maybe because of the shadow that appear in extreme stress? I seemed like an obsessive ISTJ, btw). When I was 10, I got better, and came back to the traditional Ne-dom child, and at this time, very sociable, basically the class clown.

    But, when I was 12-13, started the most painful phase of my life. I personally think it was because of the development of Fi. As a child, I already showed a very authentic behavior, but at this age, that is when I think my real Fi was born, it came up in a very immature, unhealthy and blunt thing. And this plus my need of self-expression and outspoken nature, was like a bomb that made people runaway from me. Because of this, I started a time of self-isolation, and self-reflection, that made me suffer A LOT. I needed people to feel happy, and to socialize and have friends, but my blunt behavior and aggressivity in self-expression to affirm my values to society was scary. At my school I suffered bullying what helped me to fall in depression and start a hateful time. I seemed like a hateful INFP, and very dogmatic about my own values.

    At 16, things got better. With my Fi finally matured, I knew how to handle this and apply it correctly. I was able to express myself freely, but not in a way that seemed offensive. People called me a very inspiring and funny person, what made me feel totally happy. Now, I consider myself a healthy ENFP, with a well developed Fi and so on.

    Oh, my God! I told the story of my life! Sorry if I appeared narcissistic, (and for my grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language). But I want to know if my fellow ENFP's can relate or went through similar situations.

    This is so interesting, and it's unbelievable how similar it is to my story. I'll elaborate more later but thanks for posting this. It kind of changes my perspective on life. It also makes me curious to see how i'll look back on my development of Te.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    my parents liked my more INFP-ish personality as a child better. now they think I'm a heartless bastard (apparently most FJs think having Te makes you a heartless bastard)
    LOL, it happens to me too! My ESFJ grandma and ISFJ mother think I'm a heartless bastard too... My Te is showing up with total strenght nowadays, and I can compare it with an ax or a hammer (as I already heard the expression "Te hammer" in this forum). So, they start beloving my clear Fe-user brother (probably an ESFJ), and seeing me as the image of EVIL!!! It's tense, just because I can act like a punk ENTJ more than I can be aware.

    Quote Originally Posted by Emectar View Post
    This is so interesting, and it's unbelievable how similar it is to my story. I'll elaborate more later but thanks for posting this. It kind of changes my perspective on life. It also makes me curious to see how i'll look back on my development of Te.
    Hey! I'm happy that I helped you in some way, and you're welcome! Share when you have time, and let's discuss about the development of Te too, what's a curious topic in the life of every ENFP I see...

  8. #8
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Lets see.. since I love to talk about myself, this might run on. =P

    Toddlerhood: Don't remember alot, but as soon as I could walk I tried to run-away. My parents would leave me outside for 3 mintues to play in the yard, and I'd find a way to get out of the fence and roam around the neighborhood in my underwear. I did this alot, it caused them alot of stress. They'd find me down the street talking to old people on their porch, I was called in by the fire department once for being near a main road, I also got lost in a corn field once for 4 or 5 hours.. but my dad found me. I have no idea why I did this, my childhood was happy.

    Early childhood: I was an only child until 13, and very shy around people until 8. Extremely well behaved, other more wild and rambunctious kids kinda scared me if adults werent around to monitor. Id see other kids fight over toys, smack eachother, tease eachother, and it freaked me out. I escaped into fantasy, read alot, loved movies. I also loved other kids I knew, and would give away some of my books and toys when my mom wasn't looking to these kids down the street that didn't have alot. First displays of jealousy were 4-5. I was very close with my dad and grandmother. One time, my dad was playing with my boy cousin, and I could see how excited he got about it (I think my dad always wanted a son) . In my little child brain I had never seen him get so excited with playing with me and my dolls. I threw a dramatic tantrum/show and accused him of not loving me as much as my cousin because I was a girl. (It hurt my dad terribley.) Same thing with my grandmother, who I spent almost every day with. She had a built in pool, and one time was teaching all of my cousins and I how to paddle across the shallow part. She decided to start with the older cousins, and I hated seeing her give them all her attention. I pouted and told her she didnt love me as much as my other cousins because they were bigger! It was ridiculous because I've always spent more time with this grandma AND her and I have a very close bond to this day.

    Elementary: Extremely affected by positive, negaitve reward. Straight A kid, got bumped into a gifted and talented program. Loved groups, other kids, and took the role of 'ring leader.' Acted in school plays, became captain of the safety patrol team, library aide, math olympiad, and competed in Spelling B three straight years. (Never won.) I did it all for group interaction and positive reward (making parents happy, hearing good things about myself.) I will say this, even though I was *usually* well behaved.. I always had crazy different things I'd get other kids to try with me. Practical jokes, explorations, etc.

