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  1. #11
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    i relate a lot

    i definitely showed Ne first as well. i was certainly an empathetic child, but i was also curious as all get-out. i think that what was certain when i was a child was that i was NFP - P less because i was scattered and more because i was fluid and boundary-pressing, definitely Fi over Fe, definitely Ne over Ni. i hardly had any interaction with other children because of some odd circumstances, but i interacted well with adults because i read people well and was just genuinely curious about everything - and adults had knowledge. i was always the princess/heroine/fighter/healer in my imaginative play too.

    i think that because i was mostly around adults as a kid, including my T dad, i developed in a "quieter", more analytical way than an average ENFP would. i think my own T processes are a little more refined than some - not to brag, though, because i definitely lacked in other areas - it took me a very long time to become socially adept with peers, for instance.

    my adolescence was also marked by Fi bursting. i fought a lot with my INTP dad, and i made my mom feel bad often (see below). my parents were fairly protective and i lashed out because i felt restricted. and of course Fi was delivered via Te... i've always been quite the arguer




    Quote Originally Posted by cfs1992
    My ESFJ grandma and ISFJ mother think I'm a heartless bastard too.


    100% sure my ESFJ mom and ISFJ grandma think the same thing at times. probably pretty much anyone with Fe does.

    Child: "Life is wondeful!"

    Early teens: "Life is still wonderful, and I want to be liked!"

    Middle/ Late teens: "F*ck everything!" (kick-ass phase)

    Early adulthood+ : "I love life, and I want to live it fully!"

    With variations depending of Fi and so on...
    yeah!!

    though right now i am in a "fuck everything" phase within early adulthood.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Hmm...I was a very bizarre child, longing for communion with others and seemingly repelling it through bizarre unconventional behavior. My curiosity trumped everything, including diplomacy, which often didn't really help me integrate in any kind of setting.

    Once I turned 9 I became highly competitive, ambitious, always wanting to be the best, get the best grades, and be the best at school. At home, I would have a rich fantasy world I basked in and often had intermittent periods of highly focused, studiousness and times of holy-crap craziness. I was a loner and hated it.

    After reaching the age of 11 or so, I publicly declared strange fantasies (conventional ones - such as imaginary friends) as strange. Instead, I would simulate conversations with dead dictators at home (duh!).

    It became readily apparent that I was gifted at verbal abilities while being a spatial idiot (quite literally). 99+ percentiles across the board on standardized tests. Spatial skills: 14th percentile. DOH.

    After reaching sophomore year I was obsessed with schoolwork. I completely blocked out everything out. I had no life, really. Of course, I was the quiet one no one really liked, but because I didn't belong anywhere, everyone trusted me and told me stuff. I was the school shrink. :-/

    In college, I was highly focused. I didn't do anything foolish, except once in a while. Kept pretty much to myself except one or two people. I'd rather be alone than be with idiots I don't relate to.

    Once I went to Germany, I really blossomed. It was the first time my extraverted behavior emerged, if you will. At least regarding people. Before then my extraverted behavior was indeed apparent, but focused on goals and achieving them rather than people. That changed when I left the States.

    Hope this helps. Don't know why I'm saying all this except that perhaps you can see that not all ENFPs are identical in their development - I guess a lot depends on external factors since we're an extraverted folk...if that makes sense. Maybe it doesn't. Great to exchange info. And thanks for sharing your experience in life.
    You're welcome!

    Yeah, I can see it. And beyond being extroverts, we're Fi people, what cause us to be unique in our values etc. The life of each being is different, as well as their development... But indeed I relate to many things people shared here, in a general manner (you know, the idea behind each happening), what's very interesting...

    And you seem to display a lot of Te since you was very young!

  3. #13
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    That's an interesting synopsis I missed. Hmm, mine would be different, though:

    Age 1-6: "Why? How?"
    Age 6-8: "La la la la la. Daydream here. Daydream there." Be a brat. Be a space cadet. Be an annoying, opinionated, stubborn duh-duhduh.
    Age 9-22: "Perfectionism. Determination. Drive. RAAAAAAAAAAH!"
    Age 11-22: Be a strange, intense person who has no idea what to do with a bunch of emotions flying around. Be a loner and hate it. Have strong opinions and not be able to keep it to yourself. Somehow manage to estrange yourself from everyone without even TRYING.
    Age 21-28: Start flitting around rather than maintaining absolute focus and discipline. But that also meant I learned not to be so perfectionistic and give myself a break.
    Age 24-31: Grow a bit. Somehow learn to be a bit more diplomatic by thinking a lot of stuff you don't actually *say* anymore. Become more able to deal with people. Control emotions better.
    Age 27-31: Return of the perfectionism bug. What is this thing I can't let go of?

    Oh, yes. Te. I'm a Ne-Te nut. I struggle with that constantly. My husband complains about that all the time. 100% this or 100% that. I'm either a 5-year-old child bouncing around or a 45-year-old serious businesswoman. Nothing in-between.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    That's an interesting synopsis I missed. Hmm, mine would be different, though:

    Age 1-6: "Why? How?"
    Age 6-8: "La la la la la. Daydream here. Daydream there." Be a brat. Be a space cadet. Be an annoying, opinionated, stubborn duh-duhduh.
    Age 11-22: Be a strange, intense person who has no idea what to do with a bunch of emotions flying around. Be a loner and hate it. Have strong opinions and not be able to keep it to yourself. Somehow manage to estrange yourself from everyone without even TRYING.
    Soooooo familiar!!!

