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  1. #61
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarcasticus View Post
    Heh, I think our orders of preference are identical. I just don't get the whole "Acts of Service" thing. That's dead last for me behind Gifts (which I appreciate but don't expect or demand).
    Maybe I am misunderstanding what acts of service means. To me it is someone going out of their way to do something with or for you. Becoming a companion not just an ornament. There is something very unexpected and sweet about it. Specially since I usually am so freaking independent, someone who can jump in there with me really gets my attention.

    Edit: I should also add this is probably one of the most difficult ways for someone to become close to me. So when it does happen it is very intimate for me.

  2. #62
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    What do the rest of you consider to be physical touch? In my case, I mean nothing more than a back rub when I'm stressed, or a quick peck on the cheek when she's walking by, just because. It doesn't have to be sexual at all.
    A hand on the leg or back, a quick squeeze, massage, lying against each other while watching a movie, a hug, playing/tickling/bantering/wrestling like little kids (lol)... any number of little touches.

    (Also since I'm not a touchy-feely person, *at all*, with friends, I think that's why it's heightened as is so important to me in a romantic context - it's my outlet for human [physical] contact, and it's so special for me, and means so much, that I really only reserve it for my sig. other - I'm WAY touchy-feely w/ him! But to your point, it doesn't have to be sexual)
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  3. #63
    small potatoes NotOfTwo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    A hand on the leg or back, a quick squeeze, massage, lying against each other while watching a movie, a hug, playing/tickling/bantering/wrestling like little kids (lol)... any number of little touches.

    (Also since I'm not a touchy-feely person, *at all*, with friends, I think that's why it's heightened as is so important to me in a romantic context - it's my outlet for human [physical] contact, and it's so special for me, and means so much, that I really only reserve it for my sig. other - I'm WAY touchy-feely w/ him! But to your point, it doesn't have to be sexual)
    +1
    "It's never enough." The Cure

  4. #64
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    Feb 2011
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    NF (ENFP)

    1) Physical touch
    This is how I communicate and what I best understand. This is the language that I use, not the one I feel is better or most profound. Even just playing with my hair or play-fighting makes me understand that I'm wanted, safe, and loved. Friendships and relationships lacking in this feel cold and I have the impulse to mew like a forlorn kitten (I won't, you're more likely to be snarled at, but still...)

    2) Quality time

    3) Words of affirmation
    I sincerely appreciate them and take them to heart, but I'm too free with them to make it a primary language.

    4) Acts of service
    It's horrible, but these will go mostly unnoticed by me. It's wonderful that you did that, but I'll only notice once in a blue moon...

    5) Receiving Gifts
    Sounds great in theory, but usually winds up being upsetting in one way or another.

  5. #65

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    NT

    Quality Time
    Physical Touch

    I have to be the initiater of physical touch though. I get very incomfortable if someone touches me while I feel we are not that close. And the psychical touch has to be very subtle. A stroke on the cheek, or neck, a soft kiss. It has to be real and sensitive.

    Word of affirmation also do it for me sometimes. But it has to be just right. Kinda like the physical touch.

  6. #66
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Foiled again!

    I may have to view you as a sampling error.....!
    Dear Saturned,

    It would not be the first time

    <3
    Unique Snowflake


    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    Too bad this thread didn't include instinctual stackings. You might get a stronger correlation.
    I was wondering about that myself, the fact that when I'm in a relationship gifts mean more to me than I thought they would whereas quality time and physical contact meant less than I thought is something that could easily tie into my sp/so-ness.

  7. #67
    Junior Member
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    NF

    Words of Affirmation
    Quality Time
    Acts of Service
    Gifts/Physical Touch

    I think I'm an Enneagram 3w2, which I've always thought explained my desire for words of affirmation.

  8. #68
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    SP (ISTP)

    Quality Time
    Physical Touch
    Words of Affirmation
    Receiving Gifts
    Acts of Service

    I remember being baffled when one of my friends (ESTJ) said, "the most romantic thing is the sight of my boyfriend doing the dishes."
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  9. #69
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    I was wondering about that myself, the fact that when I'm in a relationship gifts mean more to me than I thought they would whereas quality time and physical contact meant less than I thought is something that could easily tie into my sp/so-ness.
    Not certain I fully understand the gifts correlation unless as an sp/so, you view gifts as concrete proof of caring and an action to take if you value someone, particularly if the gifts are tailored in a considerate way to the giftee. Is that correct or off by a mile?

    As for myself, being an sx/sp:

    sx = intimacy which includes physical touch.
    sp = quality time and effort, proof positive of caring.

  10. #70
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    Dear Saturned,

    It would not be the first time

    <3
    Unique Snowflake


    :hugsnowflakebeforesnowflakemelts:

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