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  1. #11
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Yeah, I fit your description. Actually, it's easier for me to become friendly with a complete stranger than with a random acquaintance I see only say twice a year - 'cause at least I have something new to share with someone I don't know at all. OTOH I'm not going to say "I have only a few friend" because I don't trust people. It's mostly that oftentimes I have...other stuff to do, so perhaps I don't have time to socialize? Or I just forget about it?
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  2. #12
    figsfiggyfigs
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    I don't know about other types, and I'm a little weird, bur this sounds exactly like
    Me.

  3. #13
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Thanks, these are all helpful comments. So, would you say it's partly a matter of having busy lives and not feeling invested enough in the majority of people you meet - or not having a desire to get all that invested - despite finding others interesting and wanting to chat and find out a bit about their lives?

    I think maybe both guys I'm thinking of are ESTJ. But it's hard to tell. I think one of them I really just don't know well enough and I might be way off. The other one, I guess we've had a bit of an on-off friendship, we've been (or seemed, to me) fairly close at times but then have had long gaps without really seeing or speaking to each other. Partly because he is very busy, and is always ready to tell you that... I think we find each other interesting but there hasn't been enough willingness on either side to invest in more of a friendship or anything else. I had thought he might be INTJ partly because he claims to not have many friends...ok, that sounds bad More that it reminded me a bit of some things my INTJ mom had said. But when you see him in action he seems very outgoing and a lot of people know him. I just don't think he's close to many. Then I thought he was ENTJ, and now I wonder if he's ESTJ...

    Basically I thought he was more of an introvert. He doesn't particularly seem to get where I'm coming from though we have some common interests so we have good conversations. From what he's said to me he does seem to have some sort of vision of me as an incredibly outgoing person with tons of friends who's always socializing, which is a bit annoying actually. A bit ironic considering I'm INFJ, but I guess I am a fairly outgoing INFJ and it is a mistake people make about us. I'd say for sure that he's more the type who can engage quickly and charmingly with new people, but I'm more likely to want to cultivate some, or even a number, of deeper friendships. And I do have quite a wide circle of acquaintances (probably only a few or some are really "friends") who I try to keep up with at least somewhat.

    I sort of get the impression that he is curious and hungry for experience - which could include traveling, culture, and different kinds of people. But his biggest investments seem to be in his work and the rare occasions when he's committed to a romantic relationship. He's also a bit of a control freak, likes things his own way and seems to have some anger issues...

    So I'm also thinking that part of the difference between ESTJ and ENTJ could be that ESTJ is more concerned with adherence to social conventions?


    EDIT: My brother is a probable ISTJ and in a way this seems to fit him as well. He's "outgoing" in that he cultivates a great deal of business contacts and is very professional, charming and gentlemanly in the way that he does so. But he really doesn't have many "friends" or feel the need for many, I think, though I believe he is loyal to those he has and he is loyal to me and my parents (he doesn't have a family of his own). I think his friendships are mostly based on shared interests, too, like he has concert-going buddies.
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    I DOORSLAMMING

  4. #14
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Does this sound accurate, or does it sound more typical of another type or types?
    Absolutely accurate.

  5. #15
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    A while ago I was in an event where I had a chance to speak for 5 minutes. 120 people there. After, about 40 to 42 people shake my hand and thank me for speaking, and mentioned specific things I did well in my speech. I walked away from there without feeling much closer to anyone. I just recognized that I was being recognized. I just made an updated evaluation of my attributes.

    Make of this statement whatever ideas of ENTJ things you wish.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #16
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    A while ago I was in an event where I had a chance to speak for 5 minutes. 120 people there. After, about 40 to 42 people shake my hand and thank me for speaking, and mentioned specific things I did well in my speech. I walked away from there without feeling much closer to anyone. I just recognized that I was being recognized. I just made an updated evaluation of my attributes.

    Make of this statement whatever ideas of ENTJ things you wish.
    I don't find that so surprising or necessarily ENTJ-specific, given that these weren't people you had a relationship with or intended to pursue friendships with them.

    However, if it were me, I would probably be grateful that they had recognised my good work, surprised that they were as enthusiastic as they were, and I might go away thinking "how nice those people were." I can see the difference in your perspective. Your response doesn't sound focused on the other people at all, more on how their recognition influences your own feeling for your attributes. I think both your reaction and my reaction make sense but in different ways, reflecting our types.
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    I DOORSLAMMING

  7. #17
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Both have inferior Fi- dead last, so you'll be hard pressed to find a Te dom who operates from a non-objective angle. I think Te girls have a better shot socially, than guys.

