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[MBTI General] MBTI and the 5 Love Languages

Yaru

New member
Joined
Nov 10, 2014
Messages
291
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
NF

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I am curious as to whether there is any correlation between types and what love language they prefer.

The 5 Love Languages is a book by Gary Chapman. The purpose of the book is to discover what your own love language is and that of your partner, so that you can connect using each other's language.

He identifies the 5 languages as these:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch


Post what your type is (NF, NT, SP, SJ) and which are your top 1 or 2 favorites from the list. We can see if there is any pattern between types, or if it is just one big personal and cultural preference. :)

For me, I am NF and my top two are Words of Affirmation and Receving Gifts (thoughtful gifts).

It's a very interesting question. I don't think they are related at all. I'm iNTJ and physical touch/words of affirmation are close to tied. That doesn't seem like an INTJ response. I have an ISTJ daughter who was born NOT wanting physical touch. ENFP needs it (guess that is predictable).
 

Arctic Hysteria

an abyss of Nothingness
Joined
Jun 20, 2014
Messages
655
MBTI Type
IxFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
NF

Honestly? I need all 5, and I mean ALL 5 of them.
But if I have to really choose 2, I would pick Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service.
But my top 3 would be Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
SJ

Acts of Service
Quality Time
 

Neshama

New member
Joined
Oct 10, 2015
Messages
35
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
NF

All pretty high

1. Tie - Words of Affirmation and Quality Time
3. Physical Touch

Less so

4. Acts of service (Love and maid service aren't the same thing, but I can appreciate a desire to helpful.)
5. Receiving Gifts (I feel like most gifts come from a sense of obligation for holidays, but the rare creative, thoughtful gift can top the list. For an example, one such gift I received was a painting someone made of me.)
 

humblebee

New member
Joined
Oct 17, 2015
Messages
27
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx
NF

Touch / time - absolutely necessary
Acts of service - going w/o this would be serious compromise
Gifts - bonus points, but not necessary
Words of affirmation - not necessary, kinda neutral on this
 

Hawthorne

corona
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
1,946
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
ISTJ
Words of affirmation
Quality time
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
NT. Also sp/sx.

1) Quality time
2) Acts of service

I didn't like acts of service when I first started reading about them but I understand them much more now. Plus it dovetails into physical touch for me. I don't mean I need or even want a servant. I have a partner and I do acts of service as much for him as he does for me. But I'm very pleased when he does something for me so I don't have to do it. It's just courteous behavior one would do for their significant other.
 

Also

New member
Joined
Jun 3, 2014
Messages
318
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp
NT

*Acts of service- actions>words.

Contrariwise, I clash with people who desire so much quality time. I need a lot of time to myself.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
NT

*Acts of service- actions>words.

Contrariwise, I clash with people who desire so much quality time. I need a lot of time to myself.

Yes, I do too. That's why it's quality time. Not quantity time. I would feel suffocated if it was too much, even if it was awesome time.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

Up the Wolves
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Messages
19,449
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Quality time (not necessarily in person)
Words. The words thing is easy to fake, so it means I need someone trustworthy.
 

Chrysanthe

New member
Joined
Jun 7, 2015
Messages
742
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
NF doesn't describe me very well, so I'd rather use NP. Afterall, in Socionics at least, the four Romance quadras or whatever you call em are divided by the type and orientation of the more dominant Perceiving function. Though that might not have anything to do with this, it seems at least more fitting than using these cursed Keirsey Temperaments.

Anyways.... in order from Most Effective to Least Effective....

1. Quality Time (This usually means doing some activity that we enjoy together.)
2. Physical Touch (Honestly any soft stroke of the hand against me would make me instantly more soft and compassionate towards you... it works too well. Now this doesn't mean you can hit me... ExFPs lol)
3. Acts of Services (This would score higher for those who are good at cooking, yes. :wubbie:)
4. Words of Affirmation (I am kind of apathetic and neutral towards spoken words.)
5. Receiving Gifts (Unless said gift is surprise sex. (which falls into Physical Touch/Acts of Services category anyways) I can't help but feel guilty when someone buys something for me... I would absolutely love it, however, if a significant other would buy something for the both of us! Or if you do give me something... at least present it in a way which doesn't make me feel bad, if possible.)
 

fetus

New member
Joined
Mar 22, 2015
Messages
2,575
Enneagram
6w7
It greatly depends on the person. For instance, physical touch (hugging, etc.) is very high up there for my best friends, but I am NOT a huggy person for anyone else. Words of affirmation kind of goes for everyone, so I'd put that as one of the most important.
 

elcie

New member
Joined
Oct 29, 2015
Messages
64
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
612
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
SJ
Acts of service - well I used to do this one all the time, mainly to get people to like me :p but I've become a lot more cautious and only use it when I genuinely feel something now
Quality time
 

strychnine

All Natural! All Good!
Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
895
SP

Quality Time
Words of Affirmation

For the love of all that is good, please do not touch me or give me gifts, I will return them.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
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Null

-
Joined
May 15, 2015
Messages
315
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I'm ... an introvert.

Acts of service is definitely on top for me, followed by Quality Time.
For the love of all that is good, please do not touch me or give me gifts, I will return them.
This 100%. Physical touch especially freaks me out.
 

Kas

Fabula rasa
Joined
Apr 22, 2015
Messages
2,554
NF

Quality time
Phisical touch (kind of weird, normally I prefer people to no not intrude my personal space)
 

MBtype

New member
Joined
Sep 23, 2019
Messages
14
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
2
I am SJ and my top two are:
Physical touch and receiving gifts.

I don't believe receiving gifts is about the gift it just lets me know they were thinking about me when they saw something, even if it's only my favourite chocolate bar..
 
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