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  1. #81
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    I think there's also a corollary to all of this - the disfavored languages are very important, but only in restricted contexts.

    For example, in my case:

    Words - I don't need constant affirmation or ego-boosting, but I do need to know every once in a while what I mean to you. However, the rarity of it is important - that's how I know you mean it.

    Service - Not so much little acts (I won't even notice), but a willingness to come through when I absolutely need your help

    Gifts - if it shows that you really "get" me, then I won't forget it.

  2. #82
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    physical touch (which is funny, because I normally avoid physical contact with people... I don't even shake people's hands! If I like you I even make excuses to have my hands on you though )

    acts of service... though I must admit that's in part because it makes ME feel good as well... the man and I have been in a one-upsmanship contest with one another on acts of service for a few years now

    least favorite are words (I've been with too many liars) and gifts (shallow!)

    sp/so for instinctual stackings... take that presumptions!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #83
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    quality time/physical touch
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  4. #84
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    So, the ideal is probably to have the same preferences as the person you are with then.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  5. #85
    Senior Member Hera's Avatar
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    NT: Quality time and physical touch

  6. #86
    ThatGirl
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    Lol, I can't wait till all of you physical touch and quality time people come home from a hard day to find a lazy man in front of the tv who now wants to either talk about his feelings, his day, or have sex.....while you still have a million other things to do.

    Just sayin!

  7. #87
    don't fence me in sui generis's Avatar
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    I'm an SJ (though barely S) and:
    I like RECEIVING physical touch and words of affirmation. I also enjoy GIVING gifts and acts of service, though strangely don't view them as acts of love on the receiving end.
    Murphy Brown: What is it with us? Why can't we take the easy road once in awhile?
    Avery Brown: Because it's boring and dishonest and uncomfortable, like wearing a pair of shoes all day that pinch your feet.

    approx 55% ES, 90% TJ

  8. #88
    Senior Member StrawMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    NT.

    To fit my squarish self into a roundish hole, I would have to say:

    1. Quality Time (which emcompasses very deep personal talk / exploration of world)

    followed by

    2. Physical Touch [not necessarily sex]

    Words of Affirmation only work in the right context.
    Gifts only work if your gift shows you know me uniquely.
    Gifts of Service are appreciated pragmatically but don't really stroke me.

    I wish those three things meant more to me, but typically they roll off my back, unless I am specifically asking for them.

    To be honest, I just want to talk meaningfully and feel like someone knows me, and delights in me and who I am.

    EDIT: I just skimmed the rest of the thread... ROFL
    I relate a lot to all of this. I would add joking around and just having fun together in general to my idea of quality time.

  9. #89
    Senior Member chachamaru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    physical touch (which is funny, because I normally avoid physical contact with people... I don't even shake people's hands! If I like you I even make excuses to have my hands on you though )

    acts of service... though I must admit that's in part because it makes ME feel good as well... the man and I have been in a one-upsmanship contest with one another on acts of service for a few years now

    least favorite are words (I've been with too many liars) and gifts (shallow!)

    sp/so for instinctual stackings... take that presumptions!
    Yes, yes, and yes.

    I kept on typing Yeti.
    a cat is fine too

  10. #90
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    SJ

    It depends on my relationship with them. Friends and family members get Gifts and Acts of service

    My preference though when I'm with someone I'm romantically involved with? Physical touch primarily and quality time . I'm very touchy feely, as was my ENFJ which is why we did so well together. When I dated my ISTJ though...she didn't really care for that and that killed me.

    And...and I'm Sx/So
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

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