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  1. #1
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    Question More On The 'Type Relationships'

    Since I've been hanging around here so often lately, I gave in and asked some of my close friends who hadn't done the MBTI intake before to do it. Last night my SO and I were having quite a lot of fun reading all the profiles and the relationships between types (these are mutual friends we're both close with).

    We read the 'basic' description of the type relationships ("cohort", "pal", "enigma", etc,) but when we went looking for more in-depth description, we mainly found confusing, over-analytical academic articles that irritated us both. I wanted to throw it into the ring here, to see what you guys had to say.

    First, what the hell does the anima/animus relationship actually mean? My SO is an ESFP and his best friend and business partner is INTJ. They're apparently the 'anima' relationship, but we were both frustrated with the descriptions of this relationship. They're really different from each other, my ESFP is like the younger brother who gets flights of fancy and needs the INTJ older brother to kick his ass back down to earth sometimes, haha. They have a great relationship though, like two very different peas that share the same pod really well.

    I'm INFJ and my fella is ESFP, and apparently we are considered 'Cohorts'. Another close friend (whom is indeed very similar to my SO) came up ESFP too. It says we're mutually drawn to experimental experiences, and that sort of rang true for me. We all definitely have an almost insatiable curiosity streak, and others have called us 'dangerous' as a trio. One night we all went out and the three of us spotted this biker/karaoke bar and were like "WE MUST GO INSIDE THIS PLACE". My two ESFPs didn't seem to think danger was any possibility at all, and while I'm different in that I DID project there could be danger, I just wanted to see what it was really like inside so bad I didn't care (basically, their motivation was more "I wanna see!", whereas mine was "I think this place might be _____ but I want to see if I'm wrong or right about my assumptions"). The rest of them were like "Are you retarded? It's a shit hole!".

    My SO's best friend is the INTJ, and he's the 'companion' to the INFJ. I only read the basic descriptions, but it seemed pretty spot on. He's more reserved than me, he's very direct and blunt (but never cruel). We've always had this 'connection' but it's hard to explain. He's very dry and very witty, people constantly mistake him for being cold or smug, but I never got that feeling. It was like I could see where his motivations came from, and he's always seemed to understand my motivations innately. My SO said he doesn't take to people very easily, but he took to me immediately.

    The INTJ is getting married to an ENFJ, and their relationship is amazing to me. They're so different on the outset, he's very reserved and while he's very loving, he's not super touchy feely. She's very touchy feely, very open, and honestly, I've never met anyone in my life who is just so utterly lovable. She's just the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met. They're amazing together, and seem to compliment each other really well too. It's like she makes 'touchy feely' make sense for him, haha.

    The profiling thing listed the ENFJ type as the INFJ's "Pal", and this also makes sense to me. From the first day I met her it was just one of the easiest friendships I've ever made. Sounds cliche, but like we already knew each other from way back or something. She's really different than me in terms of socializing and trusting people, but it really is like we're cut from the same cloth.

    This has all been really fun for me, more than I would have thought. I still take the MBTI with a grain of salt, but wanted to know what you guys might have to say about certain type relationships since there are many of you who are hella more well versed in MBTI than I am.

    *INFJ/ESFP
    *ESFP/INTJ
    *INFJ/INTJ
    *INFJ/ENFJ
    *INTJ/ENFJ

    What has been your experience with these type relationships? Any insights? Thoughts?
    "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien

  2. #2
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
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    That whole Type Logic relationship system costs money, so none of us likely knows much about it.

    Off the bat, anima/animus (speaking from my own experience married to an ESFJ) complement each other a lot, but still, because you both still have ego's pushing for their own opposite preferences, there will be a lot of clashes. The more mature the partners are, however, the better the relationship will be.
    But I wish that information was more available. Otherwise, the only other one that is out there is the Socionics version. But sometimes it's unclear how much that really compares to MBTI type.
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  3. #3
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    @Eric,

    Yeah, it was tricky to find more on the type relationships. Thanks so much for the feedback on 'anima/animus', that helped!
    "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien

  4. #4
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    Take the socionics and other relationship descriptions with a grain of salt. They're true in general, but the assume that both members of the relationship are healthy and that there aren't other factors such as personal taste and your upbringing. There are trends in relationships but they're broad rather than specific.

    EX: I know a lot of NF woman who wouldn't date a T male, but I adore them. A lot of NFs of both genders seem to marry guardians. I would rather become a nun.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    That being said, from my personal observations:

    *INFJ/ESFP - You are nearly totally opposites, yet might come off as eerily similar in some ways. You whole outlook is different. This would be a relationship of embracing differences. Difficulties might arise when S/N begin to feel like different languages (P/J differences are mostly annoying at worst, E/I differences often endearing).

    *ESFP/INTJ - Seemingly opposites, but if they probably work really well as a team if they don't fight. ESFPs are wonderful with immediate action, INTJs with long-term strategy and organization. Both are necessary, though the INTJ probably gets more respect/credit from outsiders.

    *INFJ/INTJ - These types complement each other really well. Pairs like these are more often friends than couples because they are so similar, but they can enjoy flourishing long-term romantic relationships.