    Age 21-28: Start flitting around rather than maintaining absolute focus and discipline. But that also meant I learned not to be so perfectionistic and give myself a break.
    Age 24-31: Grow a bit. Somehow learn to be a bit more diplomatic by thinking a lot of stuff you don't actually *say* anymore. Become more able to deal with people. Control emotions better.
    Age 27-31: Return of the perfectionism bug. What is this thing I can't let go of?
    You're an enneagram 1 right?

  5. #15
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cfs1992 View Post
    Soooooo familiar!!!



    You're an enneagram 1 right?
    Yes, I am. Some people maintain that's impossible. I don't. I think MBTI reveals your biological self and enneagram reflects the influence environmental factors play. Basically life has been a struggle to be me while still being what I should be or, rather, what I thought I should be.

    I always wanted to be an SJ - powerful, successful, in-control, great businesswoman, poise, doing the right thing all the time, reliable, strong, dependable, perfect...

    I love this movie Black Swan because it really reflects my incredible obsession with being perfect - the LONGING, you know??? Well, anyway. But for me, it was not in art, it was in other things.

    And yet, my nature is not that. I have a god-awful memory; I'm chaotic and a daydreamer; I'm kind of hither and thither; I love taking things where they lead me.

    It gives me a kind of Jekyll and Hyde feeling to my personality. It's like there's an ISTJ mini-monster inside me. Most ISTJs are awesome, but mine is just so weird and destructive because it knows no end, like this Black Swan thing. Like her animus came and destroyed her. And my shadow does the same to me - it BLOCKS OUT the light, and makes me forget what my purpose is. Sometimes it's just blank activism.

    SJs know exactly how to pull it off but for me it's like this 100% thing that knows no boundaries. It's not mature. It's just RAWR.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    i relate a lot

    i definitely showed Ne first as well. i was certainly an empathetic child, but i was also curious as all get-out. i think that what was certain when i was a child was that i was NFP - P less because i was scattered and more because i was fluid and boundary-pressing, definitely Fi over Fe, definitely Ne over Ni. i hardly had any interaction with other children because of some odd circumstances, but i interacted well with adults because i read people well and was just genuinely curious about everything - and adults had knowledge. i was always the princess/heroine/fighter/healer in my imaginative play too.

    i think that because i was mostly around adults as a kid, including my T dad, i developed in a "quieter", more analytical way than an average ENFP would. i think my own T processes are a little more refined than some - not to brag, though, because i definitely lacked in other areas - it took me a very long time to become socially adept with peers, for instance.

    my adolescence was also marked by Fi bursting. i fought a lot with my INTP dad, and i made my mom feel bad often (see below). my parents were fairly protective and i lashed out because i felt restricted. and of course Fi was delivered via Te... i've always been quite the arguer








    100% sure my ESFJ mom and ISFJ grandma think the same thing at times. probably pretty much anyone with Fe does.



    yeah!!

    though right now i am in a "fuck everything" phase within early adulthood.
    OMG! ME TOO! Though a little more balanced than it was in a earlier time. Sometimes, as I said, I'm like a hardcore hater! :P

    Fights with parents was very common! ISFJ mom and ESTJ dad. My family is ALL SJ!

    Just like the scarce interaction with other children in childhood. I was the daydreaming only-daughter, my interactions was a lot more with adults this time.

    And this struggle with be liked and be yourself is terrible. Just like the "full of loneliness" times... Fi bursting is TENSE! Plus Te it's a bomb! I was an arguer and I am till today, what still causes a lot of fights too. It's unconquerable...

    Thank you for sharing!

  7. #17
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Skylight, I can relate to your ability to deal with adults better than children. Interesting.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Skylight, I can relate to your ability to deal with adults better than children. Interesting.
    Relate to this completely as well.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Skylight, I can relate to your ability to deal with adults better than children. Interesting.
    +1

    I'm majoring to be a linguistics/literature teacher. I just can't imagine myself teaching children. Nightmare.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Yes, I am. Some people maintain that's impossible. I don't. I think MBTI reveals your biological self and enneagram reflects the influence environmental factors play. Basically life has been a struggle to be me while still being what I should be or, rather, what I thought I should be.

    I always wanted to be an SJ - powerful, successful, in-control, great businesswoman, poise, doing the right thing all the time, reliable, strong, dependable, perfect...

    I love this movie Black Swan because it really reflects my incredible obsession with being perfect - the LONGING, you know??? Well, anyway. But for me, it was not in art, it was in other things.

    And yet, my nature is not that. I have a god-awful memory; I'm chaotic and a daydreamer; I'm kind of hither and thither; I love taking things where they lead me.

    It gives me a kind of Jekyll and Hyde feeling to my personality. It's like there's an ISTJ mini-monster inside me. Most ISTJs are awesome, but mine is just so weird and destructive because it knows no end, like this Black Swan thing. Like her animus came and destroyed her. And my shadow does the same to me - it BLOCKS OUT the light, and makes me forget what my purpose is. Sometimes it's just blank activism.

    SJs know exactly how to pull it off but for me it's like this 100% thing that knows no boundaries. It's not mature. It's just RAWR.
    I want to watch this movie.

    Interesting your desire to be an SJ, it kinda happened to me because all my family members are SJ's. I just can't be one. When my inner ISTJ "appear", it's very annoying, even to my SJ parents and relatives.

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