    JR HIGH: Started out ruff. Had alot of friends, sleepovers, etc. but my best friend moved away and my brother was born, taking alot of focus off myself. By 9th grade I overcame alot of personal struggles in figruing out where I fit, and found a group of new best friends (that are my best friends to this day.) Took advanced classes, good grades, did the year book, school newspaper, drama club, and basically loved life. Began my first struggles with Advanced Algebra, got my first 'B'. Took my report card into the principles office and showed it to him. Told him that I was not the only straight A kid that received a B in this class, and that the teacher was not very good at explaining math! I was a ballsy kid, and actually got the principle to change my grade with a little extra-credit.

    HS: First year- all about college, GPA, and AP classes. Joined the debate team. Did REALLY well. Got to go to washington dc and give a speach I wrote on liberty that I implemented with Smashing Pumpkin lyrics, lmfao. Best friends all became cheer leaders, but I was too dam clumsey and didn't want to be one. Joined the peer leadership committe instead. Wrote for the newspaper. Joined the drama club. Began to really struggle with math and hard sciences. Won a partial scholarship for debate, and another from creative writing. All I had to do was keep above a 3.0. Threw it all away in 11th grade.
    11th grade, met my first hard-core love. A guy down the street 5 yrs older than me. Got introduced to raves, exstacy, and being really wild. Got a job collecting on student loans. Bought a car. Decided the system was bull-shit, the kids at school were shallow, and that I only pushed myself to make others happy. Did a 180. Dropped out of school, moved out with my boyfriend into a house of pot-growing, rave seeking, college kids. Parents flippd out but found no way to control me. Had teachers come to my house and ask me to come back to school. Didn't listen. 12th grade, reality kicked me in the face. Decided that the scholarships were out, but I still only had a few credits needed to graduate. Got my school counselor to put me in a 'credit make-up class." Graduated with my class, got an award for making up more school credits than anyone in the history of the school in a short time. =P

    TBH, my childhood and early adult-hood was riddled with both Ne and Fi. I definately had Fi as a young child. Watching kids hurt other kids was ALWAYS a sore spot for me. One thing that marked my childhood was a passionate love for animals. Every. single. lost animal I found, I'd bring home to keep. We probably went through 20-30 animals. My dad hated animals, but I'd cry tears the size of grapes and beg and plead to keep them. I'd also do weird (Ne related?) shit. One time, in the middle of winter, I got all of us to make an "animal parade." I convinced 5 other kids to put on rollerskates with me, get on our bikes, with our dogs on leashes, dressed in human clothes, and pull us around in the snow, while singing! It was quite a spectacle.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    Lets see.. since I love to talk about myself, this might run on. =P

    Toddlerhood: Don't remember alot, but as soon as I could walk I tried to run-away. My parents would leave me outside for 3 mintues to play in the yard, and I'd find a way to get out of the fence and roam around the neighborhood in my underwear. I did this alot, it caused them alot of stress. They'd find me down the street talking to old people on their porch, I was called in by the fire department once for being near a main road, I also got lost in a corn field once for 4 or 5 hours.. but my dad found me. I have no idea why I did this, my childhood was happy.

    Early childhood: I was an only child until 13, and very shy around people until 8. Extremely well behaved, other more wild and rambunctious kids kinda scared me if adults werent around to monitor. Id see other kids fight over toys, smack eachother, tease eachother, and it freaked me out. I escaped into fantasy, read alot, loved movies. I also loved other kids I knew, and would give away some of my books and toys when my mom wasn't looking to these kids down the street that didn't have alot. First displays of jealousy were 4-5. I was very close with my dad and grandmother. One time, my dad was playing with my boy cousin, and I could see how excited he got about it (I think my dad always wanted a son) . In my little child brain I had never seen him get so excited with playing with me and my dolls. I threw a dramatic tantrum/show and accused him of not loving me as much as my cousin because I was a girl. (It hurt my dad terribley.) Same thing with my grandmother, who I spent almost every day with. She had a built in pool, and one time was teaching all of my cousins and I how to paddle across the shallow part. She decided to start with the older cousins, and I hated seeing her give them all her attention. I pouted and told her she didnt love me as much as my other cousins because they were bigger! It was ridiculous because I've always spent more time with this grandma AND her and I have a very close bond to this day.

    Elementary: Extremely affected by positive, negaitve reward. Straight A kid, got bumped into a gifted and talented program. Loved groups, other kids, and took the role of 'ring leader.' Acted in school plays, became captain of the safety patrol team, library aide, math olympiad, and competed in Spelling B three straight years. (Never won.) I did it all for group interaction and positive reward (making parents happy, hearing good things about myself.) I will say this, even though I was *usually* well behaved.. I always had crazy different things I'd get other kids to try with me. Practical jokes, explorations, etc.

