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  1. #21
    Junior Member Vorm Krieg's Avatar
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    Sounds like you need some confidence in who you really are, and what you really want.

    Are you in some way depressed or unhappy in your current situation? Why would you want to go trough such changes? Because you are unsatisfied with who you are, or to be perceived differently by others?

  2. #22
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    You can develop traits that don't come naturally to you. I have done it.

    Try different things, watch how people act who seem to possess those traits. Do things the same way. See what works/doesn't work for you. Rinse, repeat. But it's important to respect yourself as you are and be careful not to get sucked into wanting to be someone else. You are still you, just developing skills, tools for life.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  3. #23
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    If i can't be who i WANNA be, then fuck it. I wanna be who i wanna be and i dnt like the person i am.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vorm Krieg View Post
    Sounds like you need some confidence in who you really are, and what you really want.

    Are you in some way depressed or unhappy in your current situation? Why would you want to go trough such changes? Because you are unsatisfied with who you are, or to be perceived differently by others?
    Yes i am, but i don't wanna just 'accept' that. I wanna change me. Not accept me. Change me then accept me.

  5. #25
    Junior Member Vorm Krieg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illmatic View Post
    Yes i am, but i don't wanna just 'accept' that. I wanna change me. Not accept me. Change me then accept me.
    Well, it sounds to me that you have already pictured how you want yourself to be. What is holding you back?

  6. #26
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    who you want to be is part of who you are.

    the mbti simply describes the way you most easily think - not the way you choose to behave. your type tells you what style of thinking takes the least energy for you, and therefore drives the way most people of that type operate. still, you do have some degree of control over your thought process, and full control over your behavior.

    Quote Originally Posted by ultimawepun
    My advice is that you should try reshuffling your priorities when in decision making so that facts and objectives stay on top, and emotions stay at the bottom. The best way to do this is by understanding T philosophy.
    indeed.

    read some descriptions and see if you prefer Te or Ti style thinking. they both have their drawbacks, of course. if you choose to develop Te, an INTJ mentor might be helpful. (as an ISFP you both will share Ni, Te, Fi, Se). if you choose to develop Ti, an ISTP mentor might be helpful.

    you might lean towards the side of Ti, though i think you'd probably have better results with Te. Te does not contradict Fi in the same way that Ti does and will therefore be easier to integrate.

  7. #27
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illmatic View Post
    Yes i am, but i don't wanna just 'accept' that. I wanna change me. Not accept me. Change me then accept me.
    The problem is, even if you change yourself you will still have to overcome the "I don't accept me" mindset. Even after you figure out how to become less emotional and more analytical (which still doesn't necessarily mean ISTP, btw), you'll begin comparing yourself to people that are even more analytical than you, and still find yourself coming up short.

    Learning how to improve yourself and learning how to accept yourself are two different things. If you don't learn how to accept yourself first, then your reasons for trying to improve yourself, and HOW you you wish to improve yourself, may not be coming from within you.

  8. #28
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    Screw the theory; it's just holding you back, so it isn't useful here. Concentrate on forming new habits, keeping in mind the traits you want to develop.

    Want to be more socially aware? Observe other people, make mental observations, and repeat until you can make small predictions about others' behavior.

    Want to be more organized? Start making lists of things you have to do.

    Want to speak more fluently and clearly? Join an organization such as the Toastmasters.

    Then, repeat ad nauseam, so on and so forth, until you've mastered the trait that you wanted to develop.

    If you want to use MBTI or function theory to "guide" you in development, there are some good books out there that deal with the subject, including 8 Keys to Self-Leadership and Facets of Type.

  9. #29
    Senior Member syndatha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illmatic View Post
    Yes i am, but i don't wanna just 'accept' that. I wanna change me. Not accept me. Change me then accept me.
    When we accept what is, what is changes.
    Golden rule of psychotherapy.

    When we see something we admire in other people, we already possess that quality somewhere ourselves. Otherwise we wouldn't be able to recognise it in other people. Really, you don't have to change anything. Just develop yourself more. I also think you should probably be kinder to yourself.

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