    *INFJ/ENFJ - You share the same main functions, just prioritized differently. Thus, both parties do not have to alter their "language" as much to be understood as much as with other people. You might feel like natural allies, or even two of a kind. Can be difficult romantically because there isn't much of a strengths/weaknesses balance, but if it works out then the two can enjoy a very committed/supportive long-term relationships.

    *INTJ/ENFJ- Nearly ideal romantically. I/E and T/F differences balance each others strengths and weaknesses, both are Ns so they "speak the same language" of abstract thought, and both are Js, which helps to minimize the annoyances that P/J differences often cause.

  6. #6
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    These mostly make sense to me, except the 'supervisor' relationship, which I don't understand at all!
    WHAT is UP with THAT? How does this work??

  7. #7
    Senior Member uncommonentity's Avatar
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    I'll admit to falling head over heels for an ESFP before I even bothered to look into typology and although at face value things can work pretty well there's some major conflicts across the board mostly in relation to how extroverted the ESFP is in comparison to an INTJ. I've found that alot of ESFP's struggle to find their true calling in life and change their orientation far too quickly for me to handle. That in addition to the fact P's often fail to grasp certain concepts and ideas presented to them that more often than not leads to arguments where the ESFP will push us to the point of near mental combustion and then crawl back to apologize after we've lost a couple ounces of respect for them as a human being.
    As for INFJ's I've found them slightly difficult to deal with because of the selfish nature of their ideology of love wanting to live life tucked away on a planet with an INTJ so to speak aswell as their affectionate paranoia and their seemingly required emotional attention can get on an INTJ's nerves and feel mighty needy at times. Don't get me wrong INFJ's are far from satan spawn but I always need a breather from how restrictive and submissive they can sometimes be.
    I've always referred to the INTJ/ENFJ relationship as a sort of King Of Nerds meets Queen Cheerleader type thing. I've long standing ENFJ friends who see me as a safe place / confidant only no matter how much advice we give to an ENFJ they'll still go their own way anyway which usually results in them coming back to us because we're always there in some shape or form. There's high compatibility for sexual relation but i'd say an ENFJ is perhaps a little too sensitive to handle our abrasive attitude to certain things in the long run they'd likely trade us in for someone more sensitive to their feelings.

  8. #8
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Oooh, I love the relationship theories, and want to learn more, too.

    I've seen a lot of instances where my friends and my own romances or friendships work out similarly to what these theories state. But I've also seen instances in which they don't quite work out the way it predicts. There are certainly many other factors outside of mbti coming into play, such as background, intelligence, maturity, mutual interests, physical attraction, etc, that can all play an effect here, too.

    I'm currently involved with an INTJ, which for me is an "Activity partner" or "Supplement." It works out quite well as we have the nice stable mutual interests and opinions. We use the same functions but in different orders. So we add to the others strengths... which is a nice balance. And somehow, I suppose because though opposites, we're both similar in that we're introverts, and we seem to manage to bring a more extroverted nature to each other.


    MBTI Relationship matrix:
    For types that have no difference is called the identify

    Identity - same types; a typological mirror-image. e.g. INTJ - INTJ


    For types differing by one preference

    E/I - Pal - work and play well together; minimal natrual type conflict.
    N/S - Neighbor - arrive at the same place by variant processes.
    T/F - Compansion - similar modes of expression; bear each other's company well.
    J/P - Complement - compatible strengths with opposite emphases.


    For types differing by 2 preferences

    E/I and N/S - Counterpart - perform similar functions in totally different realms.
    E/I and T/F - Tribesman - share a sense of culture, but with different interests and abilities.
    E/I and J/P - Contrast - point and counterpoint on each function.
    N/S and T/F - Enigma - a puzzle; totally foreign in nearly every facet.
    N/S and J/P - Suitemate - A person one might be comfortable sharing an office. Prefer similar climates, but don't necessarily have much in common as far as goals or world views.
    T/F and J/P - Advisor - each has an area of insight that the other lacks.


    For types differing by 3 preferences

    E/I, T/F, and J/P - Pedagogue - each is both the other's mentor and student; has a "parent to child" feel.
    E/I, N/S, and J/P - Cohort - mutually drawn into experiential escapades.
    E/I, N/S, and T/F - Novelty - intriguingly different; interestingly so.
    N/S, T/F, and J/P - Supplement - like Pal, but functions are farther removed; each can add to the other's strengths.


    For types differeing by all 4 preferences:

    Anima - fits Dr Beebe's description of the anima/anumus; each is the other's inferior (4th) function.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
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  9. #9
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
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    Where'd you get that table from? I have never seen it on Type Logic.
    But just doing a search on MBTI Relationship matrix, I found this page: http://jamesbkim.com/content/mbti-relationship-matrix It clearly uses the Type Logic names, so did you get that from him, or did you and him get it from somewhere else?

    (There's a lot of interesting stuff on that site!)
    APS Profile: Inclusion: e/w=1/6 (Supine) |Control: e/w=7/3 (Choleric) |Affection: e/w=1/9 (Supine)
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    That's a funny chart when viewed personally. I still like the one at Socionics better.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
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