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  1. #1
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    Question Is it difficult for INTJ's to be romantic?

    I am an ENTJ (Sometimes ENFJ). My wonderful boyfriend is INTJ, and we work great together.
    However, we do have one problem - he isn't really romantic, and he doesn't seem to want to change that. He knows that I want him to be more romantic, but it's almost as if he just doesn't understand it.
    I've read that it's difficult for INTJs to be romantic. But can they be? Or do they just not understand romance? I need advice, how should I deal with this?

  2. #2
    Dependable Skeleton Engineer's Avatar
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    I'm an INTJ, and I'm plenty romantic... when I want to be.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Ego Reparate; Ob Me Non Deficiat.
    INTJ - RCOEI - sx/sp/so - Tritype: 683 (6w5-8w9-3w4) - True Neutral
    "Yeah, wisdom always chooses/These black eyes and these bruises"
    "Over the heartache that they say/Never completely goes away..."

  3. #3
    ThatGirl
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    NTJ romance is more subtle than outlandish displays of affection. I can be very romantic at times, if you can see it.

    I would never buy someone a card for example because I think they are a waste of money. I wont do elaborate things that take a long time to plan. But just when you least expect it, I will do something so perfect for you, it will make you smile, and feel that very deep sense of caring.....Just don't ever talk about it! Or want it when the time isn't just perfect.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Of course INTJs can be romantic. If he knows you want him to be romantic and he cares about you, he will eventually do something romantic. He will just not do it at command, because then it is not authentic.

  5. #5
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    the moment i told the INTx i was "done" and moving on, i got an invitation to a romantic weekend on the coast in monterey, ca.

    so yeah. tons of romance. just not necessarily when you're expecting it.
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

  6. #6
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    how could i forget.

    an INTJ once dumped me on my bday (what IS it about NYE?). we were engaged. it was delightful.

    i eventually moved on, started dating someone else, we fell in love and moved to another country to launch a business there. 6 months after moving, the INTJ who dumped me emails me and asks me to meet him in the main city square at 2 pm the following day. i am speechless--how did he get there, why did he follow me to another country, doesn't he know from mutual friends that i am dating someone else?

    my current boyfriend says this is not a joke and that i should meet him at the appointed spot (we'll call that boyfriend INTJ 2, vs. INTJ 1 = dumper). i reluctantly agree that it would be rude not to show up, as INTJ 1 doesn't even speak the language.

    INTJ 1 shows up at 2 pm on the dot, in a painfully new suit, brandishing a red rose. and, ladies and gentlemen, walks up to me and says: "i want you to know that you are the most important person in the world to me. i love you, and want you to be my wife."

    *pulls out a box with a ring*



    INTJ 2 was there for moral support (rose-holding INTJ 1 had rather cruelly dumped me, after all). he awkwardly introduces himself to INTJ 1 and excuses himself with a shocked look on his face so INTJ 1 and i could talk. i suppose we were all wearing shocked expressions. INTJ 1 then tells me that he made a horrible mistake in dumping me. that he hasn't been able to stop thinking about me. THAT HE TOOK A LEAVE OF ABSENCE FROM HIS JOB TO COME AND BE WITH ME.

    INTJ 1 looks really confused when i point out to him that most of our mutual friends knew i had moved to another country with someone else. he says he maybe should have told them about his plan to propose, but wanted to surprise me. we exchange awkward pleasantries, i inquire whether he needs any restaurant recommendations or a place to stay. he says, no, he'll be fine. we walk to where INTJ 2 is waiting, exchange an awkward hug, and part ways.

    isn't romance wonderful.
    Last edited by AgentF; 02-25-2011 at 01:45 AM. Reason: engrish
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Yes, yes it can. I picked up a few pointers. And at the same time it can be no holds bard extravaganza shock fest aka Agentfurrina's experience.

  8. #8
    ThatGirl
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    You sure you typed these people right?

  9. #9
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    i did.

    INTJ 1 ran software development for my previous employer. we had to be tested so i knew his type before we started dating.

    INTJ 2 owns a software company and took the test for me a month ago (we're still friends). sent me a text: "what's an INTJ?"
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

  10. #10
    ThatGirl
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    Hm, you must have had some effect.

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