Lol, I can't wait till all of you physical touch and quality time people come home from a hard day to find a lazy man in front of the tv who now wants to either talk about his feelings, his day, or have sex.....while you still have a million other things to do.
Even in this scenario, I would probably be ok as long as I got physical contact. I need to be connected with the human that I love. Not necessarily sexually, though I'd never let anyone else touch me in the way a partner does. I just crave touch as a way to express feelings. I don't feel right if I don't have that outlet. My favorite things ever are laying my head in his lap and being patted and being completely entwined watching teev. I feel like I don't even need much else if I have those things. (Ridiculous, I know!)
NT. I will rank them and go through them. I grew up in a family with very different preferences than mine, so I can accept most.
1. Quality time—Time is the most precious commodity in my life.
2. Physical Touch—I don’t always communicate well with words. Though I MUST see it coming. Nothing angers me more than being touched at the wrong time…like when I’m trying to read. Or write. Or focused intensely upon a task. It disrupts my concentration and I don't take well to it.
3. Service—I work 40 hours as well as belong to a PhD program. I don’t have much time to do many everyday tasks like going to the store. Somebody who does these things for me, and does them right--before I need to ask them to do it--makes me feel deeply understood.
4. Words of Affirmation—I am not good at this, nor do I require it (sometimes it comes off as disingenuous). But my INFJ mate is good at this, so I have come to accept it.
5. Gift giving—I dislike feeling like I am buying somebody or being bought. But, if the message in the gift is salient, I will remember the gift forever. Though, my father is a strong gift giver, so I have learned to accept his gift style…he simply doesn’t know any way show he cares other than a signed check and a hug. He’s a very busy, strong-and-silent type.
sx/sp - touch, and service (quality time is spent in helping someone else out)
sp/sx - gifts, and words (showing intimacy, but not too much)
sx/so - touch, and words (since time gets the two of you close, and words strengthen that social bond)
so/sx - time, and touch (since your sexual instinct desires to intensify the social relationship)
sp/so - gifts, and service (like nice things, but you really like giving and receiving nice things from loved ones)
so/sp - time, and words (the greatest gift is to know that someone loves you, and that you love someone)
Probably wrong, but what the hey?
I wonder if Enneagram type + instinctual subtype would have some better correlation. It doesn't seem like there is much correlation at all for MBTI.
Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari
1. Quality Time
I love taking time to analyze people and get to know them better. The more time you spend, the better you know someone.
2/3 tied. Physical Touch
This might contradict it, but to me, love and sex are in different categories, AND I don't like being touched, but intimacy changes it all (and I like changes).
2/3 tied. Words of Affirmation
I think it's important to know if they love me or not because it's crucial information. Also I want to know that they are thankful having someone as awesome and intellectually badass as me.
4. Acts of Service
Since I am lazy, it does help if they do my shit, but then there's things that aren't their business, no matter how much I love them. I like acts of service in general, but they are irrelevant in love. I don't speak this language.
I am a very objective person. I don't care what the f##k they thought about when they bought me that present. I only care about the present itself. If it's bad, I would usually think lower of them but I never think low of someone I love. If it's good, awesome, but then again I am fascinated of that present at the moment and forget about the person, so this is a language I don't speak.