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  1. #31
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    SJ

    Words of Affirmation
    Acts of Service / Quality Time

  2. #32
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    SP

    Physical touch
    quality time/ words of affirmation
    acts of service
    gifts
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  3. #33
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    My super INTP dad told me that that is his #1 with quality time right afterwards. And by super, I mean that when he took the official test for work he only scored 1 point on the F side. I was pretty surprised myself.
    In my case, once I want to be close with you, I want to be CLOSE with you, if you catch my drift.

    Re: gifts, service, words -

    Gifts - much like already mentioned - it's usually crap I don't need, and don't have space for, or if I do want it, it's not the exact kind I want. I like giving gifts, and am good at it, but don't really need anything in return. I also hate thank you notes. Finally, there's always the ridiculous social dance that goes along with it. You never can express how you actually feel when receiving a gift. May be mistaken for bribery.

    Service - I don't want your service; I want your help. That turns it from service into quality time. Likewise, if you do something for me, it seems very neutral, because it's expected that I'll hit you back up in the future. It's maintaining the relationship, instead of building it. Can be mistaken for currying favors.

    Words - I don't like words of affirmation, because it once again starts up the silly social dance of acting humble even when you're feeling confident or even proud of yourself. It's annoyingly inauthentic (now you're going to think I'm an NF, lol), and can often be mistaken for flattery.

  4. #34
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    In my case, once I want to be close with you, I want to be CLOSE with you, if you catch my drift.

    Re: gifts, service, words -

    Gifts - much like already mentioned - it's usually crap I don't need, and don't have space for, or if I do want it, it's not the exact kind I want. I like giving gifts, and am good at it, but don't really need anything in return. I also hate thank you notes. Finally, there's always the ridiculous social dance that goes along with it. You never can express how you actually feel when receiving a gift. May be mistaken for bribery.

    Service - I don't want your service; I want your help. That turns it from service into quality time. Likewise, if you do something for me, it seems very neutral, because it's expected that I'll hit you back up in the future. It's maintaining the relationship, instead of building it. Can be mistaken for currying favors.

    Words - I don't like words of affirmation, because it once again starts up the silly social dance of acting humble even when you're feeling confident or even proud of yourself. It's annoyingly inauthentic (now you're going to think I'm an NF, lol), and can often be mistaken for flattery.
    Very interesting. And no, I don't think you are an NF .

  5. #35
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    NF

    Physical Touch
    Quality Time

    (sometimes reversed, but those two always come out on top)

    I also like Acts of Service, because to me it indicates concern and caring about a person's basic well-being, and Words of Affirmation are always nice, though I tend to think that some people can say pretty words they don't mean which is why it doesn't come out on top for me.

    I don't throw Gifts away, they're lovely. All love languages are lovely, but those are mine in approximate order.

  6. #36
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Well, so far there seems to be an initial correlation between NT's and disliking the gift giving. (and now there will be some pesky NT coming along who waxes eloquent about how much they adore getting gifts.)


    I don't think I can list my preferences in any kind of order as what sounds ideal and what I actually react to in a relationship are not always the same but I do like giving and receiving gifts, nothing big, just little things that mean something to the other person that shows you get them and were thinking about them. Nothing perks me up more than getting home after a crappy day than a surprise gift. I'm not into expensive gifts, it's the thought behind it that matters the most.

  7. #37
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post


    I don't think I can list my preferences in any kind of order as what sounds ideal and what I actually react to in a relationship are not always the same but I do like giving and receiving gifts, nothing big, just little things that mean something to the other person that shows you get them and were thinking about them. Nothing perks me up more than getting home after a crappy day than a surprise gift. I'm not into expensive gifts, it's the thought behind it that matters the most.
    Foiled again!

    I may have to view you as a sampling error.....!

  8. #38
    Senior Member StrawMan's Avatar
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    NT

    Quality time
    Physical touch

  9. #39
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    nf

    if i remember right it was words of affirmation and quality time with physical touch close behind and the other two close to zero.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #40
    ThatGirl
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    I'd probably be.....

    Acts of Service
    Quality Time
    Physical Touch
    Receiving Gifts
    Words of Affirmation


    I am a type 8.


    I should note, the last man I dated...I really felt neutral about him until he kind of entered into my world, and helped me out with a couple things, showed how capable he was and how well we work together as a team.

    I need to feel that sense of connection with someone like we are in step, headed in the same place at the same time.

    This is only enforced more with good quality time to back it up.

    And then if the sex is good.......

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