I think there's also a corollary to all of this - the disfavored languages are very important, but only in restricted contexts.
For example, in my case:
Words - I don't need constant affirmation or ego-boosting, but I do need to know every once in a while what I mean to you. However, the rarity of it is important - that's how I know you mean it.
Service - Not so much little acts (I won't even notice), but a willingness to come through when I absolutely need your help
Gifts - if it shows that you really "get" me, then I won't forget it.