    It's funny, I'm starting to really look at that in all my relationships. It's like I'm looking to 'get deep' with people who are closest to me, and if I'm spending time with you I expect a little more than surface. Not that I want the deepest, ugliest things about you, but if I keep getting some traditional catchphrases, "I'm just chillin", it bothers me. Not that I'll never talk to them again, but it kind of sets up this expectation that I won't get much out of that person, and I'm not surprised if I start to fade on them.

    Not sure how it's related to type, but there's 2 INTJs and one ISTJ that quickly come to mind.

    I can think of one ESTJ guy- about 25- he knows a lot of people, likes to go out to lunch, laugh, etc. I nicknamed him 'good times'. But he really annoys me, and he doesn't have a lot of friends. I know him better at work & people love him- especially the bosses. When we talk about his weekends, though he's either with his family, old friends, or alone. He lives in downtown Philly on the waterfront.

  8. #18
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    they might then describe themselves as having few friends
    Depends on what you call "few friends". There are 11 people who I would consider close friends of which they fall into three tiers. Some I would trust to tell and who're comfortable to tell me anything, some I would tell most things to but who appear to tell me anything and the last few, where we both tell each other selective things. The commonality is if push came to shove, we'd be there for each other.

    They're all extroverts of varying types and have always and continue bitching at me to socialise more with them but in their own way have accepted my eccentricity of needing a lot of space. The strange thing is that when we're together, I recharge. But when alone, I also recharge.

    So, categorically, it's true that I don't have an inexhaustible supply of friends but do have these few friends and a relatively large network of business contacts.

    As far as having an animated conversation with strangers, yes, that's true too. Not very shy but I can be reserved, relying on others to approach and when they do, are friendly and enjoy conversations. If I approach someone, it's usually with a purpose/task in mind, even ones of wanting to socialise or network.

    My ESTJ friend is more rigid in her ideas and approach where she relies on tried and true and more traditional approaches. She gets weirded out when you try to discuss anything conceptual. As an example, you can discuss something like MBTI for a short period of time but if you try to explain it to her more indepth, she gets annoyed. Also, she's one of the most vocal proponents of wanting me to be more social since it's "better" to be more social. She has a life that's structured in a traditional way and feels that everyone else should do the same and want the same things. Her approach is linear and concrete in nature.

    She's also someone who won't approach strangers or if one approaches, she won't engage. She's always hassling me that I have animated convos with strangers since she finds it so weird! And when I told her I attended a few meets from a common interest site, she went on and on about how weird that was! She also finds talking to strangers through cyberspace and forums weird!

    While the above might sound terrible, I actually adore her. Once in awhile she needs a pushback since she extroverts her beliefs but I do know that's also the way she shows she cares since my lifestyle is concerning to her.

  9. #19
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Inherent entj excitement can easily be mistaken for estj fizzled-out micromanaging.

    Frustration also comes more naturally to estjs; entjs let the water run off their back. In other words, they perceive, anticipate, dive wholeheartedly challenges, an accepted aspect of the learning process, where their sensor counterparts comparatively lack overall efficiency because they lean so mightily on their memory for problem solving.

    entjs, regardless of shape or quantity of connections, tend to wear flashier clothing, more easily anticipate discussion directions, grander schemes, and are generally more lighthearted, far less likely to be offended or talk about how many shades of brown they saw in their shit 17 days ago.

    thinking of you

  10. #20
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sleuthiness View Post
    Inherent entj excitement can easily be mistaken for estj fizzled-out micromanaging.

    Frustration also comes more naturally to estjs; entjs let the water run off their back. In other words, they perceive, anticipate, dive wholeheartedly challenges, an accepted aspect of the learning process, where their sensor counterparts comparatively lack overall efficiency because they lean so mightily on their memory for problem solving.

    entjs, regardless of shape or quantity of connections, tend to wear flashier clothing, more easily anticipate discussion directions, grander schemes, and are generally more lighthearted, far less likely to be offended or talk about how many shades of brown they saw in their shit 17 days ago.


    This statement is about as on point as your self portraited avatar.

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