    JR HIGH: Started out ruff. Had alot of friends, sleepovers, etc. but my best friend moved away and my brother was born, taking alot of focus off myself. By 9th grade I overcame alot of personal struggles in figruing out where I fit, and found a group of new best friends (that are my best friends to this day.) Took advanced classes, good grades, did the year book, school newspaper, drama club, and basically loved life. Began my first struggles with Advanced Algebra, got my first 'B'. Took my report card into the principles office and showed it to him. Told him that I was not the only straight A kid that received a B in this class, and that the teacher was not very good at explaining math! I was a ballsy kid, and actually got the principle to change my grade with a little extra-credit.

    HS: First year- all about college, GPA, and AP classes. Joined the debate team. Did REALLY well. Got to go to washington dc and give a speach I wrote on liberty that I implemented with Smashing Pumpkin lyrics, lmfao. Best friends all became cheer leaders, but I was too dam clumsey and didn't want to be one. Joined the peer leadership committe instead. Wrote for the newspaper. Joined the drama club. Began to really struggle with math and hard sciences. Won a partial scholarship for debate, and another from creative writing. All I had to do was keep above a 3.0. Threw it all away in 11th grade.
    11th grade, met my first hard-core love. A guy down the street 5 yrs older than me. Got introduced to raves, exstacy, and being really wild. Got a job collecting on student loans. Bought a car. Decided the system was bull-shit, the kids at school were shallow, and that I only pushed myself to make others happy. Did a 180. Dropped out of school, moved out with my boyfriend into a house of pot-growing, rave seeking, college kids. Parents flippd out but found no way to control me. Had teachers come to my house and ask me to come back to school. Didn't listen. 12th grade, reality kicked me in the face. Decided that the scholarships were out, but I still only had a few credits needed to graduate. Got my school counselor to put me in a 'credit make-up class." Graduated with my class, got an award for making up more school credits than anyone in the history of the school in a short time. =P

    TBH, my childhood and early adult-hood was riddled with both Ne and Fi. I definately had Fi as a young child. Watching kids hurt other kids was ALWAYS a sore spot for me. One thing that marked my childhood was a passionate love for animals. Every. single. lost animal I found, I'd bring home to keep. We probably went through 20-30 animals. My dad hated animals, but I'd cry tears the size of grapes and beg and plead to keep them. I'd also do weird (Ne related?) shit. One time, in the middle of winter, I got all of us to make an "animal parade." I convinced 5 other kids to put on rollerskates with me, get on our bikes, with our dogs on leashes, dressed in human clothes, and pull us around in the snow, while singing! It was quite a spectacle.
    I loved to read this!

    Oh, and as a child I've already displayed Fi too: I had a sense of self that was stronger than I saw in other children (in my view), and these things for animals (I would cry desperately because of a dead bird) and people mistreating each other and more... But it came stronger in my 13+...

    Maybe it's common to ENFP's to be like:

    Child: "Life is wondeful!"

    Early teens: "Life is still wonderful, and I want to be liked!"

    Middle/ Late teens: "F*ck everything!" (kick-ass phase)

    Early adulthood+ : "I love life, and I want to live it fully!"

    With variations depending of Fi and so on...


    (I'm like that, for sure... haha)

  10. #10
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Hmm...I was a very bizarre child, longing for communion with others and seemingly repelling it through bizarre unconventional behavior. My curiosity trumped everything, including diplomacy, which often didn't really help me integrate in any kind of setting.

    Once I turned 9 I became highly competitive, ambitious, always wanting to be the best, get the best grades, and be the best at school. At home, I would have a rich fantasy world I basked in and often had intermittent periods of highly focused, studiousness and times of holy-crap craziness. I was a loner and hated it.

    After reaching the age of 11 or so, I publicly declared strange fantasies (conventional ones - such as imaginary friends) as strange. Instead, I would simulate conversations with dead dictators at home (duh!). That's how I studied, if you will.

    It became readily apparent that I was gifted at verbal abilities while being a spatial idiot (quite literally). 99+ percentiles across the board on standardized tests. Spatial skills: 14th percentile. DOH.

    After reaching sophomore year I was obsessed with schoolwork. I completely blocked out everything out. I had no life, really. Of course, I was the quiet one no one really liked, but because I didn't belong anywhere, everyone trusted me and told me stuff. I was the school shrink. :-/ If I participated in activities, it was because I knew I had to in order to get accepted to universities (although I picked things I enjoyed) not for human interaction. I was never really good at that.

    In college, I was highly focused. I didn't do anything foolish, except once in a while. Kept pretty much to myself except one or two people. I'd rather be alone than be with idiots I don't relate to.

    Once I went to Germany, I really blossomed. It was the first time my extraverted behavior emerged, if you will. At least regarding people. Before then my extraverted behavior was indeed apparent, but focused on goals and achieving them rather than people. That changed when I left the States.

    Hope this helps. Don't know why I'm saying all this except that perhaps you can see that not all ENFPs are identical in their development - I guess a lot depends on external factors since we're an extraverted folk...if that makes sense. Maybe it doesn't. Great to exchange info. And thanks for sharing your experience in life.

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