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How is it I get along with ENFJs long term but not ESFJs?

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
I mean they're both Fe dom, but for whatever reason it's the ENFJs I end up being friends with longer. One of my best friends is ENFJ all the ESFJs I've been friends with we've had some sort of falling out. Does it have to do with the N? even though I'm NeFi and ENFJs are FeNi. Is the problem the Si? but than why do I get along with ISFJs and ISTJs? is the Si as the aux that's causing me problems? Because I don't really get along with ESTJs that well either. Any clues?
 

Offog

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2010
Messages
99
MBTI Type
INTP
Um. Not a lot to go on, but I would guess a Fe-Fi clash. You irritate their Fe in some way and they come back at you, so there's a fight. ISFJ's withdraw when you irritate them, and since you don't pursue them, there's no fight. The ENFJ's Ni allows her to focus on the long-term friendship and avoid the squabble.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
the auxilary is the "parenting" function. hence, Si in ESTJs and ESFJs is more applied towards other people, hence why you (and many people) find ISJs easier to get along with than ESJs
 

Retmeishka

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2011
Messages
239
MBTI Type
ISTP
I have enjoyed reading about intertype relations in Socionics. Socionics has charts describing the relationships between every single one of the types. http://www.socionics.com/rel/relcht.htm - If you click on the links below that chart, it describes each relationship: contrary, supervision, mirror, etc. It is different from any other theory that I've seen before about how the different types get along. Right now I am testing to find out whether their idea of a dual relationship works for me.
 
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